about

Hey my name is Bethany. I am in college majoring in psychology. Feel free to ask me a question, email, or IM me. I would love to hear from you.

advice

i hooked up with this guy 2 weeks ago and we had sex. it was fun and after he asked for my number. i gave him my cell but he hasnt called me yet. he said hed make sure to call me soon. how can i tell if i was just a hook up or if hes really interested in me? he seemed like he was really wanting to be with me more than just hooking up and sex. he even kissed me before i left. but he hasnt called and that makes me think he just used me. my bff said to give him time. how much time?

Unfortunately he probably did use you. My advice to you is that you should probably start actually getting to know the guys you are interested in before you sleep with them ....And don't think you have to put out to get a guy to like you, just because he's willing to have sex with you doesn't mean he cares about you, and he surely won't have any respect for you as you can see with this guy. I know this sounds harsh, but you can't sleep with a guy and expect him to view you as anything more than ass. If he does call again it will probably only be because he wants to hook up again, and that isn't a trap you want to get into. I know it sucks but lose this guy, and next time if you sleep with a guy right away don't expect anything to come of it.

Good luck

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Ok so i used to have anxiety attacks after my friend died.. for the most part ive been better its been 3 years.. and i havent had many. now that i am away to college, when i went home this weekend i started having the feelings of a panic attack everyday, which is 4 days. I would feel like i was losing control of myself, i got dizzy, sick to my stomach, a feeling of dread, and i couldnt think at all and felt like i was in a daze. I never had a full out panic attack. but the feeling alone was just horrible. Now that i had so many for no reason, ive had anxiety over having another one because i am back at college. I have zoloft from the past, but looking at all the side effects freaks me out more. I dont know what i should do, if they will naturally stop happening, or if i dont do anything they'll get much worse.

help :(

The problem with hoping that anxiety will go away, is that the more you think about it the worse the anxiety gets. I get panic attacks as well, and I know how awful you feel. Even if the anxiety attacks go away as soon as something changes they are going to come back. I know that drug side effects are scary, but your doctor knows your medical history and would not have prescribed it to you. Plenty of people take that drug and are fine. If it helps you manage the anxiety I would get back on it. There are also several books about controlling anxiety if you are dead set against medicine. I hope this helps.

Good luck

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I use to be very insecure and if i felt like i looked so good something would always change that and i would only see flaws,ive changed but theres still some insecurity there what can i do to change that?(:

When you start thinking about something all of the time it becomes a habitual way of thinking. Habits are hard to break. The way to break the habit is to stop the thinking where it starts. When you start looking at yourself in the mirror and being critical, stop yourself and go do something else. Keep doing this for a while, and eventually you will stop thinking about it as much. And when you stop thinking about it, you will feel better about yourself. Remember you are your own worse critic.

Good luck

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F/16 I have this amazing boyfriend who I've been dating for 2 weeks. I like him, but only when I'm with him. I partially think it's because I'm still hung up on my ex. All I can think about is my ex, and how I want to be with him. Just a few months ago I was with my ex, until some things happened that screwed us up. Now I'm dating this other kid, and he's my first boyfriend since my ex 2 years ago.

I do like my current boyfriend, but when I'm with him and we're alone things are sexual and I don't like that. Whenever I see him in school all I can think about is wanting to be with my ex instead of him. He's such a nice guy, and I do like him, it's just I know I would rather be with my ex and that's all that would make me happy. I sometimes feel if I could just get my ex to actually reject me then I would be able to put my feelings aside and would realize how good I have it now.

I don't want to lose my boyfriend, but I just feel like it's the wrong thing to stay with him while I have such strong feelings for someone else. He knows about my ex, and how I used to feel, I don't know if he's aware I never lost those feelings, but..he knows about him. So it's not like my feelings are a complete secret.

I just don't know what I should do, should I stay with my boyfriend? Try to get back with my ex? Talk to my ex and realize he doesn't want me? Just back off from boys all together until i figure things out? Idk, I just need some sort of help.

First of all, if you are uncomfortable with anything sexual then you need to simply say you are uncomfortable with it. You shouldn't let anything go beyond the boundaries you set for yourself or you will regret it.

As far as only liking your boyfriend, you are recently broken up out of another relationship that obviously meant a lot to. It is dangerous to start dating again so quickly after a big relationship because you are going to transfer feelings you have from the past relationship to the new one.

If you broke up with your ex, I encourage you to remember why and if the things you didn't like aren't fixed then go ahead and move on, there is no point in breaking up and getting back together all of the time, however if they are fixed you can possibly get back with him, just don't make it a habit.

If he broke up with you, you just need to go ahead and move on, and not worry a out if he wants you back or not. If he didn't see what you were worth whe you were with him then he doesn't deserve you.

As far as the guy you are with, if you truly have more feelings for your ex than him, and it's not just hurt pride because you feel rejected by your ex, then you need to go ahead and let him go. It's not fair to him to be with someone who doesn't have their heart into being with him, and he deserves better.

If you choose to break up with your current boyfriend I would recommend staying single for a while. You need to clear your head and be happy with your before you can be happy with anyone else

Good luck

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I read in Cosmo awhile back that guys like to "chase" after girls and that if you let them think you're easy and will always be around then they're more likely to cheat or not care as much about you. My boyfriend is a pretty good guy and I don't think he'd cheat on me but I don't want to risk it. We talk like every 2 days and I see him at least 3 times a week at school. We don't really go on dates too often but like once every 2 weeks maybe we'll go to a movie or get pizza together. Should I ignore him for awhile to keep him after me? HOw long is a good time range so he still desires me?

