Hello There;
This is a colunm for anyone with questions on relationship problems, question about their sexuality, questions about their spirituality, advice on talking to parents, and about whether they should, being made homeless by parents, unexpected pregnancies, depression and suicidal thoughts.
I have been, or have had someone very close to me in each of those situations, and can answer questions, provide useful information, and just be there, as a virtual shoulder to cry on!!
Ask away!!
Charming Ashlie xx
E-mail: browneyedwiccan@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Bath, Uk
Occupation: Unemployed
Age: 20
MSN: browneyedwiccan@hotmail.com
Member Since: May 23, 2007
Answers: 50
Last Update: June 3, 2007
Visitors: 4332
Main Categories:
Love Life
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in the Curse of Curves by Cute is what we aim for, the lyric says " ive got the gift of one liners" what are one liners? thxx (link)
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one liners can also relate to flirting, having the gift of the gab, being a bit lippy!!
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i know well these thinqs are not heredetary or anythinq, but my "father" (he used to abuse of me) is 20 years older than my mom, and so i have a tendency to qo for older quys. Not THAT much older, im 15/f and i qo for as old as 26, qiven their appearances (unless its Derek Jeter or Johnny Depp or sumthinq =]). Im scared that i miqht end up just like her, married to an old quy twice my age who'll amke my life even more miserable. Is there like sum trauma in my brain or sumthinq?...wat can i do?? (link)
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well, thats a rather large age gap for someone so young, but boys your age suck!!they really do, it wasnt that long ago that i was your age, and continually disappointed by boys!! i didnt even consider older guys though, but thats me!!
I am, now however, with a guy seven years older than me, but i am 20 now, and am rather mature for my age!
just focus on personality as well as age.
if your worrying about ending up like your mum, then you most likely wont end up like her- just dont get married!!
charming ashlie
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When a guy puts his arm over your shoulder when ur walking, what do i do with my hands? should i put my arm around his waist or is that wierd? (link)
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the only comfortable thing you can do is either put you hand in his back pocket, if he has one, but then that looks like your touching up, or put your arm round his waist, its not weird trust me!!
charming ashlie
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Today two boys were laughing and telling me to close my eyes and shake my hand like i'm rolling a dice, and bite my lip or open my mouth. I've asked everyone what it means but all they do is laugh and tell me they don't want to tell me. I know that it's probably something immature and sexual but what is it supposed to look like when you do that? (link)
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its so you look like your are giving a handjob and enjoying it.
dont let them fool you again!
charming ashlie
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Hi. I'm 21/f.
So there's this kid, Chris, who used to like me a lot. We hung out a few times when me & my boyfriend, Dave, were on a break. I'm not going to lie, I've flirted with him a little as well & maybe even led him on. However, I told him that even though Dave & I aren't officially together, we basically are since we do everything bf & gf's do & that were in love with each other. Chris knew all about Dave (we were friends when Dave & I started going out at 16) but still had deep feelings for me. It got to the point where I felt he was way too attached to me. Once I realized how much he really liked me, I backed off. I was turned off too. It was good timing because he had to go back to college.
Soon after, me & Dave got back together. Chris & I still talked online so I let him know that were official again. He was heart broken, I can tell. After that we hardly spoke online but now he's back from college on summer break & he wants to hang out with me again. He seems flirtatious towards me & seems really pressed to hang out with me. He tells me I'm beautiful & sexy & I don't know why because he knows Dave & I are still a couple.
He's a friend but I'm afraid if I hang out with him he's going to feel feelings for me again & I don't want to hurt him. I even think it may not be a good idea to hang out with a guy who has feelings for me when I have a boyfriend. I'd feel wrong..
(Btw, these two guys know each other.)
So I need advice. He really wants to chill with me. What should I do? I don't want my bf to know & I'm not going to go behind his back either. (And even if I did hang out with Chris & I told Dave, I don't want Dee to think its okay to hang out with girls who want to be with him.) How do I avoid hanging with Chris? What do I say to him? How can I not hurt him again?
