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About my mental ability and my life
Hello advisor,
Hope you're doing good, I am 21 and in recent days my life is like hell, nobody want to understand me. When I started talking about my problems to friends and family they don't response about it. I am a shy guy. last few months my friend's relationship was going to be finished but I handled it and saved it but that friend is now ignoring me and he always faults me and he never give me priority. I just want advice what should i do for my self-improvement?
Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Hello, It seems you are concerned about problems that are undefined, but when you reach out to others, they don't respond in a supportive manner. You would like some "self improvement" and you are on the right track. The biggest clue you gave is that there is a pattern: wherever you reach out, people don't seem to want to hear about your problems.
That's pretty normal. People usually want to avoid feeling turned off or overwhelmed by someone else's problems.
What I would encourage you to do, is to seek counseling with a licensed , professionally trained counselor. Most communities offer sliding scale resources, which you can find either in the reference section of yhour local library or on line.
After a few initial sessions, the therapist will likely recommend both group and individual cousneling for you. In group therapy, you'll have the chance to interact with others, get feedback and help in a supportive setting, while also helping others.
Counseling can help ! And then, you can take what you've learned, plus how you've grown, and apply it to "the real world" with your friends and family, hopefully , with successful results.
You are young, and there is time for change and growth. Good luck to you, Dr. Stephanie
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Is shyness your only real issue, because you mentioned problems, meaning more than one. If there is a specific problem listed, I may be able to give advice specificlaly for that issue. I was shy or actually its called social anxiety these days, the version I had but I have it no longer. I can share advice for that if you believe that is what is making your life so hard for you. Let me know by going to my column, by going to 'search advice columnists' on the list on the left. Look for me, dragonflymagic and write to me from there. That's the only way I can see your answer and be able to respond. Now as to self improvement, I found that I also lacked a self confidence and that is also something I have a pre-written message for that too, its easy and fun and I was shocked at the response in people towards me, it worked so well. Aside from those two things, I find it good to read on anything pertaining to how to converse with other people, the do's and don'ts as it is not a skill people come with. We tend to make grave mistakes in what we sometimes say or how we say it that cause others to drop us as friends, or cause problems in a romantic relationship. Lastly, I find any type of volunteering in some kind of service towards humans, especially when you can be of help to others, sometimes others not as well off as you, to be a great character building thing. My husband and I volunteer at a community feeding program set up by a local church. This is like the old fashioned 'soup kitchens' for homeless in the past.Sometimes we are very tired after but we hear from many how much they appreciate the help which we continued to do even when the pandemic started, we were one of the few places the homeless or home owners who werent' working, could go for food and hot meals, it was set up as a pick up and go thing instead of eating indoors. I have heard of volunteers who help Charities at Christmas time to package up gift boxes of food and presents for low income families. Even if low income as ourselves, it is a good way to connect with and see how others struggle and what little things can make their live easier. It gets you thinking about others rather than worrying and focusing on yourself only. Hope this helps you some.
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