VainTaraLynn's advice column

askVainTaraLynn

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: it might sound kind of gross but my stomach is kinda hairy and ive shaved it before but then it only grows back worse and i dont want to have to worry about shaving it or anything. is there anything i can do about it? thanks

Well, if you start shaving it, it will begin to come in darker and thicker.. so bad move =/ butt if you dont want to continue shaving then id say invest in some wax. or nair or something. that can last for a week or longer, and prevents shaving weekly.

Q: what could i use to mak my legs bigger because they are skinny when you compare them to other parta of my body.

Hm. Usually most people want their legs to be smaller haha.. but the only thing that I can think if is do like leg presses or run, and it will tone your legs and you'll gain muscles in there (not gross looking muscles) & when their toned, they will lookk bigger :)

Q: Please dont be offended by this, it's something i have been wondering about, it sounds discusting (and it is) but i think it must have happend.

Did God only create Adam and Eve or did he make other humans too?

I ask, because if it was only up to them to populate the earth hen surely incest must have taken place :-s

Adam and eve could have lots of children but then when they died there would have just been brothers and sisters left so that means that they wuld have had to make babies with eachother to make more people.

Is that what happend? i know it wasnt illegal back then but it's just so icky.
i know its a wierd question to ask but no one else ever talks about how people were made.

Hm. this is an interesting topic. I've wondered this same thing actually, cause I'm agnostic and really big on disputing religious issues.. but thats besides the point. I agree with the people below about the incest thing, but one thing that doesnt make sense to me is.. get this. we have probably.. idk billions of people living in the US today.. and billions of people around the world. Now tell me. How can 2 people. Adam & eve create THAT many people. Think about it. Say they had 3 kids, 2 boys & a girl. the boy & the girl would have a kid. they would grow old and die & that leaves the kid. Or they would each have to have 2 kids, but even still the older generations would die and that would leave at least 2 people still left. they would all have to have at least 20 kids to get the earth anywhere near populated. It just doesnt make sense to me. Also about the race thing. I dont believe in evolution, I think thats crazy but creationalism doesnt make sense either. but for the reason stated above. Also just so all of you guys know. Nowhere in the bible does it say Adam & Eve are white. I know alot of people i talk to say oh well if they were white how come we have blacks and asians and bla bla bla. The whole thing is a mystery to me also.

anywayyy. haha. Hope I sort of answered your question. and hopefully someone can share some insight on the things i said up there :)

Q: okay so if someone is pregnant can they have sex? like during the first few months?
or do they have to wait till after they have there baby and the doctor gives them an a-okay??

LOL. Unfortunately this is one of the many things my mom told me that i DIDNT wanna know. but yes you are able to have sex up until your 8th month of pregnancy. When you hit the 8th month, it isnt advised too, and it might be sort of hard too considering how big your stomach will have gotten lol. but if you still arent sure and want to be positive, talk to your doctor. he/she will let you know whats okay for you :)

Q: ok well i wanna get my bellybutton percied .. my parents are leaniant on it .. and i bet if i keep asking ill be allowed. They told me i could because

1. im too young [ im 13 - turning 14 ]
2. cause i can get it infected [ well you can get your ears infected too and i have 4 ear percings ]
3. they dont know where to go so it will be accaully clean and secure
4. it hurts

can you tell me if its hurts alot and where to go to get it done and how much it will cost? thank youu!

Wellll. 14 is sort of young to get it done, the only reason there is sort of an age on that is because if you are still growing when you get it done it will stretch out the piercing and it will look bad, and or hurt.

2. anything you get pierced can get infcected but there is a high risk with belly piercings if its not in the summer & you wear shirts. when you get it done (if you get it done) you have to make sure that you dont wear tight shirts because the rubbing of the fabric on it can cause irritation & infection

3) any piercing place should be clean. They have constant health inspections to make sure that their using steril needles (NOT A PIECING GUN) if they use a piercing gun, dont go there. theres a high risk of infection with those

4) about it hurting - it all depends on your pain tolerance. i did mine myself and i didnt think it hurt.. and i have my tongue done also. and did my nose & lip myself haha.. so I can handle things like that.. so it all depends about that..

im not sure about the price.. but id imagine around 20 dollars. my tongue cost 30 and thats one of the most expensive.. it all depends on wher you go though.. id say look up local piercing/tattoo places and call them and ask for prices and about their needles and stuff. they should be able to answer every question you have :)

