I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 133736
Main Categories:
Mental health
Parenting
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
View All
|
| |
Over the past few months, I have been friends with this guy who wound up being emotionally abusive to me. I finally managed to escape from it 3 weeks ago when we got into a fight about my Christian beliefs (being called self-centered, delusional, and an idiot in the process...), and haven't talked to him since.
He was in the middle of reviewing my novel at the time, critiquing 8 of the 10 chapters. Yesterday, he e-mailed me his critique of the last 2.
I want my novel to be the best it can be, but I'm not sure if I should read it or not. I know it's going to hurt to read, but it'll also help the story. (link)
|
First of all never put aside your beliefs for anyone. They are who you are at the core. Anyone who would challenge them or tell you how to practice them is NOT worth it. If they ignite a fight over them than no matter who they are that's dead wrong. You're a strong Christian and that's is that.
I hate to use the term "dick" but that's what this guy is. Yes, that is crude but I'm trying to emphasize you are better than this mega loser. Big mistake if you try to get back together. Don't because he will make you miserable and compromise who you are.
As far as being self-centered goes I cannot think of a more self-centered thing to do than fight your partner over their religious beliefs and trying to make them change. However, he could have the right to be pissed off only if you tried to make him adopt Christian beliefs and he wasn't interested. It's different if you did that.
You don't sound like an idiot to me at least. As far as delusional goes again that involves a mental health issue. You have to have grandiose thinking, no idea what reality is at any given time, sense of omnipotence and something far out you believe as well as see for starters. If that isn't you than it's just another word he is tossing around meant to get at you. Nice guy.
As far as your book goes the one thing I can tell you being a writer is to write this book for yourself and what you would want to read first and foremost. Even if it never gets published you will learn how to write like a professional in the end and pick up all sorts of things. It will help you fully express yourself.
Next, don't give it to some boyfriend who doesn't know beans about writing and especially don't value what he has to say after a fight. Instead, find someone you don't know such as a teacher or prof to read it or someone in journalism or editing if you know such a person. They know what a good book is and isn't and where you need to focus.
The best book you could ever get that will make you a dynamite writer if you follow it through and do all the assignments is Lucille Vaughan Payne "The Lively Art of Writing" Amazon should have it it. That book is like the Bible and will teach you a lot about structure.
If your novel is publishable you need to get a literary agent to read it first of all and shop it around secondly if they think it's a book that will sell.
I echo the self-publishing advice given below. It's a tempting thing but don't. You do wind up with books you will have a hard time to sell if ever and have to give tons of money upfront to have them print it for you. It's a bit of a scam.
The other thing is people who self-publish usually get written off as that they cannot write well and that anybody can do this kind of thing if they have the $.
|
I am 18F and for the past few months, I am always tired.
During the day, I am constantly tired, nearly falling asleep in class quite often, and unable to concentrate on getting homework done. I end up just curling up in bed a lot.
Sometimes I have a lot of difficulty sleeping, other times I will fall asleep almost instantly.
I just want to know if there might be something wrong with me, or if I am just lazy. (link)
| |
No, it isn't laziness but rather something going on here that you should see your doctor about. Describe the sudden tiredness,falling asleep at school, sleeping issues etc. and see if he/she has any ideas for you. You shouldn't feel tired after sleeping for a decent period of time. You aren't dying but yes this isn't normal and you need to see someone about this and causes.
|
|
I struggle with getting something for my Dad for Christmas every year he always says the same thing i dont want pr need anything . Why do men have to be so hard to buy for? I dont want to get him candy for Christmads because i did that for Father's day for the past 2 years. I also gave him mixed nuts for Father's day . I want to do something really special for him this year. I know he likes to play Kill Shot Bravo on his phone so i was thinking about getting him a google play card for his game. He is also a movie buff. I dont know if gift cards seem lazy or not. (link)
|
Gift-cards are not lame. In fact a lot of people are happy to give and receive them. As far as movie buffs go you can get a gift-card and load it up with $50 to $100 and he can go to movies as much as he wanted to. The Gift-card for the game sounds like a good idea too. You could always get him a Blu-ray of a film you think he will enjoy.
