about

Hey everyone! My name is Mariah, but you can call me uniqueme. :) I have been told a lot that I offer really great advice..in any subject. I do this on my free time because I enjoy making people feel like a load has been lifted off their shoulders. So please feel free to ask me whatever you want. I won't bite. :)
Also PLEASE GO TO MY ADVICE SITE:
www.openmymind.yolasite.com
it is fairly new. :)

advice

22/f.

I'll make this to the point. I was browsing my boyfriend of 7 months' Facebook, and discovered that he is still friends with girls on Facebook who he has dated (not been in a relationship with) Is this right? I don't have anyone I've ever been remotely involved with on Facebook anymore, but before I speak to him about it, I just wanted some opinions/thoughts on the matter. BTW, I'm not angry and don't intend to approach him with anger, just curiousity.
Thanks!

Well, it could be just because he wants to continue being there friends or maybe because he forgot he had them on there. Or because he's curious about what they are up to these days.
I honestly thing you should talk to him, calmly and express your feelings.
It isn't wrong that he still has his ex girlfriends on his facebook, but unless he is their friends, there is not reason to keep them on there.
Good luck!

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Well everyone thinks that my 7th grade science teacher is Lesbian she talks like a man and dresses like one and her fb pages looks like it. Sheee even looks like it. Also she isn't in a relationship and she likes rock music and electric guitars and well guy stuff. Plus me and my friend just got on her profile and looked at her pictures and she looked well lesbo. So I was just wondering do u think she is? how else can u tell...?...it feels akward being around her.

Well, first of all, don't feel awkward being around her. If she is a lesbian, there is nothing wrong with that. :)
If you think she may be interested in you or your friends if she is a lesbian, don't think like that. She is a professional. Unless she physically touches you somewhere, there is no need to worry about it.
You can't really guess if someone is a lesbian or not, and there is no way to tell. Sometimes girls that are lesbians dress VERY preppy. All depends on if you want to be a guy in this senario.
I'd say, don't judge someone just because they dress like a guy or talks like a guy. It could be just the way she is :)

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if your period just ended and you started your birth control over and the next day had sex and he ejaculates in you what are your chances of being pregnant?
especially if you miss your pill two days in a row and your sort of getting a period.

You should never forget your pills. And if you do, you should wait at least 30 days to have sex when you get back on your pills.
There is always a chance that you may be pregnant after you have sex, but I highly doubt you are. But you can also get your period when your pregnant (which is extremely rare).
One: You a condom even though you have birth control. Birth control doesn't guarentee 100% protection.
Two: I'd take a few birth control tests in a few weeks or go to the doctor to see if you're pregnant.
Good luck,
Uniqueme.

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Ok I'm 15 f never had a boyfriend and have great friends and a normal person in rankings in highschool haha well anyways I did this group thing in the summer and I became the closest I ever been with a guy and I still like him to this day but I blewit in the summer I didn't take every chance I had I could have kissed him but I felt like I was waiting I don't know what's wrong with me but I just have a lot of feelings and usually everything is my fault like my dad is trying to book a flight for me and some friends but there's this other girl who butted in and I told her the dates when we were going and now her dad is callig my dad and she's 14 so she can't fly without a parent or whatever. I just told my dad forget bout her and he said it's your fault do it urslef. And it made me realize can't do anything right I'm stupid I'm an average grade student and I mess things up a lot I just want to be happy because I've been crying like every night because I want to be with a guy that I like and I think things way to much I expect more but I'm not getting anything I just wanna be happy I regret a lot of stuff I'm so alone:(

