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February 27, 2010Answers:
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About you: You have come here because you are searching for someone to help you. Everyone needs help now and again. My mission is to make a difference in the lives of others. About me: Expert Listener, Nurturer, Chat with me and we will "make a way, find a way" to get through things together. I offer advice in Parenting, Loneliness, Nurturing, Friendship, Relationships, and some areas of medicine. If you have needs that are beyond my scope of expertise, I will redirect you to someone who can and will help you.
Education: Completion of nursing school, many specialty certificates, ranging from Emergency Medical Tech to Scrub Nurse. 25 + years of clinical experience, Mother of 5 and life coach to hundreds.
advice
im 16 and i qualified nation wide for a medical college course for summer. were going to study and live and on hand help. its sooo amazing to me i wana go so bad. i want to be a doctor of many types. :) it made me so happy to get such a big thing in the mail with a gold seal and many stamps :) but the thing it it costs nearly $3000 and i dont have the money for that. and my friends dont want me to go. and im shy around new people and il be going across the country alone and living there for a week or two. its my dream to do stuff like this. but im scared. and dont have enough $. what can i do, what should i do, any advice on this?? also has anyone else ever done this and could tell me about it?? also how could i fix the money and shyness issues? 16/f
Congratulations! This is a very exciting opportunity and likely it is one you have earned by having good grades, high scores on testing, and respectful relationships with your teachers and advisors who often fill out lists for these programs as recommendations for who to contact.
With the economy as poor as it is, it is hard to find donors to pay for these. I have 5 children, and have seen a few things similar to this over the years. On the one hand it is so very enticing and feels wonderful to be selected. On the other hand, it is a tease because they put it out there and dangle it infront of you and then make it virtually impossible to accomplish.
What we did? We took the letter and information, kept it special. Gave it a place of honor on the wall for awhile and then in a memory box for later, used specific information quotes from it for college applications and job applications in the "honors and accomplishments" section. Being "nominated" for this course can spin into many other opportunities for you.
As far as wanting to find ways to keep in touch with your strong medical interests, there are a few things you may not know about: Being a volunteer, at a large nursing home or medium sized hospital, will earn you trust with important people in medical administration. There are scholarships educational opportunities available locally, and they would have first hand knowledge of those things. You might start off as a candy striper, but as the professional medical staff gets used to seeing you around, you will be included in conversation involving medical terminology, disease states, diagnoses and treatment courses. Take seriously the kudos this will provide on your college and job applications as well.
I am excited for you, and know that if you SPIN this into an esteem building experience, it will be a sound step towards more opportunities. Good luck!
Dear Susie
There was a boy band/group from Long Island called I'm not Tellin' but alson known as I.N.T. They performed a few conserts at WIlliam Floyd Middle school in Moriches, New York. The guy Donnie Kland form making the Band 4 was in this group. I'm tryingto find their website but I can't remember the name or find it anywhere on google. Their cd was called Hip Pop. anyone find out the website and help me out a little please?
do you know any of the lyrics of the songs? do a google search for a free lyrics website and see if you can locate them with some keywords that are unique to their songs...
good luck!
So im in a long distance relationship.
my boyfriend goes to school about 350 miles away.
now, you know how the smallest things matter in a long distance relationship?
when we video chat, he actually ignores me. hes a car fanatic, so hes on his stupid car websites seaching stuff for his stupid car. watching youtube videos of his car, he talks to his roommate (who is in the room 24/7) about cars.
i mean come on.... seriously? me being ignored caused me to get so heated... so i havent videochatted him in 2 weeks. i refuse.
he never puts me on his facebook status. we've been going out for a year and a half now... and he has only put me on 8 times. no joke. ive put him on EVERY single DAY i put up that i love him, i put up that he means the world to me, i put up when im wiht him..... ugh
i know facebook isnt the world, but you nkow how the smallest things mean so much to you?
my friend is in a relationship with a guy who goes to school in the same area and him and my boyfriend are friends.
my friends boyfriend make his status "so lucky with have her" and cute stuff like that.
when my friend and her boyfriend videochat, he calls her beautiful, he tells her shes his world and all that cute stuff.
her and her boyfriend have tons of pictures together. prob about 100+. me and ryan have about 15....
oh and her and her boyfriend have been going out for 8 months.
