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Hello
Some say it is wrong to be glad she is there because she could get beat up or be miserable there. What do you think" I like to think they will try to prevent violence and being miserable could probably help my daughter improve her character. Also, my younger daughter asks questions about what it’s like in the brig. Should I ever let her talk to her sister on the phone"
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Yes, prisons are not a comfy safe place for inmates. there are stories of even in juvenile Hall, kids who once back out, had been abused by other females desperate for sex. I heard of one who wanted sex and it was always mutual with a female cus the males of course are locked up separate. So once out, she was so used to sex with females, she didn't have any desire for males even though she had it prior to going into Juvie. Its amazing what inmates working together can hide from those who check on them so even if they want to protect and prevent abuse, it happens....alot. So simply being in Military prison or any prison is going to be a harrowing experience in itself, and could be emotionally scarring and/or may radically change things about a persons character or personality. As I stated, one young lady went in attracted to men but came out attracted to females. She will not need guilt heaped on her from family while in there or after she gets out. But what she will need is someone who can show her how easy it is for her to still make a major mistake after getting out, and why that is possible. If she can have that part about using you as her sounding board, BEFORE she does anything, and if its bad enough she can't talk to you, then she knows to avoid it, only then will she be able to move on in life, and avoid what got her in jail the first time. After all, parents successfully train children to use a potty, and that has never been done as far as I know by rubbing their nose in their dirtied panty, pull-ups or diaper. There is a right way to help ones child, even if an adult now themselves, to make better decisions. She will resist you the moment you condemn her the same as you would not like another adult calling you out about something you did wrong. It hurts, it feels degrading even makes a person shut down and resist whatever you are trying to say. I know cus its happened many times to me. Well meaning people just not thinking about what they are saying. I was helping out as a volunteer and apparently wasn't doing something quite as it should be. I am open to correction but the way it was delivered felt like a barb that hit my heart. They gasped and in raised voice, "Oh my God! What are you doing? Thats wrong!!! It felt awful. Correction works better if a person uses honey. Now if they had told me, "Thank you so much for volunteering here. I guess someone didn't fully explain how to do this right but we can fix that now. I realize its not your fault but it really needs to be done like this..." and then I am told or shown how. So think about what if it was you in jail at a young age for something, maybe not drugs but the crucial part being you made a bad decision that will hurt you in life, might make it hard to get a job. Thats stuff on record that many would never trust her with anything, even though she may have learned and changed. Would you be okay with not hearing from any family or at least siblings for the entire time locked up? Would you have felt safe locked up with females who were really bad-ass and violent?
Do you feel that you should be shunned by fammily, and reminded of what you did for the rest of your life? If you can place yourself in the shoes of a young person before mid twenties, and using your imagination play out in your mind what if might feel like, and you will probably have all the answers you need including wether to allow a sister to call her or not.
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