Thanks, any advice is appreciated. (link)
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hmmmm this is a toughie. you just need to ask your friend to stop saying things that are inappropriate. maybe he thinks he stands a chance if you and your boyfriend arent official?
maybe he should hang out with both you and dave?
charming ashlie
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What are some good breakup songs? (link)
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well it depends on the way you feel. if you want some songs that will keep you strong, then go for bands that you liked before you were with that person, songs that do not remind you of him at all.
if you are sad, and want to cry, then there are a zillion sad song albums out there.
depends on your type of music!!
charming ashlie
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the only time i've been involved in stuff with guys was once when i got fingered. and he wasnt very nice and i've been avoiding this stuff.
but the guy i've really liked, and dated on and off for 10 months wants me to sleep with him. and for once im not nervous. so i want to ..
but i have NO idea what im doing. i know the general gist of it, but like what do i do if im just the girl taht like sits there and gets nothing from it, or what if its no good for him .. i need a little guidance cause i don't know anything about sex. i've never had it or anything.
what's your first time like .. bad? scarey, totally unpleasurable ..
help please!!!
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firstly, i would start off with fingering and other sexual acts before moving onto sexual intercourse; this is where you will gain the most pleasure probably, and its an important stage, it helps you realise what each of you like, and that can be applied to sex.
my first time was ok; i wasnt scared, and we had been doing other stuff for two months at that point, so i was comfortable. the best "first time" was with my second proper boyfriend, also my current.
it doesnt matter if you dont know everything your first time' thats what keeps you practising!!
charming ashlie xx
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I have known this guy for a couple weeks, and he doesnt trust girls at all. He's gotten hurt in the past, and you can just see the hurt in his eyes. He acts tough just to try to forget about it. What can i do? I care about him.
Thanks (link)
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i would spend more time getting to know him first; you have only known him for a small amount of time; spend another month getting to know him; then start asking him some questions!!
charming ashlie
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why do some girls like giving head?
me and my boyfriend we're wondering. (link)
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because they enjoy the power; to seduce a bloke completely, and his pleasure be completely dependent on you; and possibly his pain, is a very sexy thing to some people.
charming ashlie
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Is it true that guys tend to get more emotionally hurt than girls when it comes to trust?
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no- the way they express the hurt; and how acceptable it is in society for them to be hurt is different!
edited to add; i dont think women just get hurt; i have lost a lot of trust, every situation is different, and some people; male or female, heal faster than others!!
charming ashlie
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I can't look at myself properly.
Like I hear how skinny I am from my mother, and such, but when I look in the mirror I swear I just see thunder theighs.
So for about a month, I've been exercising and eating healthy.
I lost 6 pounds.
So I'm roughly 16/5'2 and 125 pounds.
I'm also starting to feel quilty about eating, anything. Like even carrots (14=30 cals)
I jsut want to lose weight.
So can you tell me a way to diet that is healthy.
I need to lose soem weight. (link)
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i am in egland and we use different measurements, like stones and lbs instead of just lbs, but i am pretty sure that you are not thunder thighs.
you are so skinny, that a small amount of fat (which is there so you can LIVE) looks like loads to you. they are not thunder thighs; they are firm and make you feminine, embrace this, stop slagging yourself off, and start listening to what the people who love and care about you say.
i recomend cutting out unhealthy food, and walking more.
i recently switched from cola to apple juice; which helped me lose a few pounds!
charming ashlie
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are there any straighteners men.. there's GHD for men (ultra slim) but are there any other brands/ultra slim men's straighteners out there?
if so...which ones? (link)
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there are some remington ones; try and google straighteners short or fine hair. they only cost £20
charming ashlie
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I lost my camera a while ago--like towards the end of February. I have searched the house from top to bottom, as has my mother, many times. It's no where to be found. I decided that it might have been my cleaning ladies, because my room was a total mess when they left(I'm not saying it was them, just that it's one possibility). But whatever the reason, it's gone. It's May, and she still says that she has some hope of finding it. When she decides that it is gone, she'll get me a new one. And it is gone--we've torn our house apart looking for it. How can I convince her? I want a camera soon! (link)
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go through each of the rooms together, all in one day, so that you both know its not in your house. then be really upset, and she will soon buy the cam, when she can afford it!!
charming ashlie
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Hey sam,
I have recently turned sixteen and I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend (we have now been together for over 19 months). We are both sixteen.
Thing is, whenever he comes round to my house, he is not allowed in my room, so we don't get that much privacy. It wouldn't be so much of an issue but whenever I go round his house, we never get privacy either as he has two brothers and a sister!
I want to ask my mum and dad if he is allowed to go in my room now, as we are both sixteen and been together for ages, but they're wuite strict with this sort of thing so I'm scared. We don't want to have sex or anything in my room, because I'm not ready for that and he is happy to wait until I am. We just want some privacy!