10 less months then ryan and i
but... i HAVE talked to him about it. but he continues to ignore me on videochat, and continues to not do anything to "publicize" our relationship. im not asking for much... im asking for some attention and for something to make me smile.... :/
what should i do now? ugh i dont know what to do!
Your previous answerers were right. You don't have to put up with the video chat, infact, you have already empowered yourself to "just say no". The thing is, from a guys perspective, if you were in the same room with him, sitting next to him on the sofa and he had the internet up on his laptop or was playing video games, you would be equally ignored. He would be fully engaged though. You are bored, he is satisfied. He has everything he needs. He can play with finding his car stuff, hang with his roommate and communicate in a normal fashion with the world around him while his girl is by his side.
I am NOT suggesting that you allow yourself to be a doormat like this, I am just trying to depersonalize the painful part of this. Unless he is negative in his FB status, or mean to you during those video sessions, he is just busy making other things his priority. THAT IS A MATURITY ISSUE, his not yours, and you can't change that. If he matures more, he will make a much more attentive boyfriend. In the meantime, maybe make yourself a little less available and definitely find other more positive relationships and activities to spend your time on. That way you can feel good about yourself in ways that don't just depend on his attention. You may find him to be much more interested in you if you are not as easily available.
Take it easy, don't personalize it, and if he is just a sh&^&%&* boyfriend, then dump him and move on.
I would be happy to chat with you about this anytime, you can find me at LPDearSusie@gmail.com.
Good luck!
i have a friend and shes friendly and a nice girl, but the thing is something is about her is distant and reserved. She seems to block people in a way but i really dont know what it is, but sometimes its hard for me to approach her does she have trust issues?
Exotica is exactly right. This young woman needs a confidante, a close friend to help her move forward in her personal growth and face any issues she may be having in other areas of her life, but she has to invite you in first.
You might show her that you care by mentioning a similar experience, guessing trust at this point, it is called mirroring and if she sees you as a little bit vulnerable and needing a friend as well, you might get inside her world faster. Just let her know that we all have things we have to face, and many of them are things we would rather not talk about, but that you are there for her when she needs to talk. You might also recommend this anonymous website for her, or to my personal email as well LPDearSusie@gmail.com, just to have someone "invisible" to talk it through with.
Good luck, and kudos to you for being such a good friend!
I was molested when I was between 6-8 years old. It's funny in a sick way because I can't even remember how old I actually way, I can't remember the names of the two boys, I can hardly even remember the sex. I remember the fear so vividly that my heart's racing as Im'm typing this. It's also funny because a decade passed where I didn't feel anything about what happened. I never cried about it, talked about it, I barely entertained the thought of it, not because it was painful but because it was like an errant thought. It was like losing your tooth, just a part of life. I actually feel immensely stupid now when I think of all the effects of that incident that I never recognized to have been caused by that. Until a couple days ago, I never even associated the word 'molested,' with what happened. It was just a thing. Recently, this scrawny, awkward, pathetic boy decided to 'stalk,' me. I could've broken him in two if I wanted, but he scared the life out of me and I didn't understand why. The next day I found myself on the bathroom floor crying like I'd never thought I would over something that seemed so unimportant. I wanted to cut myself and I wanted to bleed and feel pain like I'd never felt it before- that was the first time in months I ever got the urge to cut. I wanted every vice I could lay my hands on to drown myself in the ridiculious nature of my problems. I never realized that my molestation was the reason I'd be afraid of a room of men, or that I was afraid when my boyfriend (at the time) tried to hold on to me or kiss me aggresively, that I hated intimacy with people of any sort, that I hated any man who'd disrespect my body in any way. It's like someone telling you that you were asleep for 10 years and you've been woken up to a world u don't want to be in. I've been through hell and back...but molestation....can that, something I barely remember yet so vividly feel, could have really been controlling my life for so long? It hurts me in the pit of my stomach and at the back of my throat when I think about it, and now I have to deal with this thing that I've let control me for so long. I cud've dealt with it if it happened recently, but a decade ago..I don't know where to begin. I feel stupid and helpless and I don't even know what i'm trying to ask.
