I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 173017
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I am 15 years old. I have been struggling with my weight ... I know im not fat or anything but my stomach is kind of chubby. I Don't know what kind of diets or workouts work for that but it has been getting me really upset. I have been going through alot and im on depression medeication and with my stomach looking like this, it is not helping me any. also my aunt calls me fat and that she is smaller than me, but even though i know that she is NOT smaller than me it still upsets me really badly. what do you think i should do about my stomach weight?please help me
sorry so long (link)
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Well, one thing that might make you feel emotionally better would be talking to a counsellor. Medication is great and definitely has its place, but the additional support of having your own space to just be, think, and express yourself can really make a difference.
Next, you say you aren't fat, but that your stomach is just a bit chubby. Did you know that a woman's body is designed to have a bit of extra fat on the tummy? If you got too skinny, you might be unable to have a baby.
The media is really good at flashing around stick-thin women and using them as role models of how everyone should be. People begin to believe this and then push their views on others. The simple truth that is if you are eating right, exercising, and healthy you are probably the perfect size for you.
Your doctor would be able to tell you if you were a healthy size. If you did need to lose a bit of weight she/he would be able to offer suggestions on healthy eating. You could also find an activity that you would enjoy - not only would this help your fitness, but regular exercise can also affect your moods. Take a tap dancing class, learn to bellydance, go rollerblading - whatever sounds fun to you.
Finally, have you told your aunt how badly she makes you feel? If you say something like, 'Aunt _______, I just wanted to be honest with you about something because your opinion means a lot to me. When you call me fat, it makes me feel really ___________ and ____________.' If she's sensitive at all, perhaps this will help her think before she opens her mouth and makes hurtful comments in the future.
Of course, if she does, you can't control that. All you can control is how you react in response to what she says. Right now you're giving her your power - you're allowing her to make you feel bad. In reality, you can choose to confront her, ignore her, or talk to someone who is more supportive and understanding.
Best of luck learning to love your body. It's an amazing thing, whatever the shape. It lets you breathe, run, laugh, cry, exist.
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hi i am 13 i had sex with my boyfriend without using a condom and i will i to know if i am pregnant he had pulled out and let t stay out for 5 minutes then put back in for 2 minutes can i be pregnant oh yeah and when he left i felt wet stuff on the floor so am i pregnant please help me out i am really scared (link)
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Pulling out is not a safe way to avoid pregnancy. As soon as a penis becomes hard, it leaks a fluid called 'pre-cum' from the tip. This fluid has thousands of sperm in it - so you can get pregnant anytime the penis is inside you and you're not using protection.
This pre-cum would be present when he entered you for the second time, along with any 'cum' (the fluid that comes out when the guy has an orgasm) that may have still been on his penis.
Getting pregnant is dependent on sperm in the vagina, but also depends on a variety of other things - including where you are in your menstual cycle.
There is no way to tell if you are pregnant this early. You would not have any physical symptoms.
Wait and see if you get your period. If possible, figure out exactly when you should be expecting it. If it does not come, then you will need to buy a pregnancy test or get a free test at a local health clinic.
In the meantime, make sure to use condoms - you may not be pregnant now, but a repeat experience could get you pregnant.
Best of luck.
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Hey Alison, it's me, Triple G. And just in case moderators are reading this, I don't really think I'm breaking the "Account Whoring" rule, because before I got a column, I spent two months asking Alison Marie stuff, and I went by this name. Sorry, Alison, it's just that I got banned for mentioning my account.
Yeah, so whenever I breathe, it's like I can't breathe in properly, it's like my lungs won't allow any more air inside them. Is this asthma?
I can rate now, so I'll rate and comment. (link)
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Wow. I didn't know there was an 'account whoring' rule. Sounds interesting.
Asthma has a variety of symptoms, many of which are unique to the individual. Only a doctor would be able to diagnose your specific problem and offer support in dealing with it.
Some issues you might want to consider before seeing a doctor, so you can give her/him a more complete story:
When do you have problems breathing in? All the time, or in certain situations?
How long has this been happening? Have you ever had this happen before?
How serious is it when you can't breathe in? Is it an annoyance, or a serious concern?
What other related symptoms do you have?
Best of luck.
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i took birth control today and i fuckd without a condom that night will i get pregnant (link)
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That depends. Birth control pills need to be taken every day at the same time. They are not considered effective in the first month of use, if you have vomitted or had diarhea just after taking one, or if you are on certain types of anti-biotic.
