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K so i have an oily T zone, inbetween my brows and along my nose and i was wondering if anybody can suggest some good skin cleansers that can get rid of oily skin cuz i usually get zits and what not around that area and its annoying to take care of, haha. thanks, ill rate high.

Skin Care,

I think Proactive Products are excellent to help with preventing acne and balancing oily skin. Their products are formulated to prevent acne and excessive oil in the problem areas.

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I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months, I honestly do love her. Whenever I tell her I love you she says I know like it's not a big deal or something, now whenver I tell her I love you she says I think you love me for the wrong reason, it hurts me when she says things like that, not once has she told me she loves me back. Am I just wasting my time? What should i do to respond to her when she tells me I love her for the wrong reason?
Thanks

Responding to girlfriend,

Here's a few things to look at what is happening...1) she is not sure she loves you and is waiting until she knows for a fact. With that being said, when one person says "I love you" it can be a very uncomfortable situation if the other person is unsure if they can reciprocate the feeling. I suggest you respect this growing process. 2) She might have a jaded opinion of love and maybe this is a good time to communicate on a deeper level on what exactly she means when she says "you love me for the wrong reasons". If you do really love her...you should feel comfortable to be honest with her concerning this issue. Either way you will have a better understanding of her perspective.

I think only after you communicate, then you can fully answer your questions if you are wasting your time. When you communicate with her, respect and honor her opinions by listening without judging. Sometimes it is hard to not take it personally when you are involving your heart...but this might be about her issue. Your issue is if you want to invest your heart with her after you know all the facts.

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14/f...ive been going out with my boyfriend for about three weeks and his birthday is on the last day of school. One of my friends is throwing an end of school party on the last day of school (his bday). I can't bring him to the party because ALL my friends don't like him at all; they won't let me bring him basically. We've already talked about his birthday but I haven't had the courage to tell him that I would rather go to my friends party but I don't know how to tell him. What should I do?

How do I,

Ahhh...this is a great learning moment and an opportunity for you to discover who and what is important thing to do. Ask yourself this question...what's the right thing to do? You obviously know that ditching your boyfriend on his birthday wouldn't be nice. I think maybe this moment is allowing you to assess what is more important to you. Here's a few questions to ask yourself...do you care for your boyfriend despite how your friends feel? If yes...then you should put his feelings as a priority since it is his birthday a special day. Also think of this...how would you want to be treated, if the situation was reverse? The only other honorable option for you to do is be honest with your boyfriend about the situation...but I wouldn't recommend this option, unless you know he wouldn't be hurt from it.

Sometimes doing the "right" thing may not seem at the time the most fun...but I promise you...it is a growing moment and you will become much wiser because of it.

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I'm a white female in my 40s, have been married for 13 years. I have two childred from a previous marriage, and one with my husband now. I have several close friends of both sexes, and all races and ethnic backgrounds. My husband and I have a very trusting relationship without jelousy. I can talk to my male friends on the phone, meet them for lunch, a walk in the park, or go fishing with or without my husband. My husband treats all my friends with respect, as I do his. They are all good people in his book.

One particular hispanic male friend of mine got married a year after I did. I consider us great friends, we have a lot in common. However, his wife is a big pain...she would not approve of our friendship, I have tried to include both my friend and his wife in plans with my husband and myself, but he refuses to ask her due to how she acts. I don't want to create problems. He calls me all the time (from work) but because of her I have considered calling of the friendship. I don't want to be stalked by a crazy jealous woman, and to to tell you the truth from things he has told me I am quite intimidated.

He means so much to me, and our bond is like brother-sister, but I honestly want him to be open and relaxed with our friendship. I don't want to hide from her.

So my choices are to ignore him, and tell him it's for his own good. Or to continue being friends behind her back. He says he knows he is not doing anything wrong, and wants to continue the friendship, but I am worried because of her. Any advice for me?