You did one of the only things a small child could be expected to do. You "coped" with it by blocking it. And even though you are now suffering, and I in no way am down playing the intensity of your pain or it's justificiation, the coping your mind did was amazing. You functioned, somewhat difficultly, but nonetheless functioned for many years.
It's wonderful that you have had this epiphany regarding the origin of your anxiety and fears. This will save you lots of upstart time in therapy. Please seek the help of a counselor or trusted medical professional, or call the rape crisis line to get a referral. You might even want to google for a support group online if you cannot access one locally or afford counseling.
In the end, when all is said and done, you will need counseling to move forward. Take your time, be patient with the process, it took a long time to recall the event, it will take awhile to decipher it's affect on your life and how you can use this new information about yourself to better equip you for future, positive relationships both casual and intimate.
Please feel free to contact me anytime if you just want to talk, LPDearSusie@gmail.com.
Good luck, and remember, this is the first step to happy things... an awakening, if you will. Keep it as positive a process as possible, THIS part you can try to control and have an impact on.
ok im noot trying to insult touch anyones nerves here.. merely asking for some help on homework =)
iv had to do a lifestyle questionaire.. and fiill it out (as a made up person)
and then we could write about it
i decided i want my guy to have had breast cancer.
HAD = past tense... therefore he doesnt have it anymore
would this issure affect how he excersizes? or any of his everyday life?
You found the right person to ask about this...
My father is a breast cancer survivor. He had a cyst beneath his nipple and it was cancerous. In men, breast cancer usually has worse survival rates, partly because of the limited tissue for the cancer to grow (no real breast tissue) so it is more invasive more quickly to the other organs, etc.
I don't know the current statistics, but thousands of men get breast cancer diagnosed every year.
My father ended up with 2 surgeries, both were considered full mastectomies, and they remove lymph nodes and muscle tissue as well as fatty tissue in the area, just like with a woman.
So, in recovery, issues with arm and chest muscle strength are an issue, as well as swelling of the arms, armpit areas because of excess lymph fluid that may have less glands to hold it.
Is that helpful and what you needed? It has been many years since his surgery, and he has had a full recovery, physically, he has full mobility of both arms and all the muscles work as before, basically.
Please don't hesitate to ask more questions, and I appreciate your good rating!
Dear Susie...
I am just finishing up my gap year and plan on attending college for the fist time this fall. Three months ago my dad lost his job and is currently looking for another one. Tomorrow he will be interviewing for a job in Indiana (we live in Oregon).
If we were not moving, I would be applying to local universities and assuming that I would pay in-state tuition all four years. Now that staying in the state seems so unlikely I am at a loss as to where to apply. Does anyone know of any respectable four-year universities that won't cost me an arm and a leg. I am thinking about med school afterwords so I really need a high-quality education.
Is an online university an option? And if so, how do I make sure I still have a social life? Should I bother applying to the local schools or should I wait until our situation becomes a bit more clear. I have no idea when this will be resolved or when we will be moving. Any ideas?
I would get your FAFSA in on time, and make applications to the most likely community colleges in each of the areas or states that you may move to. Not a ridiculous number, but at this point many of the 4 year universities are already filled up for the fall semester as they receive applications starting even earlier in the school year.
Community College is MUCH less expensive, and you can sign up at the last minute if you choose to. Your advisor there will steer you towards classes that will transfer to a 4 year institution, and if they don't, take it into your own hands to get with an advisor who will. This is the most affordable way to attend college these days and most everyone I know who is not on a full scholarship does community college first.
