...Im shay, I love giving advice. I've learned a lot of lessons from myself and my four other siblings. If I havent been through it, my friends have, or my family has, I can pretty much solve peoples problems. I do it all the time, thats why I love giving advice. I'm a sucker for music, ask me questions about it, Im sure I can help you. I play guitar, I play tennis, I'm pretty atheletic.
Gender: Female
Location: CA
Occupation: student
AIM: BreathingxDeeply
Yahoo: SuNkiStDeLonGe
Member Since: December 1, 2003
Answers: 547
Last Update: May 28, 2007
Visitors: 25788
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I have a friend who is a really good friend of mine and she has boyfriends like all the time but she is not a slut or a hoe.These guys ask her to do all these things withher like touch her and everything and she is afraid to say no cuz it would ruin there relationship so she does them with him I just dont want her to get hurt what am i to do!!!!! Love,Help (link)
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A guy touching a girl doesnt exactley mean she is to get hurt. Though if she keeps letting guys take advantage of her that is the position she will be in. Telling a guy she doesnt want to be touched will not ruin a relationship and even if it does she shouldnt be with guys like that anyways. Tell her that and you are a good friend to be watching out for her like that. Good job!
-shay :-)
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If you want to know the background then go to 'The best way to be a bitch'
Jon pissed me off really rather a lot since then because he would NOT give up at all.
Now Andrew has always been slightly involved in this saga but it just got more complicated.
When I first told him what Jon had said he said 'What would you have done if Bill or I had done it' in a weird way that seemed to be a hint.
Since then we have spent a lot of time sitting talking to each other,and according to some people flirting.We have loads in common and I like him a LOT so it could be true from my part but I'm not sure about him.
The other day he suggested that we should pretend to be dating to get at Jon and I agreed.
What do you think is going on?
What should I do? (link)
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Okay I have no idea what you just said. Calm down and please do tell again. You sound stressed and uncalm.
-shay :-)
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Here's the situation:
I am a Baptist. My in-laws and my husband are Methodists. My husband and I attend a Baptist church. Under most circumstances, I don't pay attention to denominational differences, because I think we're all going to the same place anyway.
The problem is that my in laws, especially my mother-in-law, have made it clear that they don't like the fact that we're going to the "wrong" church. Earlier we even suggested that they could come to church on Christmas Eve with us, and my mother-in-law burst into tears and ran out of the room.
Evidently, the fact that I am not a Methodist offends them deeply. I don't want to join a different church just to please them, though. Any thoughts on what to do that doesn't involve hurting everyone's feelings? (link)
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Okay if your in-laws cant seem to accept your religion dont go to their Cristmas Eve thing. That is a day you should enjoy yourself not sit in living tortur. Tell your husband that maybe you, him and your family (Your children if you have any) can go to a little dinner somewhere to anjoy your day before Christmas. Happy Holidays!
-shay :-)
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One of my friends at college, let's call him Try, seems to have developed feelings for me. Isn't that great? Well, not really. As much as I'd like to see him happy, I like another guy, Catch for the purposes of this excersize.
I made a post on a messageboard implying I had feelings for a guy. I was referring to Catch. I didn't figure there was any way anyone could interpret it as being anyone BESIDES Catch.
Part two. I sign up for livejournal so it's easier to talk to Try while he's back in Taiwan, halfway across the world. Consequently, I can now see all his private posts on HIS livejournal. Turns out, Try was hoping it was HIM I was talking about. And there were also random outbursts about how it was [female name, let's say Throw] all over again. Now, I know of his history with Throw, and I don't want to be another Throw.
Now I feel like I know stuff I shouldn't, and I feel bad about making Try feel bad, and I still care about Catch more than anything. It's a mess.
RuntimeException! What's a girl to do? (link)
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You have what seems to be a love triangle. Those suck sometimes, but you got to deal with them. So Im going to help you with that. This other guy that you like doesnt seem to be responding to your feelings, but this guy Try is. Give Try a chance and see what hes all about. A couple dates maybe. If you find that you dont like him as much as you like the other guy tell him,"These dates have been great, but I think we should just be friends". Hope I helped with your problem!
shay :-)
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Hi i am a little confused i am a female and i dont have sex with my boyfriend untill a we hit 3 months so then i pleasure my self by finguring myself I am not sure How to do it the proper way do you think u can help Love,
Confused girl (link)
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3 months! Try 3 years! You are going way ahead of yourself. Dont fingure yourself its just gross. That is my advice to you.
-shay :-)
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Look I really love my boyfriend weve been together for 3 years and I want to take it to the next level(sex)and he wants to know if im really sure oh here's the catch im a virgin he knows of course so what should I do???????????? (link)
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If you are true to your virginity dont do anything just wait for marrage. Though if you want this badley take birth control or use condoms.
