about

I'm not going to sugarcoat anything for you. I'm going to give you advice that lets you know the reality of the situation. I'll make sure you know everything, the good and the bad. I'm here to target the reality, not the moral. I don't care about the "right" thing to do. I care about the "best" thing to do. Send me a question, and face the reality.

advice

Ok,
I have a boyfriend BUT the thing is that I am not allowed to have one. I don't know how long my relationship will last before my mom and dad find out...but I really like the guy. If I tell them I have a bf they will freak out...I really don't know what to do! PLEASE help!
(14/f)

there are two choices. the black and the white.

Tell them

Don't tell them.

And the safer choice would be to tell them, but personally i wouldn't want to tell my parents if i was in a jam like this,now matter how morally right it is. so your best bet is to find your parents weak spot.

Find what will make them really see you as mature. And keep pushing and pushing at it. Like a good debate. Also find out WHY they don't want you to have a boyfriend. make sure your boyfriend knows about your situation. so if it comes to the point where you have to convince them that he isn't some sort of rapist, he knows what they're looking for.

But even so, it's pretty awkward telling your parents that you went against their wishes. so here's my realist advice of the day. DON'T TELL THEM UNLESS YOU HAVE TO. try to find a way to make them let you have a boyfriend, before telling them you have a boyfriend. If you really can't convince them to let you, then perhaps it's time they met him.

if you have him around enough (make sure to say he's just a friend) they'll get used to him and trust him. so when you finally convince them to let you date, he'll be their first choice. also, that way it won't be strange if they see you around him. you could always say you were just hanging with your friends.

but of course, if you want some advice from a parental type morally obsessed person, i'll just say you can tell them and hope for the best, but i would go for the solution before. mostly because i would never be able to bring myself to tell my parents that.

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Hey there!
I'm running for Class officer of my school. My speech is here.
Is there anything I should add or take away. Or any humorous things I could add?



For those of you who don’t know me, my name is (my name). Last year, I made a huge mistake during my speech. My mistake was that I bored you to death. This year is going to be different. I’m not going to stand here and tell you that “I’m the best candidate pick me pick me.” No, that’s not my style. I’m going to keep it short and sweet.

Class Officers are some of the most important positions of our class. Wouldn’t you want someone friendly, mature, responsible, and willing to listen to represent your class?

Freshmen year flew by. 1/4th of high school is basically done. Most of us spent it exploring the school, getting to know peers, and experimenting with clubs and sports. Ask yourself this: Was there anything you wish to change? Is there a new club you want to add? Was there something missing that you want your opinion voiced about? If you said yes to any of those questions, realize this: it’s about time we have some fun and by electing me I can assure u we will. By electing me, you will see a difference, I promise you that.

So, I leave you with this: Vote (my name)for Sophomore Class Officer, and you’re guaranteeing yourself a memorable year.

very nice. the opening was perfect.

you seperate yourself from the others and that's good especially for the people who don't really know the candidates that well.

i personally like the beginning the most. but if you want something humorous, perhaps you should use something a person used when he ran for something. i don't remember what. i don't remember who. but i do remember i voted for him.

he began his speech with "I have a dream..."

that triggered laughter from the audience and the attention of voters. but i think your speech is just as if not more wonderful. keep your speech, stand out and make an impression, and even if the person doesn't know you, they'll vote for you.

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I have been best friends with these two people for years now. Us three have always been good friends. But recently they have met someone else who they have been hanging out with a lot. She is a really nice girl, but it seems like my two best friends are trying to replace me with her because whenever she will do something that I do, like tell a funny story or wear my hair a certain way, they will always laugh more with her, or notice that she wore her hair differently. Every single day I make a huge effort to include myself, but it seems like they always end up with the other girl. Since us four have PE together, they always go to the other girl to be partners with. I have talked to both of my friends numerous times about this problem, but they both don't seem to make an effort to include me. I really wish things could go back to old times because we had so much fun together last year, and I don't feel ready to give up on this because us three have so much fun together.
Please help me!!

"talk to them about including you!"

that is the exact advice i would NOT give. you've obviously given you best try.

so your having a difficult time feeling included, there are several things you could do. take your pick.

1. Try to get to know the other girl. perhaps when you and her become closer friends, you'll feel included because you won't be "competing" with her. You know what they say " if you can't beat them, join them."

But that won't solve your problem of going back to old times.

2. Organize a little get-together for just the three of you. with the other girl not there, you three will be able to hang out like you used to, from my experience my friends act alot like their old selves when around me without their new friends around. They would pay more attention to you and it'll bring you closer and closer together. If this works, try organzing several, so that the relationship between the three of you becomes stronger.

Life goes on and you'll have to go on with it. It's still nice to hold on to what's dear to you, but remember you have a whole life ahead of you.

