Hi, I call myself Ignatz after Dan Herriman's character in the old "Krazy Kat" comic strip. I'm 44, father of 3, husband to one, crazy about music and books and food and movies and history and martial arts. I've had some wild and crazy times in my life, and I figure I might as well put in some of my perspective.
I promise not to talk down to anyone or make fun,and I promise not to BS anyone. If you're old enough to ask a frank question, you're old enough to get a frank answer. Oh, and if you ask me a question directly, please be patient. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My life's a bit hectic. :-)
Gender: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: Professional dad
Age: 44
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 328
Last Update: January 23, 2015
Visitors: 35622
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So, here it is. In black and white. I have been seeing this guy for 10 yrs. I love him and he was my first everything. When we met he was getting a divorce and she knew about me and everything but since he has waffled and continues to go back and forth. He now lives with her and they have two children together. He spends all of his free time with me but recently I have found myself getting depressed and tired of the way things are. I asked him to please make good on his promise to me and he says he will but he can not say when. I know he loves me but he asks so much of me and I ask so little of him. He wants me to not wear makeup or have my cell phone and I have not gotten my license b/c he likes me needing him. I am 27 by the way. What do I do? I broke up with him a week ago but he started crying and has been treating me really well and he had been taking me for granted for so long but I am afraid he will go back to the same ole' same ole'. I have never had any self esteem and I am fighting him to wear makeup b/c it makes me feel a little better about myself but he does not see that. Advice please. (link)
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Wow. Sounds like you're in a pretty tough spot. Your first everything, no matter who it is, always occupies a major place in your mind and heart. Sometimes that place can become too important and cause you to maintain something that should be allowed to fade away. (I had that experience with a woman many years ago. I was her first, and because of that we were more devoted to each other than we should have been. We should have broken up years before we finally did.)
You say you've been dating this guy since you were 17, and that he was married then. Am I right in saying that he's older than you? From where I'm sitting, it seems that you're outgrowing him. What you wanted at 17 is not what you want at 27, and what you want he can't seem to provide.
You, however, are providing everything that he wants. He's got a good thing going: a wife and kids on the one hand, and a play toy on the other. You say that he likes for you to need him, and that he doesn't want you to wear makeup or have a cell phone or drive. It sounds to me that he's trying to control you and keep you as dependent as possible. If you start valuing yourself and developing a life away from him, you'll figure out that he's not that great a catch. And he's not, really.
Think about it this way: let's say he leaves his wife and takes up with you. Who's to say he won't drop you just as soon as a younger model comes along? He made promises to his wife that he won't keep, and it's a safe bet that he won't keep his promises to you.
So here comes the advice: you can do better than this. You deserve better than this. You deserve to look as good as you want, to have a cell phone and a driver's license and a man who will treat you with all the respect you deserve. So get yourself some makeup, study for the license exam, and find a cellphone contract you can handle. Then dump him. Make it as surgical as possible: no calls, no letters, no e-mail, no contact whatsoever. If he cries, give him a Kleenex and send him home to his wife. (Believe me, you don't need a crybaby.)
His happiness is not your responsibility, and he has no right to play games with your head. You do not have to convince him of anything, you do not have to answer to him, you owe him nothing. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself, you deserve dignity and beauty and independence.
Good luck, and I hope this helps.
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I am a believer in Christ but i want to know about satanism...salem and all of that. Is that bad? I want to search about it but i am scared of what might be the outcome...God might think I am a sinner. I do not want to convert or anything i am just curious...so if anybody has any sites or any suggestions or just any comment that can be beneficial towards me i wil really really appriciate it.
Thank you. (link)
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To (mis)quote Galileo: "I cannot believe that the God that endowed me with reason expects me not to use it."
Nothing wrong with wanting to learn more. Definitely read up on as much as you can; it will inform and strengthen your faith.
Some people consider modern Satanism to be a pagan religion. Personally, I see it as a Christian apostasy. Paganism is entirely separate from Christian contexts and concepts, whereas Satanism defines itself in opposition to Christianity. They essentially believe that humanity has no spiritual aspect, that everything is and should be devoted to the physical. There is no God, no sin, and no salvation in Christ. Satan is a mythical character similar to Santa Claus. Everyone is personally and completely responsible for what they do, good and bad.