If you've been on the pill for a few months and taking it correctly, you are highly unlikely to get pregnant.
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I was just wondering if I was the only male who thought he had a small penis. Its about 6.5 or around seven inches but it just looks small. Also my height is 5'10 to 6'0. I just won't to include that to see if it was small for my height. Age 20 (link)
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Many men worry about the size of their penis. The average size of an erect penis is 6 inches. (As researched by Kinsey, based on white college aged men.)
So you see, your penis is actually longer than average. It's easy for lots of worries to be tied up in penis length, as many people use it as a judge of masculinity.
If you work to become comfortable with your penis, though, any possible partners will notice that confidence and it'll really be a boost to the relationship.
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okay well this may seem to be a really slutty question but if you were to have sex with 3 guys at the same time could you have triplets with all different dads because ive had one once or twice and i know this may be a stupid ? but its for real. (link)
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If your body were to release more than one egg, than yes - sperm from different guys could fertilize different eggs. I wouldn't say it was the most likely thing in the world, but it's not an impossibility.
It's more likely than an infection could be transferred, especially if you can't guarantee the safety of your partners.
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Alright this may sound weird, but I stuck 7 of those really skinny markers up there to masturbate, and it started to hurt so I pulled them out and they were all bloody. Is it possible tht I popped my own cherry? If so what can I do to hide it, and keep from bleeding. (link)
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You might have popped your cherry, but you also might have scratched or torn the skin on the inside of your vagina. It's very delicate, and anything with non-rounded tips or corners has the potential to tear the skin.
This shouldn't cause you intense pain, incredibly heavy bleeding, or keep bleeding for more than about a day. If it does, you'll want to see a doctor.
In the meantime, treat it like you've got your period - but make sure you wear a pad rather than a tampon so you're being gentle on yourself. You also might want to give it a couple of days before getting very intense during masturbation, as this will let any slight tears heal.
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WHAT DO you DO WHEN yoU have sex.. as a girL.
just havee your legs spread open? (link)
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Sex is more than just a penis entering a vagina. It's all the stuff that happens before and after, too.
If you're specifically asking about penetration, then yes. You spread your legs and your partner puts his penis in you. That's really the nuts and bolts, though that's not all.
If you are feeling excited, chances are you will be quite active in your movements - as much or more as your partner. This is something that will tend to happen naturally in the moment.
Remember, sex isn't just about giving your partner pleasure (though the girl lying there and not moving probably wouldn't give a lot of pleasure, anyway!). It's about YOU making sure you are enjoying things as well.
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The other night my grilfriend and I had sex for a half hour or longer and she had multi-orgasms and she then went into the bathroom masterbated. What is wrong with this? (link)
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The only person who can answer this question accurately is your girlfriend, but I'll give it a shot.
First, there's nothing wrong with masturbation - even if you're in a sexually active relationship.
Your girlfriend masturbating right after sex is something that I can understand you feeling uncomfortable about. Perhaps she needed one final, bigger orgasm to feel satisfied - as strings of orgasms might leave her wanting more.
Try talking to her about this issue. Perhaps next time you can use your fingers (if you've finished with sex) if your girlfriend is still feeling excited. This allows you to remain part of the process rather than her going into the other room and doing it herself.
Let her know you want to please her, and ask how you can best do that. Chances are she'll be thrilled to include you.
Best of luck.
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My name is Kayla. Im 13 years old and started fingering at about the time I turned 12. I cant stop. And I do it often. My period hasnt came in 5 months? Am I doing something dangerous to myself? Sould I worrie?
Please help,
Kayla (link)
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Fingering yourself won't hurt your body, unless you are doing it too roughly. If you feel no discomfort while you are touching yourself, then chances are everything is fine.
If your period has just started, then it's normal for it to be a bit irregular. This might mean it has months in between coming.
If you have real worries about where your period is (like if it was perfectly regular before and is now not coming), your doctor would be able to give you some answers. Rest assured, the fingering has nothing to do with it and it's more likely a case of your hormones trying to settle down.
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uhhh hi yeah im 15. & it drives me insane to not have my vagina completely shaved...especially when it comes to sexual activity...but basically whenever i DO shave i get really intense razor burn. i use an intuition razor AND skintimate shaving gel but it always seems to get really bad...how can i prevent the bumps from getting so horrible? and also is there something wrong that i get them so badly?
and there's one more thing...the guy im seeing keeps telling me he wants to eat me out. i definetly want to experiment with him and it sounds fun, but im kind of self consious. im afraid he'll go down on me..and it won't be good enough? i dont know exactly..but should i be scared? also, im very sexually active and normally confident with my body. thankkkk you =] (link)
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Okay. Some tips to help with razor burn: make sure you're using a new razor. This means it'll be at its sharpest, and this will reduce the number of times you need to slide it over your skin. The skin under your pubic hair is very, very sensitive - it's best to only sweep the razor once over the area rather than keeping going on to make sure you get all the hairs. This might mean it takes a couple of days to get it completely shaved, but it's more gentle for your skin.
