|
Not sure if he feels the same way?
Hey there,
There is a lot to this, so please read if you can. I think it will help with answering this kind of question.
Basically, I'm 18 and a freshman in college. There is this guy I met last year that became a good friend of mine pretty quickly. He is still in high school, but he is 18 right now. He is in his senior year at the moment.
Personally, I don't think the fact that I'm technically older than him is an issue. I may be in college, but he'll be there too next semester. I just wanted to give some background so you understand what kind of lives we're coming from.
Anyway, the first time I realized I may care for him as more than a friend was when we literally talked until 2 am one day. The only reason we stopped talking was because I fell asleep! I woke up at 4:30 am and told him I fell asleep. He was really nice about it though, and we continued talking until the afternoon of that day. It was honestly amazing.
Conversations like that one have happened a good amount now. We just go on and on, and I love every minute of it. My issue is the fact that I can't tell if he's feeling this connection in a similar way or not. Sometimes I wonder if I seem "creepy" or anything because I am in college and he's still in high school. I don't want to be too forward with him because I'm afraid of making him uncomfortable. We are both "adults" but still...I'd hate to come off in the wrong way.
He also has sent me pictures sometimes, and I feel like that kinda shows that he doesn't mind me seeing him? I don't know. We don't see one another in person that often, so texting is the main way we talk.
It confuses me, because just recently he texted me first, and we got into a long conversation again. Later that night (around 12:30 am) he said he was tired and figured he should go to bed. I know it's probably unreasonable for me to assume he's uninterested because of this. He could have genuinely been tired or something. But it did say he was active for the whole hour after we stopped talking. Not sure if that's helpful though. For some reason I'm wondering if he can tell I like him, and is trying not to come off like he likes me? I'm just confused.
I do like him. I hope we can try something. He just seems hesitant almost. He also asked me if I had plans for spring break, but maybe he was just curious. Definitely can't tell what he's going for.
I would love to continue what we have, and if it turns into something more I'd love that. I just don't know how I should go about this. Any advice? I hope this all makes sense.
Thanks so much in advance!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Warning...don't overthink this. Fact is you seem to enjoy conversing with him, which I see as a sign that two people have much in common as far as their view points, morals, ideas, hopes and dreams and more. You are correct in thinking that something like this is a part of a couple relatiionship that is romantic. However it is also a part of a good solid friendship too. The only thing missing between one and the other is the romance and sexual desire for the other on both sides. Sometimes only one person feels it. When you say you hope to try something, I assume you mean trying to be more than just friends. I came up with the perfect thing to say that won't freak out the other person,, sounds more curious and also as a natural step in a relationship changing from one kind to another.
I would recommend doing this in person so you can also watch his body language/facial expressions as he answers.
What you ask: "Hey Tim, we've been doing great as friends all this time. So it got me thinking and wondering how well we would do as more than friends. What do you think?"
Its simple, short but there is no confession of how you feel in there to scare him away. No use of the word love but as friends, a strong liking and compatibility is implied. The most important is asking what he thinks or it fails. He doesn't feel cornered if you are asking what he thinks. This way, if he does not feel that romantic chemistry with you but does like you as a best/close friend, he will answer with a No, that wouldn't work or might explain he doesn't feel that way about you. If he does like you but was shy or afraid of scaring you away, he will grab at this chance to nonchalantly say yes,, lets try that. Or he may feel brave enough to tell you that he already has those feelings. You can't always tell for sure from encouraging things such as you have seen so far. All I can say is he does like you very much, but whether as a friend or more, you will need to pose that question to find out. He could be the curious type and ask you why you came up with this thought and question. So don't freak, just be honest and answer that you've read that the kind of relationships for couples that work best are ones that started as being close or best friends, so you are curious because you already like him a lot as a friend. This is pretty much true, just presented in a way he won't freak over. If you say you wrote in for advice, that could throw it all off and the reading this somewhere is true, he doesn't need to know it was Advicenators. If you do get together and marry, yes, then you can tell him. My second husband and I have long after shared what our thoughts were when we first met, etc.
v
]
More Questions: |