Q: well i have this problem..i really hate myself i think i'm stupid fat and totally ugly! my mom always tells me i'm not and i'm soooo pretty but i think she's just saying that cause she's my mom! and well a lot of grown up's are also telling me i'm the most pretty girl the've ever seen but in my school people always tell me i'm ugly except my best friend but i think she's also just saying that cause she's my friend! and i really dont get it .. all the grown up people think i'm soo pretty and they tell me that when im not even asking! but in school everybody says im ugly and everytime i look in the mirrow i start crying! i dont know whats wrong with me! i wanna like me but i really hate me! can anybody tell me how i get myself to like me again? please!!!!! i'll rate high for good advice

Well, their all telling you your pretty because I'm sure you are. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Just tell yourself that you are gorgeous, and you will start to believe it. The only reason you dont is because everyone in school is telling you your not. The definition of pretty in high school is platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny, and medium height. Which is so unaccurate its not even funny. Sweetie just look in the mirror and say "Im gorgeous because I'm me" & that should be enough. Dont let what others say get to you, its just jealousy, trust me. & in high school what other people think NEVER matters, because once you graduate, it really wont matter. noone will even care what you looked like in that school picture, or the "horrible" outfit you wore.. so why let it get to you now when everyone is going to forget it in 5 years. :)

Q: okay. well i have ap retty screwed up home life. although its disfuncitonal- it's pretty good most of the time. i do have money and such, so it's not that hard to get along.

well anyways. latley poeple and really been letting me down.

i don't want ot be a pso, caus eim honestly not. but now i have kind of a screw you attitude. i just want to kind of set myself apart now. i guess you could say im "emo" or whatever. but not so hardcore?

i don't know.

i just want to be more hoardcare and fuck you.
i go to a cathloic school so i cant dye my hair crazy like i want to. and i cant' wear like crazy makeup.

i know it sounds weird and bad but oh well. i don't know who to turn to.

i just kind of want to set myself apart, and have people always wonder what's up with me as i'm about to enter highschool. i have great friends. and i'm pretty outgoing.

you might not umdertsnad whta im saying, but i dont really know how to put it.

thanks.

Well. Im going to try to answer this as best as I can. I dont really understand what your saying fully. I mean, I do understand that you want to break away and be an individualist and have a fuck you kind of attitude, but I'm not quite sure why? See. Being different just because you are, and changing into someone so people think a certain way of you is different. I dont want to label you by any means, but it sort of seems like your changing for the wrong reasons. I mean, look at me. I know I have an attitude problem. I can be a total bitch sometimes. and it didnt happen till about 5th grade. People fucked with me so much and I was such a pushover I just changed without even knwoing it because something inside me like snapped. & I couldnt change it.. and now I want to change back to who I used to be cause I have no idea who I am anymore.. and I'm sort of stuck with what I got. I mean, if you want to change than I guess just observe how people like "that" act. & I suppose act the same way.. but I dont think it sounds like a good idea. I'm sure your fine who you are.. and as for dressing that way and doing your hair and makeup "hardcore" It's going to be sort of hard to do at a catholic school, especially if you have uniforms. The whole point of them is to make everyone the same so there is no jealousy between students cause some kids can afford what others dont. Although there is still differences. Anyways though, Sorry if I didnt quite exactly answer your question, but hopefully you'll reconsider what your trying to do, before you do it.

Remember. being emo & hardcore or wahtever, or even goth. their all personalitys & states of minds.. not a way of dressing.

Q: I've been going out with this kid for about a week and a half now. He has a very bad reputation for smoking alot, drug use, getting in fights and stealing things. Everyone is scared of him so they don't know his good side. Actually he is very nice, considerate, sweet and ready for commitment.

Sometimes he lies to impress me though. Just one example, he told me he is 100 percent Irish but when I said I was Italian, he said he was 50% Irish and 50% Italian. He also buys me lots of jewelry to impress me I guess, but he doesn't need to.

I guess I'm just kind of shocked. But if he really feels like he has to be like that to keep me, I'm not sure if I actually want to keep dating him. This happened with all my previous boyfriends because I figure out their flaws as I get to know them and I start to drift away.

So Is he worth my time? Is it just that I have really high expectations for a guy?

Please Help!

