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Q: ok so i like this guy a lot but right now i'm not with him and he's talking to someone else. But my real thing is this other guy that i don't tlak to much but he is really cool. He's sweet and he's a really good kid. he's cute too. well i was wondering about how i should start a conversation with him. He's kinda shy. He plays football, basketball, and baseball. He's like the all around american guy. So how should i get him to notice me? how should i start a conversation with him? and about he other guy i like should i wait on him and not take my chances with this guy? idon't know waht to do so help me out. GUYS ANSWER THIS TOO PLEASE!

It's really up to you...but here are some questions you can ask yourself about each guy to see which one you like most, READY!?

1. Is this guy cute?
2. It his guy kind, and sweet?
3. Will this guy do what ever when ever for you EVEN in front of his guy friends or any other friends?
4. Is her outgoing and not mad all the time?
5. Can he make you smile, laugh, and make you feel good about yourself?
6. !!!! Do you think you should give yourself more time to make sure your making the right decision?

LOVE: Takes time, but once it is established you can make into the most beautiful thing anybody cannot see, except you and your lover! ;)

Again, it's really up to you. I can't tell you which one to pick because I don't know them, and I might have a different idea about each one than you...

____________So you want to talk to him?___________
Simply start a small talk conversation. Smile at him in the hall way. Get to know each other before actually thinking about getting serious. Any time you have a chance, say something, just don't say something stupid! (lol)

BUT ACTUALLY!!! You could say something stupid and laugh at it, you should always make him feel like he can do make a fool of himself in front of you and you wouldn't care! :)

So, GOOD LUCK!!!

-AJ

Q: Well I have unique friends and we're totally different which is why I like them because if someone is interested in the same things I do then I feel like there's a competition to like what ever it is more and I start to hate them just for liking it. I don't know why, it's just hard for me to open up to people because i've had a really hard life. Now it's down to three friends but resently I found out that they like this thing that I really like and now I'm like having a hating feeling towards them and I know it's not right but I can't stop it..

Try not to think about it so much. When your friends are speaking of the things that you really like, just listen but you don't have to say anything unless they ask you a question.

Another idea is that you could just change the subject.

Another thing is that you could actually talk to your friends about your problem. If they really are your friends, then they would understand. Maybe you guys could come to an agreement. :D

-AJ

Q: So this guy , who is one of my good friends but isn't that good looking like at all. (Not trying to be mean) was talking about how he was getting roses for this girl for vday, and then he was like so..do you like roses? and I was like uh.. yeah..? am I just being paranoyed (sp?) Or is he getting me roses for vday?!!! I really don't want to have him give me something..but I don't want to be like oh uhh..thanks.. how do I show him that I don't like him without being mean?! he suffers from depression, so I really REALLY don't want him to get sad if I don't like him. WHAT TO DO?!

He totally likes you. OR he is just a really good guy friend like ME! (j/p) ANYWAY, if he does get you roses just accept them and respond, "Wow! You got me roses!? Thank you so much!"

Unfortunately for you, he probably might ask you to be his girl friend. He will probably be VERY nervous, but you just have to say is, "I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Please don't take it the wrong way or anything because you are an awesome person, but I am just not ready for a boyfriend right now."

Be sincere and respectful. He will accept it, and move on...hopefully. But you never know.

BUT!!!! This only falls into place if you are the girl he is going to give those roses too!

-AJ

Q: Okay there is this guy I like and yeah he dosn't know I like him and tomorrow is valentines day. I don't know what to do or say. I've liked him for such a long time! I hardly talk to him. If this helps I'm 13/f. Just any advice is appreciated. I don't want to tell him I like him, just little hints I guess. It isn't really hard to talk to him but it would be a little weird to just go up and talk to him. And I don't have many classes with him too. Thanx!

Start with small talk. If you have ANY classes together you could ask about the homework. You could always just say, "Hey! Do you know (one of your friends names)? That's cool, I know (that person) too."

You should always smile when he walks by, and when you can do the cheek to cheek kiss. Show that you know he's there.

Don't try too hard to make yourself noticeable. He will catch on.

And as for tomorrow. Don't ask him to be your Valentine. Just say things like, "Do you have a Valentin?" Make him a little nervous and then say, "Just Chill! LOL!"