You also will want to shave in a downwards direction; this is the direction the hair grows and will lessen the chance of infected or irritated hair folicles.
Another option is waxing. This can be uncomfortable, but will get rid of your hair for a number of weeks - without shaving.
Now onto the next part of the question! If you've never been eaten out before, it's understandable to feel nervous. But if your partner is really interested in doing this, it means that he isn't sharing this uncomfortableness - in fact, he's eager to please you.
Make sure you are regularly washing the area around your vagina (not inside the vagina itself, as this is self-cleaning!) with a soap for sensitive skin. Also, be clear in your head about whether you want to try this or not. If you do, you can let your partner know you're feeling a little worried, and this will let him know to try to make sure you feel comfortable.
You can also let him know what's working and what isn't - this is doing a favour to you both.
If this is something you'd like to try, then think carefully about what would make you more comfortable and go for it.
Do remember that if you haven't been tested for possible sexually transmitted infections, you CAN pass one on to your partner through oral sex. This can be prevented by using a dental dam (a rectangle of latex) or by cutting a condom in half and laying it over your vagina.
Best of luck.
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i wnt to know if you can still have an rgasm if your inner lips are a little out. I dont know where but i read some where that if your vagina is like that it is harder to climax. Im not sure if its true so thats why im asking. I thought each person was different like i thought it didnt matter the size of your inner or outer lips. Thanx (link)
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Vaginas are like snowflakes: no two are alike.
Some women have inner lips that are very noticeable, while some women have smaller ones. The size of the outer lips can also vary.
This will physically affect your ability to have an orgasm, though if you feel uncomfortable with your body it might emotionally affect you.
A good step is understanding that your vagina was well made for you - inner lips that are a bit larger should pose no physical problems. In fact, this issue is probably only noticeable by you.
Whatever your vagina looks like, you can orgasm if you feel comfortable and excited, know your body, and are happy about your possible partner.
Best of luck.
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can i get fingered or have sex before i have started my period? what will happen if i do? (link)
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You can get fingered or have sex before your period. There are some things you might want to take into consideration, though.
First of all, a period is a sign that your body is becoming sexually mature. Prior to this, your body isn't really ready for sex - your hormones aren't fully flowing (which means you might enjoy sex less), your body is likely to be smaller or not produce lubricant (meaning penetration could be painful), and your age means you are putting yourself at a higher risk for developing cervical cancer later in life.
If you do choose to engage in sexual activity, it's still important that you protect yourself from disease and the possibility of pregnancy (it IS possible to get pregnant before your first period if an egg has been released). You'll also want to spend some time seriously thinking about whether or not you feel ready for this step.
A lot depends on how you view sex - do you feel okay about having sex for sex's sake, or do you want to wait until you are in a serious relationship or married? Either is fine as long as you feel comfortable and confident with your decision.
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does anything happen like hiv aids or pregnancy when you stick your finger in your vagina (link)
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Pregnancy happens when sperm enters a vagina. As long as the finger going into your vagina has no sperm on it, you can't get pregnant.
Sexually transmitted infections, like AIDS or HIV, happen when there is contact of bodily fluids between someone who is infected and you. You can't give yourself an infection.
If someone else who was already infected and had an open wound/cut on their finger touched you, there would be a chance of infection.
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Hi! im 16/f and recently me and my bestfriend, hes also 16, had sex. We arent dating but we have a really strong friendship and consider eachother our bestfrieds. Im afriad that if his mom found out she would be really upset with me and probably some other people would to. However, i dont regret what i did and i probably would do it again. Do you think it would be bad to do this again? (link)
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You are the only one who can decide if this is the right choice for you. It might help you to consider some things:
Is this going to hurt, help, or not affect your friendship?
What would happen if people found out?
Do you feel you are physically and emotionally ready for sex?
Do you feel confident you made a good decision in having sex with your best friend?
Does he feel it was a good decision? How does he think it will impact the friendship?
