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down in the dumps.
so, i had the typical situation go down ( i tend to rant, so i'm trying to keep this short ) - he broke up with me and it's been a couple of days now and i've been thinking about it and i've realized basically why i think he broke up with me ( it was more me and personal issues i was having with myself, and i let it effect my relationship. ) but i think it's one of those things that now that i've realized it i can fix it. it took him leaving me to give me a real wake up call about it and now i would love to have another chance and see if i can make it work this time. when we were on the phone, it was more so me just quietly tearing up and him talking cause i wasn't really even sure what to say. i didn't want to sit there and defend myself and beg cause that just seemed stupid so all i really said was,"i don't know what to say, really. i mean i want to stay together, but if that's how you feel, i can't really change that." and then after some more tears and talking, i just let him get off the phone. now as lame as this sounds, i've been googling up tips and adivce online and alot of people said that was a good thing to do, so i'm glad on that. but here's where i'm nervous - his birthday is coming up soon, and i thought it might be a good thing to do ( to maybe make him think of me a little ) to just send a little casual "happy birthday" text his way. some sites though said that i should give it time and not say anything because by doing that it will make him curious and want to see what i'm up to and call me possibly. but other sites said that this might not work, me not contacting him might just have him think that i'm totally fine without him and that we can both move on, which i do NOT want to happen. and i mean on the phone he said it wasn't easy for him at all and i THOUGHT i heard some sniffling coming from his end ( but i put the possilbility in my mind that it could've just been the sound of him walking or something ) so i feel like there's still a chance there, i'm just not sure how to go exactly about doing it - i'm scared i'm going to make the wrong move and completley ruin all my chances.
i'm just asking for people's guys AND girls opinions on this. do you think i should text him? if you were a guy, would that make you not miss me, persay, but you know what i mean? and then what do you think i should do from there? let him be the next to contact me after or..?
i just need advice so bad. i'm nervous cause it's only a couple more days till his birthday and i'm just not sure what to do. i hope someone answers this question by then, i'd REALLY appreciate it.
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hmm this is a hard situation. you want to 'play hard to get' and seem like you're doing fine without him, but in reality you're not. i think that since it is his birthday, the polite thing to do would just to send a 'happy birthday' text his way. but don't say anything more than that. don't add 'have a great day' etc. just the bare minimum polite text to let him know that you still want to be aquaintances. i would see where it goes from there. if he texts you back and is curious about what you've been up to, then that's a good first step to talking to him again. but if he does text you back, act uninterested and tell him you've been really busy with a bunch of stuff. even make things up if necessary.. but nothing that's too far of a stretch. just let him know that you've been getting along fine without him. if he doesn't answer, don't try texting him again. wait for him to realize that he misses you in his life. and if that doesn't ever happen, then he's not the right guy for you anyways. because really... do you want to be with a guy who doesn't care about you as much as you care about him? try to improve the things within yourself that were causing you trouble in your relationship. if you really want him back then try to hang out with him in a group of friends or something casual and then either flirt with other guys to make him jealous and show him what he's missing OR act how you know he wanted you to act in your relationship. i obviously don't know him so i don't know which he will respond better to. good luck! :)
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The real question,is, what kind of issues is it that keep you from communicating together. Are you fighting, disagreeing, bored with each other, have different interests? Has there been infidelity in this or past relationships that are making this one insecure for either of you?
Texting him on his birthday is truly not a message to him. If your interest is to work out your issues and potentially get him back or have closure that works for you both, we need to chat about this more. I can help you individually or as a team, if you are able to get him involved, I will be willing to act as an inbetween for the two of you.
My experience as a life coach and mother of 5 puts me in the position of helping you. The next step is yours. I will need more details, if you are not comfortable putting them online, I will give you my email of lpdearsusie@gmail.com. We can chat back and forth that way, would be easier for me.
I understand the desire to just text him, you want him to think of you but want him to make the next move. However, it sounds like the ball is firmly in your court, and the next move is YOURS. Lets talk. (Please rate me, it helps me to help others)
Dear Susie
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