Your best bet is your mother. Tell her it's hard to come up with anything when he repeatedly says get me nothing.Ask her if she knows of something he would really enjoy that you could give to him. I'm sure she has a good read on this. The bottom line is the best gift he will receive is you and your time with him. Anything else is secondary to that.
|
|
Sir above mentioned I will drink lot of water but o Wil go for urine twice a day I want to know for what reason it Will happening and some days full pain near left side kidney and also at the time of during periods I want know for what reason it will happening I am getting worried plz replay soon for mail id Imran.rz1@gmail.com thanking u (link)
| |
You need the advice of your doctor to figure out exactly what is happening here and the correct treatment if any for this. Be sure they know about the pain near your kidneys as that is crucial.
|
|
I was at a music festival recently and I was quite drunk and someone I know gave me half a cider to drink as he didn't want it anymore. I asked why and he said 'oh there's some cocaine in it'. I laughed and so did he so I assumed it was a joke so drank it. At the time I didn't think anything of it but later on I thought back and realised I was acting very hyper and not like I usually am when I'm drunk, and the next day I felt like I was on a massive comedown and didn't want to talk or move or eat for hours (like MDMA, pills, speed comedown etc), so maybe there was something in the drink, but I'm not sure! How does alcohol and cocaine make you feel? Could I have done that accidentally? (link)
|
As someone who is manic depressive I can tell you it's akin to an episode of mania (Google that term). When a bipolar episode happens the brain has the same reaction patterns as a cocaine high does. In bipolar people you can't come down for days, weeks without medical help.
If using actual cocaine you will experience an epic high, have zero focus, no ability to sleep at all, grandiose thinking, poor decisions and an inability to come down for some time, overly confidence, talking way to fast, more apt to be turned on, no appetite and inability to sleep. In addition you will have thoughts run through your brain at constant speed of a train.
The fact is you have no idea what was in that drink. The guy may have been a friend but not really if he's giving you a cup like that and you are sure something was in it. As I advise anyone NEVER drink from a cup a bartender or yourself didn't pour. Always open your own can too and make sure you aren't put in this position again. You can only ever trust yourself at a party.
|
|
Ok first off I'm a lesbian. I came out a couple months ago to people at my school, and I've been out to my family for about a year now. I've gotten good reactions except this one girl, who isn't exactly a homophobe but annoys me all the same. So she keeps referring to me as her "favorite lesbian" "lesbian friend" "best lesbian friend" etc. Like she brags to other people about how her "best friend" is gay, and if she sees me in the hallway she'll be like "AMIRA MY FAVORITE LESBIAN!1!1!" (I'm saying my real name because it's a common Arabic girl name.) In her bio she lists her friends and writes a comment about them. Mine is "Amira (fave. Lesbian friend) and in one of her snapchat stories she had a picture of me saying "my favorite lesbian." All of this annoys me, it's so extra and unnecessary. I don't refer to anybody as "my favorite straight girl" and I'm sure if I called her that she'd think it's annoying too. Despite this she still calls people faggots around me and told me a stories about how she called a girl a lesbian as an insult out of no where. The third thing she thinks that because I am a lesbian I'm going to drop my panties every time she pays me a compliment. She keeps putting her hands all over me(not in sexual way but like just come up behind me and swing her arms around me and wrap herself on me.) I don't like touching. There's nothing much to it I'm just not that type of person. No one else does that to me because they know that because it's really common sense but she still does it. Like it just makes me mad she isn't even pretty and her breath smells like shit. The thing about my school is if you don't like something and try to express your opinions/feelings everyone will just call you triggered and a Tumblrina special snowflake/feminazi or something like that. How do I get her to stop? (link)
|
Speak to her privately and tell her straight up that isn't funny and not only is it not funny that this behavior hurts you and other people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender. Also, tell her how can she be friends with you if she says awful things about gays in general? Perhaps she thinks you are okay with her humor when you aren't and shouldn't be.