It's important that you consider how you feel, not how other people might feel. While sex can have an impact on other people around you, it's ultimately going to have the biggest affect on your and your best friend's life. You both need to feel satisfied that you're making good choices, as well as using protection.
Best of luck.
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hi its me again, the one that asked about pulling out and sticking it back in....i should of been more brief. sorry, if he pulls out, cums, then wipes it off with a shirt or something and then puts it back in me is there still that chance? i really appreciate the advice from yesterday, thank you so much (link)
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Yes, there is still a chance.
His pre-cum will be in you from the first round of sex. Any sperm he misses when he wipes off will also be put right back into you.
If he gets erect again and is ready to have sex a second time, all of that pre-cum will also be inside of you.
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i have a friend she is tormented and bothered by her boyfriend and she has trouble leaving him , we dont understand why her boyfriend dosent want to hang out with her and her friends, but makes her feel guilty about being with her friends acusing her of affairs????????????? (link)
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If her boyfriend is accusing her of having affairs, it means that he does not trust her. This would also explain why he doesn't want her to spend time with her friends, and possibly why he doesn't want to, either. It sounds as though he is quite controlling.
It also sounds like your friend isn't very happy and is considering leaving him. It might help her to make up a list of all the good things about the relationship and all the bad things - considering things like 'good kisser' doesn't make up for the fact that he is having a negative impact on her friendships.
Break-ups at any time and for any reason are hard, even if they are the right thing to do. As her friend, perhaps you could just listen to her and be there to hold her hand if she needs courage. The decision is hers to make.
Best of luck to both of you.
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i have had sex twice and i havent gotten my period yet. how long does it take to get your period after you have lost your virginity? (link)
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There is not a link between losing your virginity and having sex - aside from the fact that your period marks that you are able to have a baby. It is a sign that your body is beginning to be sexually mature. Having sex before this time means that your body isn't fully ready - it can increase your risk of cervical cancer, as well as possibly causing you pain or discomfort. In addition, sex probably won't be as pleasureable because your hormones aren't fully firing.
It IS important to note that you can contract diseases or get pregnant before you get your period.
An egg can be released - resulting in you getting pregnant if you aren't using condoms or birth control - and you can actually be pregnant before your first period.
There is no guarantee about when your period will come, though your body does show some signs. This includes pubic and underarm hair, your breasts growing, and vaginal discharge. Just before your period you may also get cramps in your lower stomach or back, feel sore in your breasts, etc.
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Ok im 13 years old and my boyfriend and everyone else including family thinks im not a virgin. I have made up stories to make people believe that im not and i dont know how to tell my boyfriend or if i should tell him. He already thinks im older than i really am and i dont know how to tell him the truth about that either. Help me!!
sincerely,
**so many lies**:(-- (link)
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There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, whatever your age is. You have two choices now: tell the truth to one or more people, or continue to lie. It seems that lying hasn't worked in your favour up till this point, so perhaps you might want to think seriously about the possible problems with continuing to do so.
Telling the truth is potentially awkward, but at least you aren't telling your family something negative such as admitting to a serious drug or alcohol problem. It might help to take some time to think about what made you lie in the first place.
Did you feel your famiy would not accept you being a virgin? Does your boyfriend expect to date a non-virgin? What made you tell your boyfriend you were older?
Then you might want to say something like, 'I really need to talk to you. I haven't been honest with you about something, and that's because I ______________ (felt uncomfortable, were afraid of your reaction, etc). But I care about you and want to be honest with you, so here's the truth....'
In regards to your boyfriend, honesty is one of the most important parts of a relationship. If you feel you cannot be honest with your boyfriend, you might want to reconsider if he is the right person for you. After all, you want to feel comfortable and confident honestly being yourself - if you feel you can't be, then you are setting yourself up for a fall.
If you feel your age might be a barrier to him wanting to be with you, it's important to be realistic with yourself. If you feel there might be a problem with your respective ages, you may be right. A few years can make quite a big difference in the early teen years. If you feel you could still be together despite the age, then you will want to tell him.
One lie makes it easier to lie in the future, and before you know it you're in a complicated and confusing situation - where you will probably get hurt and also hurt those around you.
Untangling the lie now will be difficult, but it will make your future much easier.
Best of luck.
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ok.. can u get pregnent if u r having sex and a boy doesnt even pre-coome? (link)
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As soon as the penis gets erect, there will be pre-cum. A boy has no control over this process, it just happens naturally.
So yes, you can get pregnant anytime his semen is in your vagina. Pre-cum is semen and holds thousands of sperm.
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