-shya :-)
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Ok, I still really like my ex boyfriend. But, he has a new gilfriend, that he supposedly really likes. *Rolls eyes* But, my friends and I have caught him SO many times staring at me while I walk in the halls at school. And I wrote my friend this hilarious note, and he read it and laughed. Like, a lot. But, he doesn't make any effort to talk to me or anything. My friends think he still has feelings for me, but he's with this other girl and he's afraid to pursue anything with me. My friends also think I should try making him jealous and "flaunt it". Any ideas on how to do that?
-Thanks. (link)
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I think your previous boyfriend is just getting over you. If he still liked you a lot dont you think you would still be going out? Even though I do know some things to make the jealous! Try getting a new boyfriend and pretend you like him a lot! Laugh at his jokes etc. Hope you get what you want!
-shay :-)
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ok last night i went to the movies with my friends peter and jules we saw the return of the king well all threw the movie i would talk to peter and stuf but forget a bout jules (i was siting in the middle of them) but i like this kid sean and then my sister is haveing her bday party today and her friend brian came over hes my age (14) and he had his girl friend with yhim and i was jelouse can any one tell me what this means
boy crazy (link)
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Boy crazy? Ive got no idea what you said. I dont understand.
-shay :-)
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My daughter is currently 13 years old. She's fairly mature and doesn't dress slutty. Now, she has liked this guy for about half a year. Today, he asked her out. They want to go see a movie with another couple their age on monday. I don't know if I should let her go. What is your stance on this? Is 13 too young to be dating? (link)
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If it is a double date things will seem to be okay. Just make sure you know her friend well. And same with the parents. That is very important.
-shay :-)
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Once upon a time... I thought I had a really great friend. She and I really spent lots of time together after we graduated from university, we majored in the same programs. One night we went together to a bar, not to pick up guys but just to have a girls night out. During our girls night out she left me at the bar to dance with a guy she met (yes so much for girls night out). I had a drink with me but kept looking at the dance floor over my shoulder to make sure my friend was doing okay since the guy she was dancing with had had quite a bit to drink. I suppose that while I frequently turned to look over my shoulder a man that had been next to me (whose face I cannot remember or recall)had slipped the Date Rape drug into my drink. Now do not get me wrong I'm not a dumb woman, I would never get up and leave my drink and then come back to it, but it must have happened so quickly, just as I glanced behind me. I woke up the next day alone on the couch of a house I had never been to before. I was loosely dressed and can remember only having been at the bar and then waking up. I remember nothing of what had happened that night. I immediately ran out of the house and asked someone what street I was on. When I found that I was only a 20 minute walk from my apartment I snuck quietly back inside the house and tried to find my purse and cell phone. I managed to find my purse but all my money, credit card (luckily maxed right out) and cell phone were gone. I left without them because I was very frightened being where I was. I went home. I went to the hospital later after having discovered differences in myself. I feared the worst and I was correct. I was given a rape test and they found traces of the drug in my body.
I had been raped and knew nothing and remembered nothing. It was almost better that way. The only problem was that I could not remember the man who had been sitting next to me at the bar. I called my friend hoping she could help to identify the man. She immediately told me that she didn't value our friendship anymore because I had deliberately left her at the bar, and as she claims 'and being an embarassment since I was acting so slutty'. I told her about not remembering anything and she called me a liar. I told her that her opinion of me didn't matter, all I needed was to know the name or a description of the man I left with and then I would leave her alone forever if I had to. SHe told me she would have no part in my lies, claiming that she didn't want to be responsible for an innocent man being prosecuted just because "I wanted the attention".
I guarantee you, with the hospital results to support me, that I was in fact raped without remembering.
She continued to spread the rumour that I was a liar and when I had the police contact her she claimed to have never been there with me at all.
All that I wanted was for this man to be brought to justice and that he be unable to destroy someone else's life the way he destroyed mine.
I was never able to positively identify the man and my case remains considered unsolved. Those others in the club told the police that they saw nothing, I'm not really sure if they did or not and the only other person I knew in the bar was my friend.
This incident happened 3 years ago and since I have been able to recover and return to a somewhat normalcy. However, recently (within the past few months) this girl has been leaving messages at my house and work for me to call her. Finally I called hoping she had wished to tell me something she knew or reconcile things between us.
Our conversation over the phone consisted of her telling me that she knew the name and address of the man who raped me, but she still refused to tell me. Saying that she wants me to pay her money or else she will tell me nothing. I'm almost ready to pay her, I want to punish this man so badly. The poeple I have consulted about this told me that she could be prosecuted if I were to tell the police. But I know that if I have her charged or arrested that I will lose all hope of knowing this mans identity, she would never tell me anything if I am responsible for damaging her record.