AND REMEMBER!!! Always act like yourself. Only then will people love you for who you truly are! :D

-AJ

Q: please help.
i will try to make this short for you guys haha. My best friend who i've been friends with since kindergarten got her first boyfriend about a month ago.(we're freshman) Yeah, it's cute and everything, but holy mother of god it can get annoying. It's Sean this, Sean that (her bf). It's non stop details about them and how awesome everything is. All days it's "has he been looking at me...do you think he likes my shirt? what about my hair?" goodness... And then i have to hear about all the stuff he says to her about him loving her and stuff. and she sends me long emails and crap with buttloads of info about their conversations and i cannot take it. I've addressed her politely about it and we're open about things with one another, but she won't stop. IMAGINE NON-STOP QUESTIONS LIKE "ok if sean and my relationship were weighed on a scale on how much he likes me...would our relationship be a sumo wrestler or an annorexic girl?" Yeah. I ignored that one. And it sucks because i just broke up with someone recently and i hate that everything is shoved in my face like that. I am not in anyway jealous, and i know that because i am secure with myself and i do not wish to be in any sort or "relationship" right now. Help please. There are no signs that this mindless chatter between she and an annoyed, attempting-to-ignore-her-me , is going to die down anytime soon.

p.s. i am sorry it is so long. i know i said it wasnt going to be so long! =/

LOL! Don't worry about it being to long! :D

ANYWAY. First of all your BFF is just excited about having her first boyfriend and she wants everything to turn out perfect, and she wants to BLURT it out to everyone.

I think that you should listen to her, and then respond. THEN, you can try to change the subject. Or you could just say, "Listen, you sound like you have a lot to say about Sean, maybe you should write it all in a journal or something!" (unless she already has...)

You have to understand that she is new at this kind of thing and that many things that she says could sometimes be repetitive and NONSENSE! (lol) When she is saying something that is annoying you ask about a class she's taking. Or say something like, "Did you know that Jimmy farted in class today!?" Try to make her laugh and/or try to change the subject to something she would like to talk about. (BESIDES Sean! LOL!)

Your gonna always have to listen to what your BFF has to say because that's what friends are for. She trusts you and she looks up to you, THAT'S why she's always saying things to you. I bet she asks you a lot of questions like if it's ok to say this or to do that. Right?

So try that and see what happens. ;)

PS: This message was REALLY long! :D LOL!

-AJ

Q: Well I don't know. You see, i'm 13. This boy has been my best friend for about two years and we've been together for a year. It's nice and everything. We are real close and know almost everything about eachother and everything. He's different from the rest of the guys i've gone out with. Don't think I am a slut or anything but we are both comfortable being naked around eachother. He trusts me and I trust him. No, this is not my first relationship. Anyhow, he's always there when i need him. Well, he's actually a nice boy and won't take advantage of me or anything like that or trying to get me to have sex with him. I know i'm young and yes i am still a virgin. Most of you are probably thinking "teen love dont have sex with him" Of course i'll be on birth control and have a condem and everything but i'm not sure if i should give up my virginity so young. So what do you people out there think about the whole situation?

If you love him, and he loves you and you BOTH are comfortable with it...then do it. Of course you are going to have protection and all that but if you think it's love then go for it. BUT!!!!

I believe that I will never have sex before I get married because to me it's an intimate thing that should only be done when you and your partner are ABSOLUTELY sure of it, for example MARRIAGE!

You can do what you like. But if you really thought about it. There is a million other guys that you could have sex with. But don't you want your first time to be with someone who has VOWED to be your husband FOR EVA!?

-AJ

Q: heyy, im a 15 (nearly 16) year old girl. im having baddd problems with both my boyfriend and my Friends. i know the expression "Chicks before Dicks" but that isnt working. i dont hang out with my friends as much i'd like to. and i hang out with my boy every weekend (his grandma lives across the street and he lives 30 mins away) so every time i make plans with my friends on the weekends he cant help but to get upset. i love spending time with him, but i need friends, you know. i dont know if i should break it off. i've been with him for 9 months now. i've been trying to work it out but it's not working. my friends dont like him either. they think he is trouble. bhe is also one of my best friend ex.

You should always find time for your boyfriend AND your friends. Try and hang out with both of them together. Like one day you could go to the mall together. Don't listen to what other people say about your boyfriend either. If you love him and he loves you then that's all that matters. Just make sure that he is what you want, and that he doesn't get you into any trouble and that you both are safe and happy! :D

-AJ

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I will answer EVERY question that I am asked. If you would like to email me privately, please do so at... askajforadvice@aim.com ...I will answer ALL questions willfully and to the best of my ability! :)