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Did he genuinly like me or did he just want sex?
There's this guy from school who suddenly texted me out of nowhere saying hey! Big fan here. We started texting more late nights and I got attached. In the beginning he was very sweet to me and all. We would send heart emoticons to each other. After few days he confessed to me he likes me but I friendzoned him. But sometimes he would flirt with me saying I feel like giving you a hug from behind. In between we had a fight but then I sorted it out. After that he started telling me he is busy again and again but whenever we would text about about wwe or football because I like it. He tells me you are so awesome, Let's marry. Then tells me he is kidding. Then he asked me should he propose I told him I dont feel the same way. Recently he asked me If I am a virgin. I got mad at him confronted saying this was disrespectful he told me sorry and deleted the text and I blocked him on instagram. He whatsapped me saying thought you were mature enough and blocked me there. Now I've rekindled things with him.. he texted few days but now he is avoiding me all of a sudden. Should I block him?
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I am not him, nor his mother or best friend so I am not privy to whats on his mind and don't know how he thinks or reasons things out. Yet I can say that typically, teen boys will want to experience sex and will say and do whatever they can to gain a gals trust so that it is easy to get her later to give it up. The only ones who don't do this is the rare male who is mentally at a place where they seem to have the mind of someone a decade or two older, and then the handfuls of males too scared and shy to make any move of seeming friendship towards a girl.
So the real question, you need to ask yourself and answer is "what do I really want" Some things to think about, 'Do I want a boyfriend cus I want a regular sex partner, do I want a boyfriend so I feel I fit in more with other girls and can show him off, Do I just want to add him to my life like adding an accessory to my outfit? At your age people are trying so hard to be and do what adults do when it comes to something gratifying like sex. In actuality, it is a learning time and unlikely to be perfect, more like heartbreaks, confusion and emotions rocky on both sides. Both of you have decided to show your displeasure towards each other by blocking or not answering. It sounds like you are not ok with that. If thats true, the best thing you can do is read books or research on line how to communicate well with the other sex. I am much older, grandma age, and have seen it all, been a teen and know how we all want to be liked or wanted, desired at that age. What I find confusing is your statement of him texting you out of the blue. He couldn't do that if he didn't have your number. So at some point, either you gave him your number or a friend who has your number gave it to him. If a friend, and you don't want your number going out to just any person, I'd have a talk with that friend because that is very wrong. Even businesses will ask for permission to hand your number out or say they can't give it because thats private and the person wanting any info on you should ask you directly. The way you put it makes this sound like you were never friends with him and totally shocked he called in the first place. If I got a text stating, 'Hey big fan here." I would most likely ignore it. If a guy is really interested, then he can talk to me in person. I used the internet and internet dating site as a tool to meet my second husband but once met on line, went straight to phone calls for a week, daily. Then we planned meetings in person.
If attending the same school, it should be fairly easy to talk to the other person, but if not, using the cell to call and decide on a time and place to meet. I will tell you right now that half of married couples are only each others best friend but not a good romantic match, or each others best ever sex partner but other than sex, the rest of time, fight each other and are not treating each other like best friends. The couples with lasting power of the relationship, have to be both, best friends and have the chemistry to be lovers as well. Sad part, is that chemistry for friendship might be able to be done without meeting, but the chemistry for romance and more has to be in person, you can't get that from reading someones texts or a phone call.
Also, its a scientific fact that people from mid twenties and younger, do not have the frontal lobe of their brain mature yet. So the expectations you have because the body looks mature, aren't so with the brain as it needs until mid twenties to be totally mature. Before that, both will get the emotional swings, unwillingness to learn and grow, just live for the moment and reasoning is non existent, you can't think ahead to possible consequences for any action you might take. That is what your letter sounds like to me. That you are young and therefore not going to have an easy time of dating seriously. It is only a training time, like back when a kid is young and uses training wheels to learn to ride a bike. It is normal for girls to watch men of all ages and look for traits they like. What they need to do with that info is to look for those traits in the guy they date. If it doesn't work out, next time go for someone better cus you already know what doesn't work for you. Females should do more than wait for a guy to notice her and ask her out. He's most likely looking at the outside only, anyways. If you study the guys and see one you think has some traits, (other than looks) that you like, then you approach him and start up a convo. Maybe theres enough chemistry to become best of friends and work on that first. Then later when older, you can check if both feel the same way if interested in more than just friends, and go for it. You learn a certain amount in dating but not everything so once old enough, you can learn more by living together. At any point, including the living together, if he shows a side of himself you do not like, either make it clear, that's crossing a boundary and apologize for not stating so in the beginning, and give one more chance. Or if he has already done the unwanted behavior more than once,, its a part of him that's likely to not change in time for you to date him now or soon. Some people need a long time to 'grow up' and may not until they hit their 30s, if at all. These are the helpful info I wished I knew at your age. It would have helped me avoid a verbally abusive husband in the first marriage. I am not sharing anything I haven't learned or done myself. It works or I wouldn't take the time to tell you in the first place. Stop guessing, be grown up about it and walk up to him and apologize. Dont wait for someone else to do so first. I have met a lot of adults still afraid to start up a conversation with a person they don't know yet. So its hard but can be done. Do not text or use phone to do so. In texting, you lose both sound of voice and the inflections in tone so you can tell when someone said something teasing or is serious. In phone-calls, you still lose the inflections and body language. Talking in person, you don't lose any of that so there is a lot less of guessing what the other person thinks. If he won't talk to you, he may not be ready to forgive and ask forgiveness. Or he may never do so, thinking he is always in the right, there's nothing wrong with him and the problem is only you. I've dealt with that, coming out of mental illness on part of the guy, and its a situation I was never able to improve. He wouldn't go for counseling or help because I was the problem according to him and still wouldn't if I went along with to appts. Do not try to change a person into what you want them to be for you. Guys break this rule quite often, but the ones not worth getting into relationship with. I got the ex asking me after marrying if I wanted to get a nose job or boob job and i wasn't looking for any of that. I was content with myself, but he wasn't.
So whomever you decide to date, if he is also willing, make sure you can live with his quirks before you commit. Just saying someone is your gf, bf, doesn't mean a thing. Its what the two of you put into a relationship. This already is more than you wanted to hear and not an easy pat answer to your question but it is what you need to hear and what no one else is going to take time to tell you. I wish you the best dear.
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