Unless you tell her to stop acting this way she will continue on as ignorant as ever until someone else if that calls her on it. Talk privately as that's not making a big issue in school of doing so in front of others. Speaking up is RIGHT and consider the source at school. If someone doesn't like someone else for speaking up tough shit on them. Definitely talk to her.
In the event that doesn't help see a guidance teacher or administrator and tell them that you are a lesbian, this girl knows it and thinks she is a friend and is making remarks about gays and you specifically that you find offensive. They can handle her if you need to approach them.At any rate you don't have to put up with this at school or anywhere.
|
|
myname is Claudia ihave gas and diarrhea please excuseme what can you reccomend (link)
|
How long has this been going on? If you have been feeling ill before this or symptoms of a bug than this will run its course. If it happens consistently because of diet that's different.
In the case of a bug or random thing with no frequency what you need to do is be drinking fluids from water to tea and Gatorade/Powerade and keep slugging it back for hydration.
Next thing you can do is have someone go to a pharmacy and purchase Imodium for you. They want the package that relieves gas plus diarrhea. Take a dose of that as directed and it should stop the problem and bind you up.
The problem is with diarrhea continuously happening at random usually because of diet. The best thing to do there is cut out milk, cheese, cream and dairy in general as well as coffee (especially with espresso which can cause you to poop) and any food that is an unknown such as sushi. Deep fried foods and soda can also cause some people problems. If that doesn't stop it look into IBS with a doctor as well as changing the oils and way you prepare food at home.
|
|
Can you get Toxic Shock Syndrome when you use your pad while masturbating? (link)
|
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_shock_syndrome
In short, no. If you take a pad off and then put a new one on after engaging in this activity it's fine. The cases with tampons as laid out in the article above are from decades ago. I have read that if you left a tampon in for ages and ages when it should be changed than that could cause issues.
Someone else can expand but you're fine. Just be sure to use a towel to protect bedding, mattress if doing this. In fact there is evidence to support that masturbation during menstruation can actually help calm cramping. Regardless a lot of people do this it's just what you prefer and comfortable with.
|
|
How do i tell him about being molested when i was 3 by my dad? (link)
| |
No clear cut way. You start by saying I have something difficult for me to tell you that you need to know and just say it. That's really what has to come out to move forward.
|
|
OK hi I am 17 years and September I didn't have my period. Then I got it late October... It lasted for 21 days with clots... No pain just constant bleeding then 2 weeks after it finished I got a another period which lasted like 22 +days same thing clots etc. I went to the doctor and they did a cbc which said my blood count is low 2 weeks later they did another and they said it dropped...they suggest birth control as an option. I was kinda skeptical so they said I can go another month and if it stops I don't have to take it and well that I should eat food to increase the iron in my body. Well the bleeding continued and when I went back they gave me provera and ferrous sulfate. When I took the provera it was night and when I woke up I was bleeding heavily... Then when I took a bath etc. I realized the bleeding had stop... During the day there was just one drop of blood. As I continued it stopped completely the thing is though I was given enough for ten days and well I still have more... I don't recall the doc saying if I need to take it until it stop or until the medication is done. Also what will happen when every pill is done will the bleeding continue... I am scared I want a normal period again... The doc said this is occuring because I am stressed plz help me.... What can I do until my next appointment in January? (link)
|
This isn't normal and you know that for your body or women in general. I'm not trying to scare you but something here clearly is wrong and this doctor is not on the right track and you need a clear cut diagnosis. It's your health and a concern. Periods don't last 21 days.
What I think you should do is walk into an emergency room and get another opinion from an actual specialist and have them run tests hospitals do to figure this problem of constant bleeding emphasizing to them nobody has figured it out and you're absolutely terrified.