First of all, never regret everything. In the moment you may feeling sad and worthless all the time, but what good does it do if you fret on things?
Remember, that that guy could have kissed you as well, it isn't all on you.
You are just scared and you haven't figured out how to open your walls yet.
Your dad shouldn't have said that to you. A lot of the time, parents say things wrong. You can't change them, but you can work through it.
People make mistakes, sometimes a lot of mistakes, and you can either fix them or you can go through them.
I am in your same position at the moment, and I cry a lot. Though i found another way to make myself not cry, you should do the same. Busy yourself with something else that makes you feel at ease. Draw, listen to music, talk to your friends.
If you are really alone, you should think about talking with a counselor. (maybe at school or talk to your dad about getting you into therapy). I know it seems like you will be considered crazy if you do it, but you aren't crazy. A lot of teenagers have therapists to help them work through things so they don't have to go about things alone.
Don't forget you are NOT alone. People are out there like you.
If you need to talk, just message me on my email. You can find it on my advice column.

Good luck.
"People always ask me what went wrong, thinking everything that happened is something easy to talk about. I promised myself that if I ever told anyone, I’d say, maybe everything went wrong. Maybe everything went right. All I know is, there are people and then there are those who walk around like Robots. Doing everything society wants them to do." -my book: defying pain.

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My girlfriend and i have been together over 7 months and well she says she wants to more sexually im nervous i havent done anything with a girl before and i have a really small penis im worried about that she might not like me anymore im nervous about going further or having sex with her because im not sure if i wll be able to pleasure her or not so what do i do? can you pleasure a girl with a small penis?

Of course you can pleasure a girl with a small penis. And if she isn't pleasured there are other ways you can pleasure her of course. Don't worry about it so much.
Just be honest with her, and tell her about what you are feeling and how you don't have any experience.
If you aren't ready to have sex, don't yet.
Thats okay, don't feel pressured.
And if she laughs at your penis or don't like you anymore, then she isn't worth it. Don't fret about it too much.
Everything will work out just fine. :)

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Okay i am 15 years old and am a female. And i was hanging out with my friends and i met my friends friend Donny. He turns 19 next week. He has a son who turns 2 in october. i've hung out with him starting back a few months ago. But i do like him. Which i know is really bad...but no one can help feelings. And my bestfriend is trying to figure out if he likes me back...everyone thinks him and i would be cute together but there is many faults.. age for one. 2. the son. 3. some of the friends we share i am not aloud to hangout with. 4. he has some issues at home. but i cant help but be attracted to him. I just want to hear peoples opinions on how you guys think this would work out. Should i go for it, or should i drop it?

My sister had a similar situation. The guy is 25 and she just turned 18 in october.
First of all, before doing ANYTHING, you wait until you are 15. At least he cant go to jail for you being underage,
but your parents can still send him to jail for sagitary rape until you are 18.
I'd be careful. My sister's boyfriend also has a son that is two.
It will be hard on her, so I'm guessing it'll be fucking hard as HELL for you.
I'd wait a little while, until you are more mature and can handle a baby, and things, if you really want to go for him.

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Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half have been going through a really rough time in our relationship. We have been trying to take some time apart in hopes that it will help. Unfortunetly it has done the exact opposite because he has been thinking that i am going around with some other guy. I haven't though, i have barely left my house. And now I have permanently destroyed the relationship i think because I completely freaked out and lost it. i told him that i did sleep with some one even though i didnt. i dont know why i even said that to him but now i dont know what to do. Is there anything at this point that i can even do?

Yes you can tell him the truth.
Also, tell him that you did it because you were pissed that he would even think you would screw around with some other guy, and wanted to show him how much it hurt to be accused and be TOLD that you cheated. Because that is why you did it, right?
If that doesn't help, then give it some time.
He'll either come around or move on, you'll never know unless you try.

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So last night I was at a dance it was kinda boring but the my group went to dinner and around ten I decided to text the guy I liked who said he couldn't come to the dance bc he switched schools like a week before the dance and so I went some other guy but I couldn't stop thinking about the guy I liked so I texted him and the whole night no response and I felt stupid now this morning I wake up and it says he texted me back at 2 am well I fell asleep at one so now I feel even more stupid what and when should I text him bc last time a while ago I texted him back in the morning around 12 and he didn't respond after that should I wait till tonight or what?

