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can i be disvirgined at the age of 18
well,am a girl of 18 year and I had a boyf when I was 16 BT we never had any intercourse together because I told him I am not ready then BT nw DAT I turn 18 he is asking me for it,BT I really have a mix feeling abt giving up my virginity not because I don't lyk him BT I don't just no BT recently he is really afraid and asking for it because I will be resuming into a university, pls wat should i do ,I need advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Put simply if there are any linger doubts about whether you should have sex than it means you aren't ready. That's okay and he needs to know that and to be told to stop pressuring you. If he has a problem with that than tough. Find someone else because he cares solely about what he wants inthat case and not you.
Sex is not a race the number 18 has nothing to do with readiness and you can do this at any stage after that birthday has passed. It's about maturity and being totally comfortable with a partner and your decision. Don't let him pressure you because you are going to university either. I think you know in your heart how you truly feel but needed validation on waiting.
One of the things you should do before having sex with anyone is weigh all the pros and cons and research and be prepared to do it safely and deal with any fears before proceeding. It will be right then and you'll be ready and with the right person which may or may not wind up being him. Don't let sex just happen or be random or because someone else is pressuring. This is about YOUR needs not anyone else's timeline.
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Having sex should be experienced with someone where both are in love with each other. Well, that is the ideal so anything less often doesn't cut it. At a party once, a person brought up a strange question to use as an icebreaker...asking people to share about their first time having sex. Was it special or not. I was astounded to hear about thirty people ALL agree they did not have good memorable experiences.
So it would be best for you to wait until you admire and are attracted to a man romantically. Often no matter how hot looking a person, if there is no chemistry, one or both are not going to be interested. He may be interested in sex but you are not. Even if he's a friend, thats no reason to have sex.
Now a couple who marries or have a life long commitment of some sort, these people will have the most successful relationship if they have a true friendship. But they must have one more thing as a foundation for a relationship...that is the romantic desire or chemistry I speak of. There is a certain kind of chemistry that causes people to become friends but the romantic chemistry is something more and very important to a relationship.
There is a rule I've read before that says if a person has to ask if its a good idea for them to have sex that they are not ready right now. Don't worry about your age. I had 3 daughters and they had boyfriends and sex at 19, 21 and 22 for the first time sex and having a boyfriend. There isn't something wrong with you if you want to wait. And unlike what people your age may say or tease about, almost all of them once older and looking back, will probably be regretting the way they first had sex.
As for being a virgin, the word virgin means 'untouched' as in "those explorers went into the virgin forests of Canada, virgin here again meaning untouched by the presence of humans until that point. Virgin became a way in old times before technology for men to know if a woman they wanted to marry was carrying another mans child hoping to fool him and men didn't want their inheritance going to a child that wasn't his blood relation. Now a days, we can test to see who the dad is and Maury Povich has a show that is all about just that.
If you think that being a virgin means penis in vagina sex, then answer this question: At what point does a gay couple who've never had sex before heterosexually, when do they lose their virginity? There are either two penis's involved or two vagina's. So at what point are they no longer virgins.
Looking back at what the word really means, I'd say that as soon as one has engaged in anything remotely of a sexual nature, that they are no longer virgins. I do not include kissing as making one no longer a virgin.
However most people still use the word virgin to mean penis in vagina sex or intercourse as it is known. This guy knows that at 18 a person is an adult and may have been waiting for that event so that he can have sex and not go to jail for having sex with a minor. You have to decide if you want to do this which means you are doing it just for him, to make his day, not because you are in love with him. Also, until both have shared their love for each other and he's shown you in many ways other than just saying he loves you, and both have discussed what they will do for birth control, then neither is ready to do it yet. This is the kind of convo that only committed couples will have if even they do.
If you are simply curious about what sex feels like, and want to find out, then if you go with a guy you like as a friend but have no romantic feelings for him nor him for you, then like the adults at the party, you will regret the impulse to try it just to see.
Its like says, I want to know what it feels like to jump off a bridge, once you're on the way down in mid air, there is no way to turn this around and change your mind, and its the same with sex, you can't turn around your memories of your first time giving yourself to a guy if it falls short of both having strong feelings for each other. sure we have sex sometimes with someone we are crazy about at the time but after years go by, you both go separate ways and the one you end up marrying, is not the first experience. However even if not your first experience, everyone has a past, as long as you have terrific happy memories of your first time, that is a good thing.
You going away to a University is no reason to give a guy sex as a parting gift. He sounds like the type who might go as far as asking you to prove you care about him as a friend by having sex with him. This is a twisted thought process that some males without honorable intentions will use to prey on females emotions. The female fears losing the friend or boyfriend and will so have sex which is what the guy wanted and sex didn't prove anything. Your commitment or love for someone is not something that can be proven by giving in and having sex. Love is proven not by words although they are great to hear but like/love is proven by how each person continually treats each other. This means a person really proves what kind of person they are and how they feel for you by consistently behaving in a positive manner towards you. I stress the consistency and used this after a divorce to find a good man this time and looked for a consistency in all the traits I was looking for that he claimed to have. I did the same with others and when they got tired of faking who they were and let things slip, I saw all sort of things in men, not just young young men but older men, who never learned, who lied and asid they werent a smoker, pretended to be loving of all people and all of a sudden were calling their maid racial slurs, and the list goes on. Its okay if there is a slip up, in a mate, friend, but if they are very sorry and you truly never said that behavior would bother you before, then as happened with me, I was able to forgive and move on but he had to be contrite about it and promise he'd never do it again, and my 2nd husband has kept to his word for about 8 years now, never ever repeating the one thing that upset me. Thats when you know they respect you and love you and that is when you want to give them a gift, for being so wonderful, and thats when you make love. think about it dear. Then stand with your decision. You don't have to believe me but I have not made anything up here.
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