Many Satanists consider other religions to be giant scams intended to control people and keep them from thinking for themselves and really being happy. Some use Satanism as an excuse to party hearty, do a lot of drugs, have sex with anything that moves, and get revenge on anybody that makes them angry. Others use it as a framework to establish fiercely ethical and personally responsible lives.
(As an aside, the Salem Witch Trials had nothing to do with Satanism. It was a case of mass hysteria. Three girls started asking a slave named Tituba about love charms. Their parents found out, and Tituba was tortured. She made up some crazy stories which were believed by the local authorities. The three girls found themselves at the center of a lot of attention, and they made up even crazier stories to keep the focus on them. Most of the accused were recent arrivals in the area, refugees from King George's War farther north. They weren't Puritans like the locals, so they dressed and behaved differently. It was very easy to believe that they were secretly evil. When it was all over, nineteen women and one man were dead. There are a number of good books out there.)
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what is it? and what is a freemason? i dont know much about them, but would prefer an answer which isn't dumbed down too much. peace and love. (link)
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Okay, here's the thumbnail sketch:
Freemasonry is an international fraternal and charitable organization, dedicated to good citizenship, personal improvement, and good works in the community. Some freemasons trace the origins of Freemasonry back to Hiram, the architect of the Temple of Solomon. Others trace it to the medieval stonemason's guild organizations. The first real records we have of Masonic lodges go back to the 1600s.
Freemasons must be men over the age of 21 who profess a personal belief in a deity. Which deity, they don't care. Non-Christians of every stripe are welcome in Masonic lodges. Discussion of politics or of business is prohibited, at least in American lodges. There is some mysticism and ritual involved, but it's mostly to shake people up and get them to think about what it means to try to make things right. They do a lot of fundraising and community activities, their youth groups (DeMolay for boys, Job's Daughters and Rainbow for girls) get the younger generations involved, they run retirement homes and charitable hospitals; in short, they're not as scary or suspicious as they might sound.
The Freemasons used to be much more extensive in American society. It used to be a social requirement for more affluent men to join a local lodge, so they could establish connections and improve the community. As exclusive, men-only organizations have fallen out of vogue, Masonic membership and influence have declined. They're basically a bunch of older guys who are trying to create some positive change in their communities. (They don't secretly run the US government.)
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Am 20years old. Am still a vrigin but when am playing with my boy friend he cum and pour it on my laps. Am afriad some touch my virginal. Am afriad i might be pregnant. Please tell explain to me. (link)
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If he's not actually inside you, you won't get pregnant. Not even if it touches the outside. It has to get right up against your cervix and into your uterus, you have to be ovulating, all sorts of things have to be right. But it all comes down to penetration. If he's not penetrating, you can't get pregnant.
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16-f
im the kinda girl that has alot of friends but no real best friend.
and ive always been against preps & cheerleaders
but my school very small 300 people
we have only 2 cheerleaders and i was thinking of joining as long as i dont change who i am.
do you think me becomming a cheerleader will change me so that my friends & boyfriend wont like me anymore. (link)
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For you, is cheerleading something you do, or something you are?
You don't have to change your basic, friendly self in order to support your school and wear the uniform. It's very easy to think "Well, I'm a cheerleader now, so I have to be all bubbly and cheerful and dippy and treat everybody like garbage." Says who?
Ultimately, you decide how you behave as a person, and taking on a new activity does not have to change you.
Hope this helps.
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This sounds so bad.. But I need some entertainment.
So, where can I find celebrity 'hate sites'? (link)
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gofugyourself.com is good for celebrity hate. Pretty darn funny too.
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What does god want from me? I am 13 and been a christian for 7 years but last month I realized that I need to have a better relationship with god all help is valued. I will take all advice and try to use it..
Allie (link)
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As others have said, you're going to get conflicting advice about how to seek a deeper relationship with God. Everybody reaches this point at some time in their lives. It can be a pretty exciting time.
If you see God as the Father, and seek to be a child of God, remember that part of a father's job is to make sure the kids grow up. God's going to send you a lot of curveballs and unusual circumstances to see what you do with them. Don't expect all your troubles to vanish, simply because you're pious.