You should just text him back, otherwise he might get the same impression as you. Say you're sorry you didn't text him back because you fell asleep, asked him how his night was, etc.

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15/f

I get surprised really easy. If someone comes up behind me and just taps me on the shoulder I jump, if they put their arm around me a yelp a bit from surprise, if they poke me in the waist and I'm mid step I actually go weak in the knees sometimes and they have to catch me. Depending on how bad they scared me, I may or may not scream. It's not really loud unless it's on the worst scares... Either way though, it has to be annoying to the people around me. And it's a bit annoying that I can't stop it. It's just a natural reaction.

You see, my friends, especially the guys, try to scare me like this all time time and they just laugh and keep at it like it's not annoying but funny to them. So I don't know if my friends just find this to be an endearing trait so I'm ok or what.

Well you can't really help that you get surprised easily.
But, yes, they are just having fun. Don't take it personally.
If you WANT it to stop, just prepare for someone to try and scare you. Just tell yourself "I'm gonna turn around and someone is gonna poke me." and it shouldn't seem so surprising.

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Why does friendship hurt?

If you are speaking about with a guy and a girl: it hurts because the friends are kidding to themselves that they aren't madly in love.
If you are speaking about just regular friends: it hurts because:
1: You guys aren't the right friends for each other. In that case, you should find people who don't hurt you.
2: You guys are misunderstanding each other, and should talk to each other. If this doesn't help, seek number 1 again.
3: You guys know your friendship won't last forever.
If you are actually friends with someone, it shouldn't hurt much. Unless they betray you. In that case, screw them and find others.

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I sent my girlfriend a text message. In the text message, I asked "Are we
still boyfriend and girlfriend." A couple of minutes later, I didn't get a
response, so I sent another message saying "I would really appreciate a
response." She sent this reply " yes David..... I have to say its kind of
getting old having to tell you over and over again.. I m not sure why you
worry so much.. I have a class now..so I'll talk to you later "

Question: She used excessive periods after saying “yes david”. She used
five periods after that sentence. She only used two periods in her other
sentences. She put extra space between "yes david....." and the next
sentence. When I copy and pasted the exchange of texts into advicenators,
the extra space didn’t show up, but it was there in the original message.
You can’t see the extra space here, but it was in the original message.
She didn't use this extra space between her other sentences. What do the
five dots in "Yes David....." mean? I understand they mean she is annoyed,
but do they directly express annoyance or do they mean that something was
unwritten and it is up to the reader to assume what was supposed to be
written?

Oh wow, David, you are thinking this out THOROUGHLY. Don't. You are pushing her away because of it. The dots mean a few things: she is annoyed, she is tired of repeating herself, and she won't repeat herself again.
If you weren't her boyfriend she'd make it CLEAR. Don't obsess over her or else you'll lose her okay?
Maybe something happened in your past where you are afraid a girl will leave you, but this girl doesn't seem like she is going to leave any time soon, otherwise she would have told you off ten text messages ago.
Don't ask her again, or you're through bud.
.....

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I have this experience recently. And I felt something. My sister said it's deja vu but my mom said that it's jamais vu. The feeling is that I feel that I've experienced it before and I feel like crying. Is it deja vu, jamais vu, or something else?

I've never heard of Jamais vu, I think it might be made up, but I dunno.
If they are real, they probably mean the same thing.
What you are feeling is deja vu, like you've been at a place somewhere before and are living it over.
I get that quite frequently. When you first start feeling it it can be pretty confusing and scary, but you should embrace and say "Oh wow, cool! I know what is gonna happen next!" Usually deja vu doesn't happen when something HORRIBLE is going to happen, only when minor, simple things that don't matter to YOU personally.
So don't cry because it happens to everyone. And i mean EVERYONE. Some more than others.
Good luck!