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Well me and my two best friends just to let you know how close we are: we are like crazy and we are always together, i mean i love hanging out with them and everything. Out of our class we are definately the prettiest and most fun to be around. People throughout our school know us as the BIG not cause we are big but because of our initials. I mean we agree on the same guys and everything i swear we are related but we arent. So here is the problem: We went to an FFA conventionand we were all totally looking for guys i mean what else would we be doing. But see Lindsey is the only one that has a cell phone so we always use her number and well of course they all like Lindsey right away because they got HER phone number but then if they are hott we like all fall in love with them but like i am usually the one who doesnt really care. And well this time the guy is calling me all the time and i think i am starting to like him but i dont want to tell my best friends about it because who knows what would happen. i mean i want to tell them but they are always saying no he likes me and they are fighting over who they likes between them and they act like just because i never argue i dont like him but secretly i do and i think he likes me too. but what i want to know is should i tell them that i like them and hope that they support me or should i let them find out on their own. but i would feel really bad about not telling them everything because we always say everything that happens and i dont want it to seem like i am lying to them! help? and if it matters i really really like this guy

whew.

the obviously "right" thing to do would be to tell them.

But then why would you be on this site? So i'm going to give you some advice from a realist. Advice that may not be the "right" thing.

You know you'll have to eventrually tell them. But wait for when they're currently obsessed with another guy.

Or tell them about the guy's relationship with you. not about the guy. don't say how gorgeous or sweet or wonderful he is. don't make him seem appealing. make him seem taken.

and if they truly are your friends, they should easily see how much you like him. if that doesn't work, they should at least see that he already likes you.

personally i think the second choice i gave you is better. coming clean will relieve you of much guilt, but talking about relationship first makes sure they don't fall in love with the guy before they find out you like him too.

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i have this friend named sarah. except i dont think shes my friend anymore and heres why: me and sarah have been friends for quite a few years. but this year theres a problem. all of a sudden sarah becomes literally OBSESSED with this girl named marie. now dont get me wrong, im not one of those girls that gets jelous when my friends have new friendds but... sarah like gives me and my other friend alyssa the details on every moment of marie's life. this is the typical coversation sarah has with us at the lunch table: "OMG, marie is going out with nick! omg i am soo happy! she always liked him! marie is so good at getting boys!" or "MArie calls me up all the time and tells me about nick. oh yeah and we watched a video together yesterday it was so fun" Im sorry but I DONT CARE. and neither does alyssa. sarah never aks me about ME or never has real conversations. its usually just about marie or something else about HER. how can me and alyssa tell sarah in a nice way that we DONT CARE ABOUT FRICKIN MARIE.

it depends mostly on your personality.

Show you true feelings. I usually advise AGAINST being all "tell her about you feelings" cause that's pointless advice, we both know we won't do that. otherwise we would've have any relationship trouble.

whenever she talks about marie. You can ignore her, mutter "that's nice." or "whatever." show how you really feel about these conversations about marie. or even better, change the subject whenever she tries to turn it towards Marie. especially talk about something you did. something that involves you and not marie.

make her understand that your her friend too. and that you have a life too.

if that doesn't work, you can always risk it a bit and try to "give her a taste of her own medicine" for example when she talks about marie. you and alyssa talk about something you two did. it's not meant to be spiteful. it's meant for her to understand that you don't care.

but i don't really recommend the second one. i might do it with my friends if that happens. but i don't know what kind of friends you have, so i don't know whether it would be effective or not.

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My niece is a High School graduate who dropped out of college in her freshman year. Although, she is not a "genius" she is probably an average student. She says she quit school since she was "bored". Since then, she has gotten 3 different jobs (sales clerk or receptionist) and has been fired from all 3. She keeps blaming the company. But, I think it is her attitude or something she is doing. Should I tell my sister that her daughter needs to go back to college? Should I tell her that instead of blaming the company, that perhaps it is something that my niece is doing (or not doing) that is causing her to be fired? I think my sister is in denial over her daughter.
For example here is an edited version of an email I got about my niece's latest firing (names have been changed):
Susan called me to tell me that the boss of her new job- fired her. It doesn't make much sense what he told her- he said that she doesn't meet their exception for growth in their firm. That they are expanding and she doesn't fit with that plan. Didn't they know they were expanding before they hired her? Why waste their time and
hers?

Susan said she didn't have much to do- the
phones weren't busy and they told her that they would give her other stuff to do. So- I don't know what went on. Its nuts.

Oh well, I think she was bored anyway since there wasn't much to do. Everything happens for a reason and there is something better for her
elsewhere.

Thanks,
DB

There may be something better for her, but everyone has to start somewhere. it's her future. and you need to let your sister understand the importance of keeping a job and moving up in life.

but the problem of confronting your sister about it might not be the best solution, though it may seem the "right" thing to do, it isn't the easiest.

Remember this is her daughter. So instead of telling her it's her daughters fault, which would instantly put you on the "enemies" side, try helping your niece find jobs and pursue careers.

try to corner your niece. (that sounds a little mean..) but get her jobs that could not be boring. jobs that require lots of concentration. Also when you help her fins jobs, try to help her make the right decision in her life. Try to suggest going back to college, saying that if college really was too boring, perhaps she should take extra classes, that way, she would be too busy to be bored.

And maybe then, your sister will see what's best for her daughter. the reality, not the sugarcoated version.

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