My question to you is what do I do now? Should I press charges and hope that she will give up the information she knows? Or perhaps should I pay her what she wants and finally get closure? (link)
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Definatley press charges. You should not have to pay for information that you need. Tell this person you will meet her somewere. Have someone with you (a person involving your rape crisis) Then take her to the station and make her tell everything she knows. Otherwise go to her house with someone either way works. Or if this person is offering the fee of a small amount say 40$ its definetley worth the pay. Hope you catch this horrible man! Good luck!
-shay :-)
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I really don't like this teacher at my school. She is mean to everyone and nobody likes her. I really want to pull a prank on her because I'm so angry but what should i do? Should I prank her, or just live with it the rest of the year? (link)
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You shouldnt pull a prank on a teacher because you'll be risking a lot of trouble. If other people want to pull pranks, let them. Just dont be a part of anything of the sort.
-shay :-)
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They said my thiroid is a little low. . or soemthing like that. . thyroid. . (link)
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lol! What? Okay I dont know who this is from but hope you get better!
-shay :-)
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*SIGH* We found Caspian. Dead. Hit by a car, as a matter of fact. What really gets me is he was about three feet from our house... he had been trying to come home! Any ideas on how to not become even more majorly depressed? (link)
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:-( ohh you poor thing!! I know exactley what your going through. My cat got eaten by coyotes! What I did was I tried to put my mind on other things. Since you cant change the past put it all behing you and maybe start over with a new pet. Now I know its not that easy, but its the best you can do. Hope you feel better!
-shay :-)
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Does anyone read French? If so, have you happened to read a book called 'Lygaya a Quebec' (I'm too lazy to put accents on it and I forget how). I'm currently doing a book report on it. Does anyone know what the place that Lygaya and Pierre are slaves at is called? i know it's something along the lines of 'El Dzijir' but i'm not sure. Any help whatsoever is appreciated. (link)
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Im planning on taking french, but right now I know very little. Try an internet search or a friends. Talk to your teacher or a parent/gaurdian!
-shay :-)
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I wanna start a hermit crab activist group in my state, because I, and others, believe that Hermit Crabs (land)are treated inhumanely. In pet stores they're always in tanks with out lights or heat lamps or spoges or the waters too deep and theyve all drowned in the water bowl. I HATE HOW THE POOR DEARS ARE TREATED!!
But i have my ways of getting them better living quaters. By Buying them all. like ....12 at a time from my local pet store....i buy every single one !!! Otherwise i go to the dude at the counter and tell him to clean out the tank once in a while. Or offer to clean it myself. Once i burst into tears cos all the poor little hermies were shell-less and food-less and it was AWFUL!!!
So Damnit, how can i get a group started in my town?? Can i spread the word around to my hermie friends and start an organisation that re homes them and adopts them??? Cos that would be cool.
Remember people- Hermit Crabs can live up to 120 years old in captivity, thses guys are pets for life, not just for christmas.
hell yeah. im gonna put this in random weirdos.....and no one will carea bout it and its go to hell. (link)
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If your in high school you could always do volenteer work. So that way your helping the crabs and yourself! Get some friends together and start volenteer work in the pet store. Otherwise let the manager know what a cruddy job his employes are doing. Im sure he'll fix that.
-shay :-)
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How can I get people to stop overselling my talents? My supervisor's been calling me a borderline genius in public and I'm really not. Someone's going to give me a herculean task that I'm not up to and it's going to be all his fault.
That and I could swear I'm getting dirty looks from my co-workers.
How can I bring his public optimism level down? Screwing up in a big way is not an option. (link)
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Talk to your supervisor about what he wants you to do. Hes probably calling you genius because he REALLY wants you to do this for him. Tell him he should probably ask someone else to do the job. Then talk to your co-workers about it and see if they understand.
-shay :-)
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Hey, T'is me, Mordak from spacefem. I wanna know where i should get my next piercing. I have 8 in my ears, 6 in my lieft, 2 in my right, and an eyebrow ring in my left eyebrow. So, where should i next bung a hole?? (link)
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Try the belly button! They look sooo coooool!!!
-shay :-)
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The fainting thing i sover now. . I just got an EKG done and the results will be in soon. . (link)
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Great! Let non-fainting be with you!
-shay :-)
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she dzunt keep saying im fine. . !!! I saw 2 different doctors, anyways. . and Im not sexual. . .Im younge (link)
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Good for you! You made good decisions!
-shay :-)
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How do you stay positive in the face of awful spelling, punctuation and grammar, random weirdos and people using Advicenators as their LiveJournal?
What keeps you from shoving a spork down the occasional questioner's throat? (link)
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My happy and upbeat attitude! I think everyone should let their feelings out once in a wile!
-shay :-)
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