He's probably lying to impress you because hes never had someone take a chance on him and get to know the real him and he wants it to last so hes doing everything he can to keep it and make it work. It sounds like an interesting relationship .. as long as his lying isnt about anything serious like cheating, or something like that then I say its completely harmless and I think you should keep dating him & see how things turn out. Dont be so quick to end something that might be good because you've figured out their flaws. You still have alot of time to figure out alot of other amazing things about him.. so dont cut that short. you could be even more impressed

as for the buying you things - sooo whaaatt. if he wants to do th at then let him. if it makes him happy then let it make you happy .. dont think hes trying to buy your love. some guys just like buying things for people they care about and dont expect anything in return =D

Q:
Hello
I am a 15 year old. I'll be 16 soon.
I have been having my period since Nov. 2004.
I've had it every month from the 19th to the 29th
This month i didn't get it.
It's never been this late.
I got all the cramps, and the upset stomachs before it.
It just never happend.
My mom didn't get hers either this month.
This is the 1st time it's happend.

I WILL rate high.
THanks

lol. your COMPLETELY NORMAL. Like I tell everyone else when I get this sort of question. I have skipped for 7 monthes before, and ive been getting my period since I was 11 ( im 16 now ). Its completely normal to skip a few times throughout the duration of your teen years. It probably wont become regular till your in your 20s lol so you have nothing to worry about =D

Q: I get jealous SO easily. I get jealous over just about anything. How do I fix this?

Being jealous is a sign of insecurity. If you get jealous over things it means your not comfortable with being yourself. You need to learn to do that. Maybe its because you think your not skinny, pretty, nice, or smart enough. Whatever the matter is though you need to love who you are. Tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful inside and out if you have too, and it should cure the jealousy problem, AS LONG as you truly believe what you are telling yourself. If your comfortable with who you are you have no need to be jealous. =D

Q: Is breaking up over the phone okay? Or should I make an effort to do it in person?

Anyway is okay. Theres no right or wrong way to do it. If your comfortable doing it in person than do it in person, so your able to reassure them and make sure their alright. but if you dont want to see their reaction then doing it on the phone is probably best. Personally, I would rather someone break up with me in person. but thats just me.

Q: How do you delete your google history .... Because when i go to www.google.com it shouws all my history of searches...... how so i delete them..... i dont have one like undreneath my address bar so im no ttlak ing about that

Go to tools at the top of your internet browser window, click internet options - then clear history (theres a button for it)

Q: my friend turned into a ttl poser and i really annoyin brat and soemtimes i cant stand her what do i do how do i tell her

Well, first off. She might have just changed in general and maybe she isnt posing, maybe she actually likes new things. Talk to her about it and see if shes doing it because she wants to fit in or because she actually likes whatever shes posing to me, whether its clothes, music, personality, whatever. Just talk to her about it and if she says that shes trying to be cool then say that you dont like how she is acting and you dont undertand why she is doing it. See what her response is and just go from there. Maybe tell her that you liked the way she used to be.. and you didnt think it was necessary for a change and she was fine the way she was. Most girls between the ages of 12&16 struggle to find who they are and often make alot of drastic changes because they think who they are isnt good enough, or dont have anyone telling them that. So basically just assure her that she was fine the way she used to be and you liked it better that way but if she isnt posing and really does enjoy the new things that she is doing, your going to have to accept that because that might just be who she really is. =D Good luck.

Q: ok welllll....do guys findd it weird when girls play video games? or is it cool? and do guys like it when girls are girly but still "boyey"?

P.S. boyey is not a real word..i just made it up...fyi

lol. Sweeetie all guys are different. Some guys like that in a girl and some guys dont it all depends on what guys you happen to find. Either way jsut be yourself & someone will find you & love it. =D

Q: everyone knows the aretha franklin song respect but my question is in the chorus it goes
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T take out the TCP ohhhh"

what does the tcp mean? thanks ill rate high

Its "Take care, TCB" Im pretty sure it means taking care (of) business. But I could be wrong.