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there are so many personalities that i wish to acquire. but when i look at it from a big picture, i think its impossible. it might be a little confusing, sorry. i talked to my mom about it and she said i should just be myself and be who I am and not try to be anyone else.

i GET THAT. i'm not trying to change myself and be somebody else.. i'm just trying to try different personalities out and be different.

for example. i want to have multiple personalities like bad-ass, innocent and shy, loud and social, artistic.

i'm so sorry if this is confusing. i just dont know how to put it in words. maybe this will help. i love people watching. i love observing things. (doesnt just have to be people) when i see someone interesting, i pick out the things i like about them. In the movie "i am number four" i saw the "number 6" girl and thought wow she is so bad ass i want to be just like her. i started looking for leather jackets and tried to have the same attitude as her. i really like the quality of bad-ass. i want people to see me as bad-ass. I see other girls in my school who look pretty, girly, and innocent. I think to myself- i want to be like her. I want to have a girly side and look innocent and beautiful. then i wake up earlier some days and put on more makeup than usual and wear girly clothes. i feel good about myself. I'l see another girl who is very artistic and loves photography and kinda like a hippie with the whole peace look. I bought a bag with a peace symbol on it and i even bought a new camera to motivate me to get interested in photography. (which i am interested in)

do you get my point? I feel like i want to have all these different personalities. I dont want to be seen as just one personality girl. I want to be different things. i want to be bad-ass a few days and then have my girly side, but still be artistic and geeky.

also, i wouldnt be changing who i am FYI. i'm still me. i still have my personality which makes me up. i would just attach more personalities to me. its not like i'm removing who i am. its still there inside me. i just want to be diverse and get involved with different personalities.

this isn't really a question haha sorry. i guess i'm just asking for advice? any opinions on what you think? thanks!

Well it wouldn't be called a personality if you aren't changing who YOU are, it is just a look.
I say you go with all three every day, if that is what you
want.
Where make up and make your face look innocent (maybe even your hair)
Get clothes that make you bad ass (and do your hair bad ass maybe, if not innocent)
Get (like you have) a bunch of piece things, and bracelets that stand out. Start taking photography or art lessons, and things like that. :)
Good luck.

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Okay, here's the problem. There is this girl named Jordan, & she was in my homeroom (7th grade) & so... like we started becoming good friends. She came over & my mom didnt really like her & so she said tht i shouldn't get to attached to her. Well, i did. So we went back & forth being friends & enemies. I got jealous the first time b/c she had her bf in our homeroom & mine was in the other pod (on the other side of the school) so i didnt ever see him. We had a pep rally at school & her & her bf were holding hands & i was jealous b/c i couldnt hold my bfs hand. & i called her bad names over txt. So after a while, we became friends again, but a WEEK l8r, i found out from one of my most HONEST FRIENDS EVER, tht Jordan hated my guts & called me a bitch. So i went off on her & i was like if you hate me guts so much then fine i wont b your friend. & she lied to me & said tht she didnt do tht & this boy had proof tht she did tht. He told me she did.

So, my question: do i need to become her friend again, b nice to her but not get so attached? OR do i just need to not be her friend & find new ones... BETTER ONES!
Thanks.

You should find new friends. It's mental abuse what her and YOU are doing to each other. You deserve better friends that aren't two-faced.
You'll find better friends that will give you positive feedback and not call you a bitch behind your back.
But don't find guy friends. They suck.
:)
Good luck.

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i have this guy i like he was my best friend i never told he that but he always told i was his he would text me everyday over winter break but once we got back to school it stoped and he started ignoreing me and not sitting with me and stuff like that people would say he liked me but i wasnt sure and know im certin but i like like but im not sure he does we dont really talk but idk what to do

You should go up and talk to him. If he was your best friend, it shouldn't be a problem, right?
Either that or text him telling him how you feel. Ask him why he is being such a dick after leading you on like that. Tell him not to do that to a girls heart, because it isn't right.
My advice: don't like him, or even love him even.
He isn't worth it if he totally ignores you after you guys talk for HOURS on end everyday.
Good luck.