Bring the meds you were given and let them solve it for you. I would put aside all fear of impending death. I'm not a doctor but am sure this is something they can figure out and stop but to resume normal life visit an emergency room and explain you haven't stopped bleeding or if it stops it starts the vicious cycle again.
|
|
I know thisay seem odd but iam 27 years old and still a virgin my boyfriend of 1 year wants to have sex but i am scared because i dont want a baby right now that's why i have waited so long. He dosnt know iam a vigin either unless ypu consider the time my dad molested me when i was 3. How fo i go about telling him i am still a virgin at my age with consentual sex? (link)
|
Start with the truth and tell him that you aren't ready and haven't been. Mention the family history and any hangups and the desire not to become pregnant accidentally.
It's about you and if you aren't ready to go down this road in a relationship yet or with him personally that's okay. He has to respect it if he loves you. The one thing that could come out of this is a healthy dialogue with him on sexuality and the eventual feeling secure and ready. I would say right now to tell the truth, relax and wait over time.
Age doesn't matter 27 or even 40 or whatever age if you weren't and aren't ready at any point in life or haven't experienced sex there's nothing wrong with you. One day you will feel confident and know it's the right time and right partner.
|
Hello, I have a bit of a problem and was wondering if I can get some advice. So there is this guy, I'm F/20 and he is M/24 by the way, he’s completely fallen for me, wants to make me happy and for me to be his “girlfriend” and he has told me that he loves me many times. He lives 3 hours away from where I live so we only see each other once in a while. I’ve known this guy since I was 14 through our family. This guy is everything a woman could ever need. He is dependable, kind, intelligence, …etc.etc.. The problem is that I want to give him a chance but he is so damn boring. We have the most boring conversations ever. All we really do is say hello, how are you, how was your day,…etc.etc. My soul and mind crave for deep, rich, authentic stimulating, intellectual, spiritual conversations. When I try to go deep into a conversation, he doesn't know what to say. Can you give some advice on this? I have no idea what to do.
(link)
|
I have a feeling he really hasn't had many friends or a girlfriend or any female really express interest in who he is and in him at least not outside of anything platonic. He is socially awkward and no doubt letting you know he likes you was a HUGE gamble for him.
Now that he has you liking him back and wanting to be the girl in his life his fear has gone up because he's never been here before and cannot relax yet in conversation or with you. You need to get him to relax and just talk to you like he would anyone else and ease in gradually to the relationship.
If he's not good at conversing draw him out and find out what his passion is. He will start talking a blue streak and from there you can spread out. If you have a passion tell him about it and get him asking you questions.
If interested in spirituality, books, certain films or intellectual pursuit than start a conversation and draw him in. Over time he will become comfortable and will converse easily with you.
You also have to gently tell him that constant declarations of love, wanting to make a person happy or be together can actually have the wrong affect with some women and frighten them off but that you saw his sincerity and also have an interest in him.
He's dependable, kind, likes you a lot and everything you say you need. Let's start there, build on the talking which is fixable and not pass up an opportunity here. The only thing that isn't great is the 3hr distance. If you can work out more time to see one another it could really blossom.
Your family likes him and you knew him since you were 14. My hunch is he's held on to these feelings for you that long. You may find it interesting to no doubt discover.
|
|
Am now filling the forms and the ask:are you employed now ? Please what should I say ?? (link)
|
The truth. The where and how long only if asked. This is usually for them to get a sense of what you are doing now, availability, when you can leave and why you would want to.
It's not a gotcha question or to worry over unless you have a shit relationship with current employer and they check out that you worked for them. Always tell the truth and answer questions on the forms.
|
|
I've never worked a register before and this is my first job. The manager said that he's giving me a chance with this job since I have no experience. I really don't want to mess this up and have them fire me because I don't know what I'm doing. He told me that I always need to be busy, even when there's no customers. (link)
|
You really need to know math like nobody's business and to be exact. Management knows how much should be in your till at all times. Though you would never steal guard your till and log in and log off every time you step away or someone else needs/wants on.
Also, memorize codes for items or become a quick study in them to make your line move faster. Having an accurate price without the barcode or calling someone else is good provided correct.
