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Nosy Acquaintances
I was working at a store for ten years, so I've gotten to know many of the customers very well. When I heard that an apartment on the same block as my job was for rent, I took it because I thought it would be convenient for me. Shortly after that, there was an incident at my job so I had to quit. My boss accused me of stealing and I couldn't believe that she would accuse me of this after 10 years. I was so offended that I quit. She later apologized when she discovered who really took the item, but I decided not to go back. This situation has left a bad impression of this store in my mind, and I don't want anything to do with it anymore. The problem is, I still see my former customers all the time. Many of them live in this neighborhood (some are even my neighbors!) and I see someone I know every single time I leave the house. After working there for so long, many people want to know why I left, what I'm doing now, etc. I feel like I'm on display because everyone around here knows I used to work there and they're always asking me questions and trying to make conversation. At first I would answer their questions, but now I'm tired of talking about the same thing over and over again. I just want to have a fresh start and forget about everything that happened. Most of these people were not my friends; I just saw them often so we would have casual conversations. Now they are always asking me about my personal life. I don't want to be rude, but at the same time I just want to forget about the store and move on. It's been a few months since I've lived here and I feel trapped. I don't go outside and sit on my steps anymore because I don't want somebody to see me and start asking me questions. In a way, I'm avoiding these people. What should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Etiquette?
Dear Escapee,
Allowing yourself to feel anything about a place that didn't appreciate you just gives them more power. Don't give that power to them. Sometimes life will have you somewhere for seasons or even reasons. You did your seasons there. The best answer for you if people ask is that is was time for you to move on. You worked there 10 years and learned things that will help you find your next journey. Use that to your advantage. Don't let false accusations or the pettiness of others affect how you live your life. It can become a story for you to use as a way to write your own story and building a life for yourself. Be strong and bold and look at the talent you have within yourself and find a place that will appreciate that. You will know within yourself that that store made a big mistake and lost a great employee. Their loss will be someone's huge gain. Believe in yourself and put them in the rearview mirror while you travel to bigger and better things.
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The most important thing was to quit that job and get away from those people. Nothing would have ever been right with them or the situation afterward. I would speak to head office about what happened and that you had zero involvement and dealt with accusations about theft. I'm not sure if a lawyer can help here but they need to pay for a mistake that damages your reputation with future employers.
If anyone asks why you left tell them it wasn't the right fit and that you needed something that paid more. Beyond that say nothing about your personal life. You can deflect questions by saying "My life is rather boring tell me about yours?" When they feel awkward by that they'll get that they oversteped with those questions.
I wouldn't be afraid to walk outside the house or bump into someone. Just understand that they aren't trying to be rude in thir mind but rather happy to see you and wanting to know how you are doing. Give them a curt reponse and keep going.
Sitting at home afraid to go out to avoid others is dumb as it keeps you from doing what you need to. You have to go about normal business. If this issue is really bothering you to the point you can't resolve it consider moving if you can. That would be how to get a fresh start if you really want to go that far.
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