Q: In health class yesterday a few people did a group presentation on whether or not emergency contraception should be available over the counter. I know it is in 5 or 6 states, but for the most part it's not in the US. The group concluded that it should be and it seemed like all 100 or so kids in the class agreed with them. I was kind of shocked because I disagreed. Emergency contraception can cause blood clots, heart attacks, all kinds of stuff. There are a few different kinds and I think that a doctor or other healh professional needs to perscribe them especially since they can be so dangerous. Yeah, it would be nice if they were more easily accessible, but wouldn't that just make it so that people relied on them? It's not a very effective form of contraception. If people are comfortable enough to be having sex, they need to be comfortable enough to be able to talk to someone about it if they end up needing emergency contraception for whatever reason. I had to get some once and yes, of course I was embarassed, but it was something that I just had to do. A consequence of what I did. I thought it was pretty darn easy. All I had to do was go into the health center and talk to someone about it. I hadn't even actually had sex, just a little....accident, but they gave me some anyways so I would feel better. I've seen so many people on here that don't know anything about emergency contaception. I think that we should be teaching kids about it and telling them how to get it, not making it so terribly easy to get. People will start abusing it if it's so readily available and I think that they will know even less about it. Another thing I see a lot of on here is people that know nothing about birth control pills yet they are on them! Am I the only one out there that believes that offering it over the counter is a bad idea? What does everyone think?

I agree. I think if they know that there is something out there that will make everything better the next day they wont even care about what they are doing and they will run right out and have sex without a care in the world about getting pregnant. I dont think it should be an over the counter drug I think they should have to go and talk to their physicians about it and give a good reason as to why they want that certain drug like if it was a rape or something totally unwanted. Otherwise itu will just give the younger generation of kids the Okay to engage in premiscuious activity. without thinking twice.

Q: I need advice! Iam a female and 15 years old. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year now. My parents did not care about me dating him at first but now all of a sudden my dad wont let me talk to him, and i still love him so what should i do???

Talk to your dad about it. Ask him why he doesnt want you talking to him, and explain to him how long you guys have been dating and the feelings that you have for him & try and make your dad understand your point of view & how it hurts you that he doesnt want you talking to him anymore. Just try talking it out and see how that goes and once he gives you an answer just go from there.

Q: There is this guy that i like but i dont know if he likes me. We talk like evryday for at least like two hours. We are either talking on the phone, texting, or talkin on MSN. But he is always asking me if i like him. But these past like two days i have been trying to talk to him but he wont pick up his phone or text me back or e-mail me back. What is going on? Does he like me or is he just mad at me for the moment? What should i do?

I think possibly, he might think that you dont like him and is getting discouraged and maybe a little embarassed because he might feel as if hes wasting his time. I'm not sure really because that isnt much info. to go on but if hes possibly like the type of guy I'm thinking, he might just be wanting to get away from it for a little bit because he might be feeling strong feelings and is unsure about them and doesnt know how you feel, and doesnt want to get his hopes up to get hurt you know ? Let it be for a little bit and when hes ready to talk, he will come to you.

Q: Okay So to make a super long story short...i met this guy about a week ago(on the internet)....and i lied to him about what i looked like...where i lived, etc. etc. and well 2 days after meeting him, he found out i was fake and i had to confess and he stopped talking to me...well 2 days ago i IMed him and asked if we could start over...and he said no...he told me he was thinking about talking to me but not anymore because he thinks i'm weird and obsessed with him (because i was constantly sending him messages to try and explain) and i sent him one last message on myspace saying that if he would have just listened to me from the beginning then i wouldnt seem so stalker-ish.... :( is there any hope for me and him to become friends again in the future? or should i just forget him? I dont want to forget him because he is super nice and pretty cool from what i can tell...should i try and make things work or should i leave him alone and let him come to me....WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!?!? Thanks to anyone who answers :)

Eh.. If hes going to be a dick and jump to conclusions thinkin that you are obsessive because you were trying to explain yourself than I think hes high on himself and he needs to come off his pedistool and back to reality. I dont think hes worth your time basically. He's jsut some kid on the internet anyways, and you only talked to him for 2 days so its not like it was going to go to marriage levels, lol you know? I say just leave it alone and dont bother talking to him until he IMs you. If he does. You can find guys in your area that are way nicer than him. =D

Q: i am a 17 year old male haveing problems with my x-girl frien she was really controlling like on new years i wanted to go to a party on new years and she did not want me to go { i think that she did not trust me } and we broke up well i am talking to her again and i do not know if i should go back out with her or not so can u help me plz

I wouldnt go back out with her until you see that she has changed. When people are controlling and jealous in a relationship and if they dont have trust then you basically have nothing. Dont go back out with her until you se that she trusts you as a friend, and if shes able to do that then see if shes able to trust you as mroe by testing it, and if it still isnt there then break up with her and tell her you cant be with her until she can learn to trust, because it isnt fair to you.