Good luck!
Hi,
I'm a 23 year old female and I met my (then) best friend in college a few years back. Right off the bat, we became super close friends. We hung out all the time, talked on the phone almost every night, and not to mention saw each other in class almost everyday. After a few months, we started becoming flirty with each other -- staring, tickling, hugging, jokes, etc. I tried not to do it so much because I knew he had a girlfriend but I still couldn't help feeling the way I did. About 6 months into our friendship, he confessed that he liked me and wanted to date me. I resisted at first because I knew he was in a relationship but he insisted that it was over and he wanted to start over with me. I ended up confessing too and agreed to go out with him. We decided to hang out at his place a few nights later and I ended up drinking too much. The next thing I know, we're making out like mad but didn't have sex. The next day, he calls me and tells me that he's back with his girlfriend and that I didn't do anything wrong, but wouldn't explain why he got back with her so quickly after being with me the previous night. I became angry and embarrassed and felt completely heartbroken. After that, our friendship completely changed. He still called me, but I ignored his calls and made excuses not to hang out with him anymore. I became mean with him and tried to pretend like he didn't exist, to try and push him away, even though we still saw each other almost everyday. As time went by, he started ignoring me too and all communication ceased. But a few months ago, we started talking again and little by little, our friendship seemed to come back to life somewhat. We don't call each other often anymore, but we do talk alot more at school and whenever we see each other around town. While this makes me happy (I have missed his friendship horribly), the confusion is returning because he has become flirty again and makes suggestions about us hooking up. He is still with his girlfriend and living with her. She knows nothing about this. I believe that I am in love with him, and I believe that he still likes me, but I do not want to be used or destroy a relationship. I actually like his girlfriend, but my feelings for him are always tempting me. I have never felt this way before and I am tired of it, because it is nothing but a struggle for me. Should I get him out of my life completely? Or just ignore his flirting and try to continue to be friends like before? Being around him makes me happy, but the constant sadness is making me miserable. Please help me.
Brokenhearted
This is a clear example of somebody enjoying keeping you in the "back pocket". It makes him feel more confident, and keeps you hanging on.
I would make a clean break, put this one in your memory book highlighting the friendship and the good times, and learn a valuable lesson from this that guys and girls CAN be friends, but the chances it will become more, even by accident, are monumental.
That being said, I have always found friendships with guys to be easier than with girls, there are no little girl "head games", guys are straight with you on just about everything, not a lot of pointless manipulation. So, don't BEWARE, just protect your heart better. :)
Good Luck, please rate!
Susie
Does anybody know any good songs that help them get through hard times in relationships? Or just songs that are empowering to women and talk about respecting yourself and confidence......my bf cheated on me and music really helps alleviate my stress and make me feel better...i would appreciate your suggestions thank you
I have been cheated on, and it can be a long road back up. Feel free to email me ANYTIME for support: LPDearSusie@gmail.com. That way I can get you on my Blackberry and be more readily available. Chat me up...
Susie
We have roomate living with us who has crazy actions,What should I do?
What kind of crazy actions. Please provide many more details. I will be happy to discuss this with you. You can reach me directly at LPDearSusie@gmail.com.
Susie
I want to be a respiratory therapist.
Can I go to a 2 year community and tec. college, then to a university for 2 years. IF so what would the beak down of that be? And pros and cons.
It is always less expensive any way you slice it to work with a community college which partners with 4 year universities to make sure that you aren't taking courses that won't transfer.
You should get an appt with the academic or admissions advisors at community college right away.
Good luck!!
Hey
I'm a short female. I'm 20 years old, 5 feet even... and I'm not going to be growing any more.
I have a lot of trouble finding pants that fit me. I work in a place that doesn't allow blue jeans to be worn... which wouldn't be such a big deal if I could actually find the right kind of pants that fit me. They don't have to be fancy or anything. They can be black jeans, khakis of any color... I'd prefer casual, petite pants of some sort.