As far as being busy goes he/she likely means if you can find something that needs to be done and can be at the till do it. They also mean even if the place doesn't look busy and there's little traffic look like you are doing something or were when the customer approaches and then attend to them. They don't want to look like people aren't coming.
Do you know someone who works there? If so mention the comment about always being busy when no customers and see what more they can tell you. There's no problem in asking them what do you want us busy doing when nobody is around behind our station? I'm sure they will tell you.
There's no doubt that they will train you as they don't let anyone loose without it. That question on being busy is one to ask the trainer along with anything you are nervous about. I doubt they would fire you and don't get thinking that. If it ever happened it would not be the end of the world.
|
|
Can I break my own hymen? If so, how? Like I wanna do it on my own. (link)
| |
There's ton of myths about the hymen. You might find this educational video loaded with info about them helpful to you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA
|
|
can 12 year olds get a job somewhere (link)
|
In Canada it's 14. At 12 you could start babysitting and earning money for it. A lot of libraries now are offering courses to girls on this explaining the business side, attracting parents and also making you aware of how to do CPR and lifesaving techniques.
I would explain to your parents the desire to be independent but the lack of funds to do the things you enjoy or would like to do. Perhaps they know of a way to earn money you hadn't thought of and that you cannot work until X age in state or country.
If you go the babysitting route talk to teacher and principal about placing fliers up at school and on bulletin boards parents look at and see what happens.
Whether male or female this is the time of year people especially elderly need driveways and walkways shoveled and salted. In addition seniors may be unable to go out as much and you could offer a service to get mail, groceries and other items they will need so they don't deal with ice and snow.
If you have a special skill or ability to help set up lights on houses or decorations you can bet neighbors would pay you for helping to set up displays.
More or less the idea is to think of something you could do better than someone else and get someone to pay for it. That way not being 16 or 14 will get in the way.
I know for sure that a 12-year-old can hold down 1 or more streets on a paper route (not the daily paper but rather the cover for all the fliers) and earn cash. If you convince the person who pays kids to hire you try to get not 1 big street but 2-3 smaller ones too to build the number you get paid for. As long as you are responsible and can do it well you should experience no problem.
|
Ever since I had started middle school years ago, I had been obsessed with the way my appearance was viewed by others. Not in the way where I found myself breathtakingly beautiful, but in the way I found myself as the ugliest person alive. I believe it was because everyone around me only cared about the outside beauty. No one in middle or high school gave a rat's ash about inner beauty. So it led me to being obsessed with "looking good." Plus, the bullying over how ugly I am didn't help the situation.
Now, I'm ALWAYS told I'm the sweetest thing ever, that I'm a total sweetheart with a heart full of optimism and gold. But the flashbacks from middle and high school are still killing me. I feel oh-so-very shallow focusing on "looking good" all the time. I can't stop looking in the mirror, because I'm hoping one of these days I'll see myself as beautiful... but I never do.
May anyone send some advice and positivity my way? Desperately, I need advice on how to only focus on my inner beauty instead of how badly I appear on the outside. I'd appreciate it more than words could ever convey!!
Thank you!! :D (link)
|
Stop looking at yourself through a fun house mirror. What you have is a distorted view of you are not just physically but as a person. The ugly duckling you think you see really is a beautiful swan gazing back at you. When you see yourself through a mud covered window you really don't see yourself at all.
On a piece of paper I want you to write down ten qualities abut yourself that you like and know cannot be disputed. Next to it another ten about physical and inner beauty attributes. Put it in your purse and pull it out when you need a reminder of your true self. Imagine for a moment that piece of paper ever was dropped in the rain an ink bled. All of the things on it would still hold as true as they are today,tomorrow and forever.
Next thing is you haven't been in elementary school, high school or post secondary schools for quite some time. Years most likely decades. These people have moved on as have you. Consider the source did anything they said, did have any substance to it? Who the hell were they?
You have to let that shit and a negative school experience go and focus on the the NOW and getting to know who you are and developing confidence you lack. Often bullies who usually are jealous attack the victim about something they wish they had (beauty etc.) or that they know is a perceived weakness. This is why you have hang ups about beauty that aren't rational.