Do a lot of reading: definitely read as much of the Bible as you can, but also read theologians: C. S. Lewis, Madeline L'Engle, Robert Farrar Capon, Matthew Fox, St. Teresa of Avila, Meister Eckhart, Richard Bach, on and on and on. Read, learn, and think.
Find the things that bring you joy. Not just make you happy or feel good, but actual joy. Learn how to make something, or play a simple instrument, or volunteer somewhere, or make movies or podcasts, write poetry or stories or fanfics, cook good food, find something that feeds your soul and do it diligently. This will help you figure out who and what you are, and will help you define your relationship with God.
Finally, remember this classic line from "The Frisco Kid": "...[H]e doesn't make rain. He gives us strength when we're suffering. He gives us compassion when all that we feel is hatred. He gives us courage when we're searching around blindly like little mice in the darkness... but He does not make rain! [Thunder and lightning begin, followed by a downpour] Of course... sometimes, just like that, he'll change His mind."
Good luck.
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I come from a very religious family and go to a christian school.
We talked about God all the time in classes and mostly good things.
God is all about love, forgiving, a way of life.
The thing is, that we were only being tought just chosen quotes and not the hole thing.
I bumped across this site that has all those particular stuff chosen from The Bible, The Old and New Testament and I found out crazy evil stuff inside there.Horrible stuff. Of course I am not gonna argue with my parents, let them think whatever OR my friends.
This has really been a life changing experience for me, something really mind opening and a new way of life free out of human stupidity.
Stupidity that tells you "Dont be evil cause you ll burn in hell", when it should actually be more like "Dont be evil cause you shouldn t be".
Or sayings against premarital sex or "Smoking sends you to hell" and that drinking is evil.
I get drunk like twice a year, and dont feel the need to drink more and more. And by drunk I mean a little bit tipsy.
Or why is oral sex evil and immoral? What harm does it do?Its been a while since I found joy in both giving and receiving it lol...
In case you were wondering, this is the site
http://www.truechristian.com/confessionboothx.html.
It talks about, slavery, in breeds (Lot) and put things in a way new perspective.
I have validated the facts from the bible.All it takes is make a little extra reading from what they tell you to read in school.And you are free to find out for yourself.
Of course I am not going to turn Muslim, the Allah religion is way more obscene and violent.
But I do believe in soul and one true god.
I also do believe in Jesus as an historical figure and share the same philosophy. All the good things he said.
But priests, school, religious people and books written by people, rules build by people (for instance oral sex.drinking,smoking) are violating Jesus work and the real Gods work.
No I dont expect Jesus to be smoking, but he was a human and a God. And there is no need for some being to expect from us to not be doing those stuff if that greater being gave us the present of life in the first place.
Do you suppose there is another sub christian party that works according to my beliefs? Of course I dont mean a church where people get drunk or something, but a church that celebrates life just as God intented instead of looking forward to death. (link)
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Okay. That website is written as a parody of Biblical literalists and conservative attitudes. In no way should it be treated seriously.
Also, much of the early books of the Bible are to be taken as metaphor. Genesis is not an accurate history of the world; rather it is a series of stories told by people in an effort to define themselves and their place in the universe. (To refer back to the story of Lot and his daughters, the whole point of the seduction story is to explain the origins of the Ammonite and Moabite nations. The sins of Sodom and Gomorrah are clearly defined in Ezekiel 16:49, but that's another rant.)
You might want to look into the Episcopal Church; there are some conservative, literalist elements, but mostly they value intellectual rigor and good works over obedience. If you find them too dogmatic, there's the Unitarian Universalists. Definitely do some reading. Fr. Robert Farrar Capon is a good writer and theologian (check out 'The Feast of the Lamb' especially), as is Fr. Matthew Fox ('Original Blessing'). For a real eye-opener, check out "The Unexpected Jew" by Amy-Jill Levine. It's an examination of Jesus as a first-century Jew, and how his teachings fit into the greater context of rabbinical thought. It's slow going, but well worth it.