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Hi I'm Bailee and I'm a cutter, I am 14. I have cut for..two years and I have recently stopped. I, for the longest time, cut heavily. My arms so badly scared that I can barley fine any unscared skin. I want to know if there is a way to get rid of them so I can wear short sleeved shirts. I do realize that I'm gonna have to live with them for the for the rest of my life. I don't want any bad talk or put downs.

Bailee~

I say you should email me, because I am in rehab from cutting. I've been clean since two days before thanksgiving of this year. Which is SOOOO difficult. But anyways,
there is not way to really get rid of scars, until they get lighter really. You could try putting makeup on them (if they are that dark), but not too much otherwise people will automatically look at your arms.
You could try scar cream. All you really have to do is go to a local drug store or meijers or something, and find something. But that might take a while.
Don't feel bad about your scars, learn from them. Chances are, yes, you probably won't be able to wear much short things, but you have something that you live with. And that makes you strong.
:) I hope the best for you.

(my email in on my advicenators column)
-M.
*Supporter of the To Write Love on Her Arms foundation.

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I live in the US and shop at department stores like Macys, Kohls, and Jcpennys. When it comes to jeans, size 9 is a tight fit, yet size 11 is a little loose. I shop in the juniors department, where sizes are only odd, but I feel like I would be a perfect size ten. 9/10's feel like 9.5's to me, and if they aren't strech, they aren't working. What stores could I shop at, or what department and size should i get/go to, to get pants that finally fit right?!

I would try TJ Maxx. I'm sure you have one around there. They have a lot of different sizes, plus they can sometimes be really cheap, but I love shopping there. So try that, and if that doesn't work, I'd try target, they have a lot of those smaller sizes like a size 9.

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Female.

It's been a while now, but for some reason my pelvis itches? Maybe it's due to dry skin because I notice that whenever I scratch, some dry skin appears? It's really annoying. I tried lotion, it helps for a while, but then it starts itching again. It's nowhere close to my vagina, it's just where the hair grows. It's above the vaginal lips. Is it possibly due to sex? But I haven't had sex for a while, it stops itching. When I shave, it doesn't itch... Until when I'm sleeping. What's wrong?? What can I do to make it stop itching?

ah ;) i think i know the problem. Here's one of my theories:
1: If you shave your vaginal area, that could be the problem. When the hair grows back it'll rub up against your skin causing it to start itching. IF you do shave, I'd leave some hair on to make sure you don't get that uncomfortable feeling anymore.
2: If you DON'T shave, it's practically impossible to get a dry vagina, as usually vaginas are never dry. But, i'd seek a doctor if that is the case. Talk to them about it. You don't have to show them anything, just a few questions will do.
If could be do to sex, if you have an STD. But if you are not showing any other STD signs (Bumps around the vagina area, discharge never stopping, hurting when you pee,etc) chances are that it isn't that, but it could be.
:) good luck!

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You guys probably have read me recent questions and you can tell that I'm seriously depressed. I'm 15Years Old , and a female . Like not so long ago today I just wrote a page in a half on how I feel in the inside of me... And while I was ready it I stop and a HUGGEEE break down, and was crying until I gotten a headache , and no I can talk to no one about this SADLY ! I'm giving up , and tried of being strong Help ?

Email me. I have my email on my advice column. But otherwise, you just should go see a counselor if you don't want to talk to me about anything. I have the same probably. I was diagnosed with manic depression. What i do it try centering myself before I cry. Also, if you cry everyday, it'll help relieve your overwhelming headaches from crying. I used to cry everyday, and when i stopped, everytime I cried and had a breakdown i'd get a HUGE headache.
I know crying everyday doesn't sound like fun, but it helps if you don't want to seek any help.

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what is are courses of virgina sores?

1: could be just an infection from something you did or just something natural.
2: You could have an STD.
If i were you, and if you DO have something wrong, I'd see a doctor so it doesn't get any worse.

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