What you need to do is find a licensed therapist and one with stellar feedback and work on issues you have about beauty and yourself, bullying, the future and how it all impacts right now and cut through the mist to see the real you. It's the best gift you can give yourself freedom.
|
So here's the deal..
My boyfriend of 7 months is one of the most caring and most loving guys i've met. He's thoughtful, constantly complimenting me and has told me that he loves me and im his dream girl. I feel completely comfortable around him, however we are long distance so we dont get to see eachother often. I had also recently had a long hospital stay and had to have a serious operation, he stuck by me through this. However.. i during this situation was trying to distance myself from him.. don't ask me why.. i dont know. This really upset him and worried him and i felt really guilty, but it was from this point that i found myself losing feelings. He would message/call me all the time to check on me. After being discharged, a month passes and we meet. Everything is fine in person and i was being very affectionate.. however a few days pass and i find myself replying later and later to him and those feelings were slipping away again.
Long story short, i feel like a shit human being because im being like this and giving him mixed signals. Im contemplating breaking up but i jumping back and forth everytime i think of all the good things about him. He's the type of guy that every girl dreams of and here i am being so darn unappreciative. I just dont get it, im torn..
Help? (link)
|
First things first, your health and having to have a major operation and lengthy hospital stay naturally turns a world let alone schedule to reply or see anyone alone upside down.
You can't be on top of relationships or anything aside from recovery. Most people get that and respect your space and want you to take time. During recovery from a large scale medical issue you can become depressed and lose albeit not permanently your normal interest in all activities you are passionate about or even in people and relationships.
People get it and there should be ZERO guilt on your part if a friendship, relationship is strained because of it. In terms of this guy you need to ask yourself what you really want out of a relationship, whether you are getting that here and if you are still interested. You may want to meet someone you can see all the time.
If you don't feel like even responding to him that's okay as long as you admit to yourself you want to move on and let him know this decisively.
Again, if you were in the hospital or recovering from heavy duty and or life altering stuff you owe nobody guilt let alone a reply that is prompt but you do need to figure out where you are going, priorities, interests, passions and if this guy you liked fits in to any of it.
I am sure you appreciated him and that he's a great person but he may not be your person for the next stage of life and that's okay and has nothing to do with gratitude. You need to talk to him about all of this. Nobody said it would be easy but you both need to figure out where things are going.
|
16/f
Okay so firstly i have a big chance of getting cancer - both my grandmas have had breasy cancer, one died of stomach/colon cancer and my grandfather died of brain cancer and my one aunt alao died of cancer and my mom gets lumps or whatever in her breasts that she gets cut out alot.
For this whole year ive always been either constipated or have diareah never normal. I get nauseas all the time since 2012/2013 like everyday and i vomit alot. When i eat i feel sick
Could it be that? (link)
|
Odds are you aren't dying and even though family members may have had those illnesses doesn't mean you ever will. I would toss the belief and fear about that aside.
I am pretty sure your problem lies with diet. Is there any new foods, oils, deep fried stuff, cheeses, lactose that could be causing constipation and runs on a loop because they haven't been discovered as causing this issue? I would start there and try to rule out X, Y, Z foods or oils. Junk foods like chips and pop can do it and sauces of any kind.
More than likely you have IBS or irritated bowel problem as all of the symptoms you listed are direct symptoms of this. The only other thing I can think of is celiac disease which is a royal pain as your body no longer tolerates gluton.
You need to see your doctor and have him/her isolate the problem and remedy it. It's really nothing major. I'm not a doctor but do know you aren't dying or suffering from something that will do you in.
|
|
am having testicle problem since 10 years ago,one of my testicle has been effected,the remaining one is rotating everyday. it gives me so many pains,chest pain,waist pain,stomach pain,joint pain,weakness of the body.the big problem is that my penis has become like small kid own. (link)
|
See your doctor. It's called Testicle Torsion and all of the symptoms correlate.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/190514.php
|
|