Finally, keep one thing in mind. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Light. No one comes to the Father except through me." This means that Jesus decides who gets into Heaven. Not the teachers, not the ministers, not the scholars or lawmakers, not anybody but Jesus. In Matthew 25 he states who he's looking for: not the ones who cry "Lord, Lord," but the ones who visit the sick , feed the hungry, and clothe the naked. What you do with your life is much more important than whether or not you smoke occasionally.
Congratulations: you've just taken your first steps into a larger world.
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I was just cast in the school musical, Beauty and the Beast, as one of Gaston's 4 "silly girls"-- what is this role? Is it a lead? Will I have a lot of stage time? Or solos? (link)
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It's a supporting role. You're cast as one of the four girls who are always following Gaston around and drooling over his hairy pecs. You'll probably get some singing parts, but no solos unless they've drastically rewritten the show.
Nothing wrong with a supporting role, though. In my first high school play, I was cast as a guard. I stood in one place and looked menacing. I did a good job and didn't complain about the small part, so next time around I got a bigger part, and a bigger one. Just rock whatever part you get, and make sure you work on your chops for the next audition.
Hope this helps.
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What are some good Rap/Hip-hop songs from the 90s
SOme Classics
Also some good rappers from then
(link)
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I'll give you a list of my favorite artists and albums from that time period. It's pretty heavily skewed towards the acid-jazz stuff, but that's just me.
Okay, going back to my college years here:
Public Enemy, "Fear of a Black Planet"
Dr. Dre, "The Chronic" (first appearance of Snoop Doggy Dogg
Digital Underground, "Sex Packets"
Digable Planets, "Reachin' (A New Refutation of Time and Space)"
GURU, "Jazzmatazz Vol.1"
Various, "Stolen Moments: Red Hot & Cool"
A Tribe Called Quest, "People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm"
Wu-Tang Clan, "Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)"
Should be plenty there for the cogitatin' and booty-shakin'.
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Well this Chrismas I'm gonna see if I can get a guitar to teach myself how to play one. But one thing is I don't know how to play it all and dunno how to hold it, like if your a righty does the long part lay on ur left hand? Another thing is my parents won't let me get one unless I know how to play one but I don't have one! Well my dad has one of those mexican guitars but I wanna learn using one of those rocker ones which brings to: do you first need learn the basics of playing a guiar using a mexican one or can you learn if you use a rocker one to teach yourself with. Lastly if I do get a rocker one does anyone which kind/brand would be good to practice with and where to get it? (places like walmart,best buy, only ones I know that I saw had guitars.) (link)
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Okay. If you're right-handed, the long part (neck) goes in your right hand. The thickest string always goes on top. There are a number of self-guided courses out there; the classic one is by Mel Bay, though there are others. A lot of them come with instructional DVDs.
In your position, I'd start by learning to play your dad's acoustic guitar. All the notes and basic techniques are the same as for an electric guitar; once you can play chord progressions and so forth then you can start messing around with effects and whammy bars and all the weirdness the electric guitar is capable of. Just keep in mind that Jimi Hendrix started with a guitar made from a cigar box, a broomstick, and wire from a screen door. Good luck!
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Okay, I just bought a guitar, its a Schecter Dimond Series, and when I strum its makes a sound like the string is hitting one of the frets. It is in tune, and I would like to know how I could solve this, It is extreamly annoying. Please help (link)
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Are you strumming in an open tuning, or playing a chord? Chances are, one of the frets was installed unevenly and is bumping against the string. Pluck each string in turn and see which one buzzes, then play that string from lowest to highest fret to see where the buzz stops.
Where did you huy the guitar? If you bought it at a music store, you should be able to take it back and have a luthier file down the fret. I wouldn't recommend doing it yourself, as it requires a special very fine file.
Hope this helps.
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how old do you have to be to get birth control without your parent's consent? (link)
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Depends on the birth control, and on the state you live in. Generally, obtaining any prescription medication requires your parents' consent until you turn 18, so there's a good guideline. Condoms are still available without a prescription, and in my humble opinion, any guy who won't wear a condom deserves a permanent case of blue balls.
Hope this helps.
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Well, I am trying to lose weight, and I work out for track about an hour everyday. However, I need help on the eating part.