Married friends,

I know that this situation is bringing a lot of stress into your life. I want to offer another perspective that might help. Your friend needs to do the honorable thing and stand up for what is important to him. He chose his wife and so he is responsible for the outcome of whatever he does concerning her. Unfortunately, his lack of courage to communicate his needs are spilling on to you...now in turn you have un-needed stress that shouldn’t even be about you. His wife’s anger may be even more inflamed because of his dishonesty and therefore when people don’t rationally put things in check…they want to blame. So you in a sense are a scapegoat for their deficiencies in their marriage. I think it would be wise to set boundaries with your friend…give him a chance to do what your heart knows is the right thing to do. Don’t let fear guide your decisions…trust your intuition and you will respect and honor yourself. If he can’t step up to the plate to fix the problems he is having in the marriage, then maybe your friendship should be at a rest for awhile…sometimes when there are problems in a person’s life…they will look for distractions instead of fixing the problem. I know from a personal level…you don’t want to be the distraction…because eventually you become the problem even though technically you never did anything wrong. Sometimes a storm needs to occur to get the rainbow…if he is just playing hide and seek to avoid the problem with his wife…I can guarantee…the problem will keep arising, maybe in other forms…but it will be there…I would hate to see you get caught up in the drama. Life may be wanting to teach him something and sometimes you have to step out of the way and support him on the right thing. I am not saying to quit the friendship…I am saying to clearly communicate your boundaries that will best honor all that encompasses you. If you give him some time…that may be the best thing a friend can do…he can finally figure out what is truly important to him and he can fix the fire at home.

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Hello Sedona,

'm a 39 year old male. I'm having trouble showing respect to my mate, or more appropriately, she does not feel that I repsect her. This is totally not true. I respect many things about her; her wisdom, her parenting, her willingness to help people and share her heart, her love of new experiences, the list goes on. Anyway, what can I do to show her that I truly do respect her?

Thanks,
Respectfully Yours

Respectfully Yours,

What you are experiencing is not all that uncommon. In many relationships, the woman feels that she is either not appreciated or respected. Half of the problem may be due to your mate's perspective. Women often need reassurance. She might be going through a stressful or difficult time right now and she may need your support. If she is vocalizing to you that she doesn't feel respected...she might be feeling a little down and you could help her find out what is really bothering her by listening without judgment. This is the best way to earn a woman's trust. So the first thing to do is not take it personally. Secondly, ask yourself this...have you told her that you respect those qualities you listed in the question, lately? The key word is lately. There are a lot of gestures that you can do to communicate that you respect her...but it is up to you what you feel will best portray what your heart wants to say. Don't take the lazy way out, a woman can always tell when a man has put some thought in his gestures. Often times, guys wait till the last minute to finally tell or show their loved one how they really feel. If your woman is truly important to you, designate a day out of the month to do something special for her. This will win you lots of points and in turn she will be a happy woman. Bottom line: Treat her like a goddess and she love you like a god.

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I am part psychic sometimes I kno what is going to happen but it is usualy only about little things not like huge world wide things.

first off I would like to kno how I can strangthen my skills.

2nd off. Sometimes when I am going to bed I have hundreds of thoughts going threw my mind. It is like different people are talking all at once. The thoughts arent things I would kno of or have ever thought about. Do you think that I am having thoughts from other people or spirits? I doubt it but im not sure.

pyschic blahhhh,

It sounds like you are becoming aware of your psychic abilities. We all possess some gifts or abilities, but some choose to tune it out. You can strengthen your skills, but my suggestion to you is to figure out what your intentions are for doing this. Journalizing, meditating and praying is a good start to getting in contact with the part of yourself. Quieting the mind is what your objective needs to be to further your abilities. If you are serious on furthering your knowledge, make time for studying more about what your questions are about. Knowledge will be given to those who seek it. If you have further questions, I would be more than happy to guide you to more information via e-mail. It is a process, but the journey may be what was intended for your spiritual path.

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ok well i am a 17 year old male, and of course my problem involves a girl. i have a major crush on this girl, i mean the whole nine yards. sweaty palms, loss of words, clumsiness, you name it (which is wierd because i NEVER have problems with girls). the cool thing is that i think she has a crush on me too. the thing is, my best friend (17/M) also likes this girl a lot, although she doesnt like him. i need to know what to do in this situation, because it is driving me insane. i will provide feedback. Thank you so much!

Love Triangle,

Well I think the key to success in this situation is honesty and respect. If you value your friendship...you'll be honest...and if he values your friendship...he'll respect your honesty. Sometimes you can only know your true friends when they are tested through situations like this.