Anyways, I've asked this question before on advicenators.. but I didn't exactly get any responses that helped. (I appreciate the attempt though)
I need to find petite pants, but the websites people have sent me were ones that were at least 100 dollars for each pair of pants..... because usually they had to be custom designed, or they were designer pants, which is not exactly what I'm looking for. I want very cheap pants. Probably 30 dollars the absolute limit.
I need petite pants/jeans. I looked everywhere in stores, no one has what I want, and if they have petite it is NEVER in my size. I'm a size 3 around the waist, but whenever I try to buy pants online, it always skips size 3 and goes from a 2 straight to a 4... what does that mean? What would be the next size for me if I'm a size 3?
Please help! I'm getting sick of wearing the same pants over and over again because nothing else will fit. It's honestly extremely frustrating!
Please send good websites or names of stores. But I've tried so many places, I'm beginning to get discouraged.
Thanks so much.
The smallest shoe and clothing sizes go first off the rack, and they order the least of them. Also, they are the ones on display, almost always. So if you go to a mall store, ask to see the size on the display model. It may be yours. Most department stores will have a full petite department, so you will be looking for the clearance racks for khakis and such.
Finally, being 4'11 3/4, almost 5 foot!!! I can tell you with confidence that you should think seriously about these 2 ideas:
1) You can buy "liquid stitch" and easily shorten any well fitting pair of pants without hemming traditionally. $3.97 at Walmart in sewing section (handing on shelf wall in packaging, its a tube)
2) Capri pants are often sized for tall women, so especially in the summer time, my family's women all wear Capris, they are full length on us.
Please rate!
Thanks and good luck!
2)
19/f
I think i might be in love with my boyfriends best friend, what should i do?
THAT is a good question. Tell me more information about your situation. How long have you been dating, have you been exclusively seeing each other? Have you just met the best friend? What qualities are there in him that you don't see in your boyfriend? Let's chat via email, at your convenience: lpdearsusie@gmail.com when you have a few minutes, if you are serious about getting to the bottom of your feelings and making good decisions here. (Please rate me well as that assists me in helping others).
Look forward to hearing from you,
Dear Susie
so, i had the typical situation go down ( i tend to rant, so i'm trying to keep this short ) - he broke up with me and it's been a couple of days now and i've been thinking about it and i've realized basically why i think he broke up with me ( it was more me and personal issues i was having with myself, and i let it effect my relationship. ) but i think it's one of those things that now that i've realized it i can fix it. it took him leaving me to give me a real wake up call about it and now i would love to have another chance and see if i can make it work this time. when we were on the phone, it was more so me just quietly tearing up and him talking cause i wasn't really even sure what to say. i didn't want to sit there and defend myself and beg cause that just seemed stupid so all i really said was,"i don't know what to say, really. i mean i want to stay together, but if that's how you feel, i can't really change that." and then after some more tears and talking, i just let him get off the phone. now as lame as this sounds, i've been googling up tips and adivce online and alot of people said that was a good thing to do, so i'm glad on that. but here's where i'm nervous - his birthday is coming up soon, and i thought it might be a good thing to do ( to maybe make him think of me a little ) to just send a little casual "happy birthday" text his way. some sites though said that i should give it time and not say anything because by doing that it will make him curious and want to see what i'm up to and call me possibly. but other sites said that this might not work, me not contacting him might just have him think that i'm totally fine without him and that we can both move on, which i do NOT want to happen. and i mean on the phone he said it wasn't easy for him at all and i THOUGHT i heard some sniffling coming from his end ( but i put the possilbility in my mind that it could've just been the sound of him walking or something ) so i feel like there's still a chance there, i'm just not sure how to go exactly about doing it - i'm scared i'm going to make the wrong move and completley ruin all my chances.
i'm just asking for people's guys AND girls opinions on this. do you think i should text him? if you were a guy, would that make you not miss me, persay, but you know what i mean? and then what do you think i should do from there? let him be the next to contact me after or..?
i just need advice so bad. i'm nervous cause it's only a couple more days till his birthday and i'm just not sure what to do. i hope someone answers this question by then, i'd REALLY appreciate it.