What are some quick, easy and healthy things I could make for lunch at school, or breakfast on the go?
and I'm anemic, so what some things that have a lot of iron in them? (link)
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As a father of two, I'm pretty busy myself. What I do is make a giant omelet: 3-4 bell peppers, a pound of mushrooms, some scallions, cheese and about a dozen eggs. I sautee the vegetables until they're soft, season appropriately, add the eggs, then put the whole thing in the oven at about 400 degrees until the eggs have set. Cut it into wedges, wrap in foil, and freeze. 5 minutes in the microwave, and there's breakfast.
Foods with a lot of iron: beans, lentils, meat, fish, poultry, bell peppers, broccoli, fruits such as cantaloupe and strawberries, etc. If you have access to a microwave or Thermos, you might want to try split-pea or lentil soup for lunch (at least in the winter) or hummus and pita. If you're seeing a nutritionist for your anemia, ask detailed questions.
One other thing: cook in cast iron pans. Whatever you cook will absorb iron from the pan. (Nonstick pans are bad for you anyway.)
Hope this helps.
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Me and my friends are in desperate need of a song for our school talent show im in 8th grade and we definiatly((dont mind my spelling :P)) dont want one that has been *recently* or is on the radio, we would like an upbeat song..thats not too fast but not too slow! if you have any suggestions you can help me on here or if its easier I.M me [on AIM] at glamourxpros thanks alot!! :) (link)
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Are you singing the song, or doing a dance routine?
If you're doing a dance routine, then I'd recommend anything by Fatboy Slim. "Weapon of Choice" or "Gangsta Trippin" are really good.
For a vocal routine, look for an album called "Tomfoolery". It's a Broadway show adapted from the works of Tom Lehrer. They may not let you sing "The Masochism Tango", and "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" may get you a long visit to the counselor, but "New Math" and "The Periodic Table of Elements" should be just academic enough.
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any one on here know where the spot of the bible, where it predicts 9/11, and the end of the world an such. please be specific, dont just be like THE NEW TESTAMENT!
thanks !!
any help is appriciated. (link)
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9/11 is not predicted in the Bible. The Book of Revelations is the last book of the Bible, and does present a vision of the end of the world, but it is metaphorical rather than prophetic. (The Beast is a metaphor for the Roman Emperor Nero, for example.) Revelations is not the only apocalyptic work from that time period and place, but for whatever reason the compilers of the Bible decided to include it.
Hope this helps.
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About a week ago, I felt very uncomfortable. I was talking to someone during school, and somehow we got into the conversation of homosexuality.
She was disgusted, blunt about how all gay people should be burned to death, that they chose to be rebellious and gay and they would rot in hell forever. I, myself, am not gay, but I was so taken back by what she was saying. I told her that I did not believe in God, and that I believe that people do not choose their sexual orientation. Mind you, I am not ignorant. I was raised to believe in God, but as I have gotten older (17) I have realized my own views.
She flat out told me that I was going to hell along with all the gays, muslims, buddhists, non-believers, jews, etc; Asked why I was defending gays, and then decided to accuse me of being gay for not agreeing that gays are disgusting.
I stayed calm, and asked he what she would do if she birthed a gay child. She told me should would lock it in a closet or in their room and not let it come out until it was straight.
I am just feel offended and imposed upon. Just because I do not believe in the same thing she, or the majority of people in my area (i live in the south) do, doesn't mean I should be yelled at and accused, and meant to felt horrible about myself.
I don't impose my views upon others, but I just felt so uncomfortable when she was basically giving me a one way ticket to hell.
Should I just forget about it, and disregard her?
Help. :/ (link)
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The next time somebody tells you you're going to Hell, just ask them when they figured out they were Jesus. When they've stopped choking, tell them to read John 14:6. "I am the Way, The Truth, and the Light. None comes to the Father but through me."
Jesus decides who gets into Heaven. Not them, not their church, not their misguided readings of Scripture, not any individual Christian or congregation of Christians, not anybody but Jesus. It is by His grace that anybody gets to Heaven.