Bottom line, it is up to the girl to choose who she wants to be with and that decision needs to be respected too.

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I love and believe in God and have my whole life. I come from a religious family but recently it's been really hard to believe. In the past month, I've lost my Aunt and my best friend's Dad to cancer.


My Aunt was just about the best person I've ever met. Honestly, sometimes I can't stand my extended family but she was different. She was always sweet, energetic (when she wasn't in the hospital) and optimistic.


My dad is always working so I almost never get to see him except on Sundays. My best friend and her family live next door so I was always around them and her father. He was such a great man and acted like a great father figure to me considering I don't have any older brothers and my dad is always working or busy with clients.


It's not fair that they get sick and die when there are murderers and such running around everywhere. It's not fair that God does this to me, my family, and my friend's family. My Aunt and her dad were great people and it's not fair that God takes them from us like that. I want to still believe that it all happens for a reason and that God loves me, and he know what he's doing, but I can't. I don't know what to do.

God?,

There is a lot that could be said but I feel this might be the most helpful for you at this time.
It is natural when we lose something that is important to us to be angry with something and figure out reasons why. When going through the grieving process, take God out of the equation. You can reflect on your belief at another time. Your faith and spirituality should not be based upon someone else's life. It's okay to allow yourself to mourn what was important to you. Honor their lives by honoring yours and the process. Take in all that they offered to you while they were alive and pay it forward that is how their legacy will live on. When you try to comprehend with the mind why things happen on a universal level, we will wind up getting stuck in confusion. I do know this much...their lives here on Earth was only the beginning...they emerged from their cocoons.

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i'm wicca and i'm gonna have a baby and well i was wondering if it's wrong if i make my baby learn and follow through with the wicca relligon i really want her/him to belive in what i belive in and i think of it as like the christans and how they make them belive in the whole jesus christ bible stuff no offence to any people who belive in that relligon so is it wrong? plez help

Wicca,

Many Blessings for you and your baby. You can't make any sentient being chose a way to believe. As parent, your role is to be a mentor so it is important to show your child what you know to be true for you. Always keep an open mind to other forms of beliefs and ideas...it may help further your enlightenment as well as your child's. When she spiritually matures remember to not take it personal if she chooses not to embrace your truth. A parent should always encourage a child to grow spiritually. Your role is to educate and teach tolerance on all levels. Guided her on what you know is important...don't hide it...you might be surprised...one day she may enlighten you on what she learns.

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I'm so messed up I'm agnostic thinking about turning back into a christian or turn into an athiest.. I'm so scared if I turned into an athiest I'll go to hell If there really is a god... If I turn into a christian I'll be believein in something that may not be real? I cried about this.. Should I just turn into an athiest and if there really is a god go to hell for it.. Or should I turn into a christian and believe and god and maybe go to heaven if god is real?

Hello I cried,

I think first and foremost it is important that you shouldn't feel scared or alone while you are going through this feeling. This is an opportunity for you to grow on a spiritual level. Keep in mind when you look to religion to answer your soul questions, you will always end up short handed. The truth lies within you. You don't have to follow a structured form of belief to guide you to your own inner enlightenment. If you let fear drive your decision on faith...your faith will not be pure in heart. Research all options of faith, not just Christianity and see what feels the most comfortable for you and truth for you. Try not to be too consumed with trying to label yourself and most of all, be patient with yourself. You aren't meant to have all the answers at once. If you ask for truth with an open heart (no matter what the answer is...it will come to you when you are ready to receive it)

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somebody spread a rumors that im bi please help what should i do? i was just playing around my friends all the time and i dont know why some people spread the rumors about im biosexual 100% straight!! help

Well unfortunately with rumors you don't have much control of them...but the good thing is they usually fizzle out with some time...unless you happen to keep validating the rumors. I suggest you be a bit more mindful of how you might be portraying yourself. What might seem like a joke to you, can be perceived differently to others. Sexuality is controversial in itself in most areas. It is possible that with your joking, it might have made someone else feel uncomfortable and thus is how the rumor began. I am not saying in any way that they are right in doing what they do...but those are the rules of social interaction. Sometimes we have to adjust our behavior...luckily with rumors...there is always a learning curve.

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