The real question,is, what kind of issues is it that keep you from communicating together. Are you fighting, disagreeing, bored with each other, have different interests? Has there been infidelity in this or past relationships that are making this one insecure for either of you?
Texting him on his birthday is truly not a message to him. If your interest is to work out your issues and potentially get him back or have closure that works for you both, we need to chat about this more. I can help you individually or as a team, if you are able to get him involved, I will be willing to act as an inbetween for the two of you.
My experience as a life coach and mother of 5 puts me in the position of helping you. The next step is yours. I will need more details, if you are not comfortable putting them online, I will give you my email of lpdearsusie@gmail.com. We can chat back and forth that way, would be easier for me.
I understand the desire to just text him, you want him to think of you but want him to make the next move. However, it sounds like the ball is firmly in your court, and the next move is YOURS. Lets talk. (Please rate me, it helps me to help others)
Dear Susie
the only issue is i dont think that torrid and deb (the two plus stores in the area i live) will have swim suits in the next few weeks and i really need one now were goin on a school trip to florida and were gonna be swimming at the hotel so i need to look really good and it needs to be affordable....im looking for any suggestions as too wear to buy and or if anyone knows when torrid or deb will be putting out there swimwear lines.......thanks in advance for any suggestions
Have you tried Goodwill? Also, women are usually more than happy to share their swimsuits with others. Check around with other plus size friends and relatives. Beware, though, if you go too large, it will stretch in the water and make covering your less likely... Good luck!
is there a way to revive dried up markers
have you tried soaking the tips in a cup of warm water? Let them sit for 5-10 mins then cap them off and wait about an hour or so, they should come back to life, if there is any ink left in there. Good luck!
Ma'am, so international relations major in diplomacy minor in hospitality.. can this be good enough? please.. :)
Yes, internation relations is kind of a loosey goosey fits all. I would tighten that up with some commitment to business or language.
(19/f) when I woke up I went to the bathroom and as I wiped in the front.. i noticed a really thick mucus all over "it". It took quite a bit to get it all off. It was just a clear/white color and I didn't even notice it. I've never had this happen before. Any idea what it is or what caused it?
Thank you!
At different times during you cycle, you will notice that your discharge may change consistency, color, odor and or amount. Most of the this is normal, as long as the odor isn't very foul and you are showering or at least cleaning daily, all should be well with reference to the above.
How to know when something is WRONG: A foul smell that is not one you recognize, itching, burning, ongoing spotting between periods, cramps that are worse than normal, to the extent you would describe them as PAINFUL (stabbing, bend over can't stand up kind of pain), usually extended beyond a minute or two. In these cases, please talk to your doctor.
Also to keep in mind is that if you are sexually active, you will have differing levels of discharge depending on frequency and birth control methods used.
Hope this information helps!
Dear Susie
hey, im currently in my sophomore year in college taking up a course i don't actually love. well, here it is.. i want to shift schools to take up a course with travel, media and journalism.. one of my options are international studies, what do you think? can you suggest other related courses to take? please.. -yssa
Your best bet is to leave many job options available for you after college. I would study with a major in international business, learn a couple of different languages thoroughly, (French and Spanish should do it) and minor in possibly Hospitality or some similar "usable" thing. Then you can be a working executive for a cruise line or something of the like and get to do most of your traveling for free. And as a hobby, you can write a travel column for a magazine or newspaper.
Good luck to you.
I'm a 17yr old female.I am at home,on break from school.I have a lot of idle free time n i don't know what to do.Please help.
Are you any good at creative writing? Write a fictional account of your life, like an autobiography with a lot of flexibility in the truth. I bet it would be loads of fun to control and change the outcomes of situations, and this is the kind of hobby you can put aside and pick up in summertime without thinking twice.