Then send them over to Matthew 25. Jesus isn't interested in displays of piety, but in good works and righteous living. Finally, ask them when was the last time they helped out at a homeless shelter, or visited people at a nursing home or hospital. Then hand them a tissue so they can get that log out of their eye.
You may not believe in Scripture, but it's a good idea to be familiar with it so you can successfully argue with someone who isn't. Unfortunately, a lot of people who profess Christianity aren't familiar with familiar with Scripture. They know a few verses that have been cherry-picked for them, and they don't look at the greater contexts. The whole homosexuality thing is the subject of another rant, which I will save for later.
In short, ignore her, but be ready for the next one.
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Ok well I'm meeting my heroes twice in a day, so me and my friend decided for kicks we'd dress all 'punk/emo' the first time we meet them then girlie the second time.
I've got the punk bit down, but not the girlie. On Sunday me and my friend are going shopping for the clothes. Obviously I don't want to buy really expensive clothes as I'll never wear them again. So I'm thinking of going to one of those second hand shops poor people and old ladies shop at. They may not have the most trendiest clothes but I'll be able to find something.
So...what sorta clothes should I look for? I know it's hard to say because they dont have online catalogues and it's hard to know what clothes they will have but what should I be looking out for?
Also, I'm thinking of buying a long skirt and then just cutting it to what length I'd like, so it's just the top I'm looking for.
What styles colours etc? Also, I'm not trying to be anti-myself it's just a true fact, I'm a little bit chubby so it can't be something like, sexy :P
Thanks in advance. (link)
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You'd be surprised at what you can find at thrift stores. A number of major retailers donate unsold inventory to thrift stores. I've found Gap shirts and Dockers khakis with the labels still on them. I've also found very good quality business suits and vintage overcoats. The stuff will be inexpensive, but if you know what you're looking for it won't be bad quality.
And who says you can't rock teh sexy if you're a little chubby? Work what you got! Most of sexiness is just attitude. You don't have to look like a toothpick.
Remember the old joke: "A fashion designer is someone who hates women and wants everyone to know it."
Hope this helps
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Okay so I really really really want to get abs or anything!
I am 121 lbs and 13/f.
I think thats overwieght.
everytime i want to start a diet i lose my motivation. and i dont want my parents to find out because they will be like "your beautiful the way you are"... and all that crap.
so what are some good workout moves, and motivation ideas, and i need to stop eating icecream and stuff like that so any ideass?
sorry for all the questions
thankss (link)
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As far as diet goes, the best recommendation I can make is to eat clean. Don't eat anything out of a box, a can, or a bag (unless it's bagged vegetables). Processed foods have a lot of really unhealthy stuff in them (salt, high-fructose corn syrup, preservatives, etc.) so avoid them. Try to cut out white bread, white flour pasta, potatoes, and white rice. Hide the ice cream in the back of the freezer and the snack food someplace you can't see it. Your brain craves what it sees, and if all it sees is fruit, veggies, etc, that's what it will want. If you tell your parents that you want to eat healthily, they'll be thrilled.
The one thing you MUST NOT DO is starve yourself. If you stop eating your body will go into famine mode and pack on as much weight as it can. You need to start showing your body that it can let go of the reserves, and that means eating. Lots of veggies, a little fruit, whole grains, gallons of water.
Remember, 'diet' is just 'die' with a 't' on the end.
Again, don't think about weight or your rating on the Body Mass Index. It doesn't take into account body composition or frame size. For example, according to the BMI, a 5' 11" 240-lb bodybuilder would be mildly obese. Most of his bodyweight is muscle, but according to that magic number he's obese. Also, take into account the fact that you're still growing, and your body's going to change pretty radically over the next five to seven years. Do fun exercise, and concentrate on eating healthily and well.
Hope this helps.
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Hi.
I am in need of SSAA, SSA, SAA, or even just SA choir music for solo & ensemble.
Can anyone give me names of songs & websites to get them from?
(link)
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Chaeck out cdpl.org and musicaviva.org. Both sites offer free sheet music in a variety of styles and arrangements. One song I can think of offhand is "Novus Miles Sequitur". It's a medieval hymn, written for three voices in close harmony (organon). It's usually done by two tenors and a baritone, but you could easily do it for two sopranos and an alto.
Hope this helps.
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