Also, I want to ask them if I can go on the pill to make my periods easier to deal with and so I am on contraception when we do have sex. Again, I am scared to ask them about this, and I don't want to go behind their backs because I repsect their opinion.
What can I do? Help!
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Its best to talk to whichever parent you are closest to; pref your mum because she has been in the situation you are in. assure your mum you are not looking to have sex; that you want to go on the pill for your periods; which she probably already knows are painful, probably heard in you in pain. then ask if your boyfriend is allowed into your room, assure that you will have the door partially open if that reassures her. after a while, they get used to it. and you will get more privacy!!and respect!
good luck
charming ashlie
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im 13 years old and my music teacher thinks i have a wonderful voice , im not all that sure . i've thought about busking but i have heard that you need a licence and i cannot really afford one, how else could i get into a singing job,i sing classical and just enjoy it so much. (link)
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ask your parents; i know you would need an agent; but you need parental permission.
maybe join a choir if you enjoy it so much, or find a group in your local area?
charming ashlie
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I am really worried that my 3 best friends have gone off of me because they are being very ignorant and selfish towards me.
I really enjoy being mates with them but im getting really fed up i want to stay mates with them but i want them to listen to me without always ignoring me (link)
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these girls are not your friends, they are being bitches to you. maybe you should try and still be friendly with them, but try and be more friendly with other people; try and branch out a bit more to make more friends, so you have good friends, people to rely on, because you obviously cant rely on those 3.
charming ashlie
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how do you know when a guy likes you because ive recently started talking to this guy and we flirt and shit and he was asking me sexual questions and we were going back and forth than he asked me who i like and i wouldnt tell him than i asked him and he said nobody and he was asking me what grades this kids in and shit and then he said that he would tell me who he liked if i dont him but then he talks about fucking other gurls and stuff and i dont know if he veiws me as just a friend or as something more its like he likes one minute and than the next hes treating me like a friend should i play him at his own game or what (link)
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a guy likes you when he shows you respect. this boy isnt showing you respect he is too immature.
charming ashlie
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i'm not a porn freak or anything, but everyone watches internet porn once in a while (i hope). i'm 15/f, and i was just wondering if girls enjoy cuming more than men...i mean, you see the girls squirming and moaning, and you hardly ever see the guy flinch. Is it that guys are more in control of themselves or something. i'd really appreciate ur thoughts (link)
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its because its mostly men watching porn, and its an ego trip if the woman is loving it more than the bloke. women have far more control over their orgasms than men, the women are moaning and writhing because thats what turns men on. the man in the porn is meant to take a backseat so the man watching can enjoy the women.
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I had a friend for 16yrs we've been through plenty of ups and downs-i got married in september and my friend had to be the centre of attention the whole day, then she offered to look after my children one night and when she came back told lies and said we were late coming back. She broke up with her bloke and then got back with him- her cousin told me but said i wasnt to know about it !! then i found out she s been doing coke!! she blanked my daughter and she came home really upset so i made the mistake of sending a text saying how shes never been there for me how she kept things from me and why is she being so nasty - thing is now i feel stupid for sending the text as she said its none of my business what she does!! but she butts her nose into mine all the time such a hypocrite !! - i rang her to say sorry and asked what ive done but she doesnt want to know - im really gutted - even though i shouldnt as shes not exactly a mate is she ?!! am i really in the wrong here advice me please (link)
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i think you are wasting your time with this person; all the things you have said equate to her being an attention seeker; a drug addict, and someone you cant trust not to do drugs and look after you kids after 16 years of friendship.
dont apologise when SHE is in the wrong. cut her out and focus your energies on finding new and better friends.
sorry to hear you were let down.
hope you find some better friends,
charming ashlie
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im 16/f & i've recently, about a month ago, started maturbatinq. At first I used to do it even 3 times a day, because the orqasms were mindblowinq. Afterwards i'd even have vaqinal pain. But now, the orqasms aren't as intense and i'm never in the mood. The point is, how can i qet back to havinq those kinds of orqasms...did i like break my vaqina or somethinq?? Thanx for readinq =] (link)
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lol no you didnt; when you reach maturity, in the mental sexual way, thats all you seem to want to experience because of all the hormones surging through your body; but now your body is used to those feelings, its normal. probably because you have only experienced those feelings on your own. when you get used to something, you have to do something new, or with a different technique for it to continue to excite you.
i would experiment by reading erotic literature; that was the next step for me, then when i was ready, 3 years later, i found my first.
good luck!
charming ashlie
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