Men like to be the ones who have to chase after you because they like feeling like the man in the relationship. If you find that you are the on making the calls first or making plans for dates, and he isn't doing any work, you may want to wait for him to call or make plans with you. You shouldn't ignore him however. Playing games and ignoring him will probably only hurt him, and get you into the situation you are trying to avoid because he will feel like you don't care about him. If you feel like you are being clingy then just wait for him to call and make plans with you, but don't worry about it other wise or you will just mess things up.

Good luck

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I've been married to my beautiful wife for 3 years now. I told her I'd do anything in the world to make her happy and to please her. About a week ago she confessed to me that she wants to experiment with other men. She wants to actually have sex with another man to see what it's like since she has only been with one other man before our marriage. I can't really overcome this and it makes me feel like a bad husband. I told her I'd have to think about a lot of things first. She said that it's the only way she'll be completely happy in this marriage. What do I do? I feel like if I say yes then I am degrading myself and this marriage, but if I say no then I'm holding her back from what will truly make her happiest in this world.

In marrying you she vowed to be faithful to you. It is selfish of your wife to ask to sleep with another man because she wants to know what it is like. If she wanted to know what it is like to be with someone else she should have done that before she got married. If you allow this to happen, it will ruin your marriage. You will never be able to get over the fact that she needs to be with someone else to know she was happy with you. If you told her that it was okay with you that she sleep with another man, in fact you understand her desire and you would like to sleep with another woman, she would probably pitch a fit. She has you thinking that you are being selfish, and that she loves you, and if you love her you would let her do whatever she needed to be happy, but if she really loved you then she would only want you, and she wouldn't be attepting to do things that are damaging not only to the relationship, but to you personally.

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I'm female, 20 years old. My walk to class is about 5 to 10 minutes. On my way to class my face always gets really sweaty and so its just embarrassing when i get to class. I dont know what to do..its not like the walk is hard, i'm very in shape and im on my schools varisty volleyball team. it seems like no matter what, hot or cold my face always sweats and i just look gross when i get to class...what do i do? i dont have the option of driving.

There are medicines that you can take that will help control excessive sweating, even if it only is on your face, so talk to your doctor and see if they can put you on something. If you don't want to talk to the doctor, or want to try something else first, I would recommend putting on a layer or liquid foundation, letting it dry, and then follow up by putting on a powder like bare minerals. Doing this will help absorb the oils and sweat, and reduce the appearance of wetness on your face.
Good luck

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17/F

saturday my bf and i made plans to go out but my phone was out of minutes and i was stuck at home painting the walls. when i finaly turned my phome back on i called him, talked, and we rearanged plans. our new plan was for me to go home with him and his family, relax and eat there then go to the movies, we agreed i asked my mom and he did the same.
my mom said i was ok with her if i could clean up the livingroom, den and kitchen (with us painting the house those 3 rooms were messy) so i stayed up all night cleaning up. when i finally tried to go to sleep my alarm went off for me to go to church. during service i fell asleep (which is not like me) aand he woke me up, but i was only sleep for like 1min.
after church i went home with him and his family when we got to his house his mom started cooking and i started to fall asleep, untill he asked me to come out side and have some "us" time so i did after talking and picking up his aunt we went in his room to iron our clothes (and nothing else, the door was open) after i ironed my clothes and he did the same. i layed on the bed and started to fall asleep again untill he woke me up asking "are you ready to go?" my reply "when ever you are." so we got dressed and left.
we went out to eat and i paid (because every other week i pay and every other week he pays, it works for us) and instead of going to the movies we went to the store to waist time. when we were at his house, and i was going to sleep he told me what was on his mind. he wanted to "go some where with no interruptions just the 2 of us and have sex"... my reply was "i'm tired." well after we left the store we didn't know where else to go so he said "lets go somewhere quiet and just talk" so i said "ok"
we went down this dark road and finaly he pulled over in the middle of no-where. so we sat ther eno one said anything it was just an oquward... so i asked "whats on your mind?" and he said "its just me, you, and the earth. your voice and mines, no interruptions. i don't see why we're not having sex." i told him " my mind set is different form yours right now." so after an arguement and some quietness, i said "hey if you want, you can take me home." after 30min he took me home. so yesterday i texed him "hi" but he never texed back (i guess he was still mad) so now its another day and i haven't texed him and he hasn't texed me. i'm starting to say its over but b4 i do that, i wanna know, am i wrong? is he wrong? was i leading him on or something? i don't get it..
if i did something wrong, let me know i acept my faults. if he's wrong i believe in forgiving. i just need to know before i do something i'll regret. can u help me? please. (sorry for the misspelled words, i was rushing)

You were not wrong at all. He is being selfish. You worked extra hard to clean your house, and stayed up all night to see some one who got angry with you because you were too sleepy to have sex with him. Sex is supposed to be about two people coming together out of love. A good boyfriend would have said okay baby, maybe another time, and thanked you for working so hard to come see him. If this guy really loved you he wouldn't be ignoring you because you wouldn't have sex. I know that it is a hard thing to make someone mad that you care about, and that it is hard to break up, but you deserve someone who is going to respect you, and if he can't do that then you deserve, and will find better.

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