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I’m seeing a guy more than fans but less than an official relationship
My question is if the guy that I’m seeing wants to secretly get me pregnant and why does he go hot and cold now when before he wouldn’t. Well, he last cummed inside me knowing that I am not on the pill and we look like a real relationship but just without the title. He has been out of a bad relationship that left him with a no negative contact restraining order that was violated and he almost went to jail for it. We had a huge argument when I got jealous about him talking to my friend then I got drunk and made bad comments ever since then he’s been restraining from cuddling me and he’s backed off with that special touch that we had together before the incident like he’s slowly progressing to calling me baby etc. again. He even regressed to hardly cum inside of me. But now he came inside me again knowing that I’m not in the lpill and that I might get pregnant knowing also that if he buys the plan b it will affect his income. Before he would say well if we get pregnant we get pregnant. So is he secretly trying to get me pregnant again and he has actually told me that he has feelings for me before the fight. And I told him I did too. But after the fight he said that he does not want a relationship so quickly... and that falling in love with him would be considered to quick...I’m a bit scared to admit that I scared him off...
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Its probably more about fantasizing and which thoughts actually turn us on rather than wanting the situation in real life. If he's seeing you but not making a commitment to be your life long, whether married or not after a few months of getting to know all about you as a person, not just the sex, the chances are likely he may not be a permanent mate material, not be ready, or is not serious at all. Men and women alike have fantasy thoughts in sex that they may never want to have happen in real dlife, for males, it can be the idea of getting their woman pregnant, even though they don't want it to become a reality in real life. Even my husband will sometimes say during sex that he is about to give his seed and make me pregnant or some such thing and we are no longer child making age and our kids are adults having kids of their own. It may not be what excites a woman enough to make her cum but it does for many men.
So if you are thinking to keep him interested in you by remaining vulnerable in real life to becoming pregnant, you just might want to think about being prepared to be a single mother because chances are high that it is just his fantasy, not what he wants in reality unless he has said he wants to be your husband and have children together. If he hasn't said such a thing, its all about the thoughts making him hornier so he comes.
You don't have to stay away from birth control. All you need to do is get on birth control but help play out his fantasy with what you say during sex. Make it as graphic as you wish. Not to gross you out but if you have no idea's you can use this example: Oh honey, you are so virale. I want your man seed inside me so I can have your child. Oh give it to me...now...please...let me feel it ..."
Thats a good start. If you think it sounds corny, use your own words but it has to be about impregnating if this is what gets him off easier. Even my husband has his own fantasy situation that I participate in that gets him off easier but neither of us would want it to happen in real life.
As for a guess regarding him giving you the cold shoulder, if he loves you but was accused of having romantic or sexual interest in another woman,, your friend or any woman really, you get an angry defensive reaction if there may be some truth to it, or anger that you assumed the worst of him and didn't seem to trust him.
May I suggest that it is not lack of trust causing the issue with you but the fact you do not have enough self confidence.
In a University test done aand the article I read about in a magazine many ye ars ago, students volunteered to be part of a test. Women were chosen carefully after being asked questions to determine which had self confidence and which did not. THey had no idea that this was the actual test, to discover if men found self confidence more attractive or equally attractive to physical looks of the women. All were made to wait in a room together for their turn to be seen and interviewed but the actual test was them being observed in the waiting room,, told it might be a long wait. So to keep busy, people began to talk to each other. All being single, they were very tuned in to the opposite sex there. Most men naturall turned first to the bomb shell women who looked like models yet had low self esteem and low self confidence. The men were observed leaving conversation with these women as soon as they realized the women were shallow, hated how they looked, were drama queens and so on. They went to speak with the women who were a second choice looks wise but they stayed the rest of the time having an enjoyable convo with the average lookers who also had a strong self confidence. It seemed to prove men were very attracted to self confidence in a woman first over looks. If only into sex, then it would only be the looks that interested them but these were men looking for a long term relationship. It seems men are like moths drawn to a flame when it comes to seeing self confidence in a woman.
Turning the tables, when a male gets jealous of his woman merely looking at other guys, or talking to other males, he is called possessive and controlling all because he fears another man will look better to his girl and usually in his case it is true because his behavior will push away or cool off any love the woman might have had.
So your doing the same with him, you can't expect things to right themselves in time. Oh yeah, he might progress to calling you sweet names and willing to have sex but a part of him you will always sense is subconsciously with held from you
unless there is a good talk about it, apologies and asking forgiveness and you being willing to commit to learning how to gain self confidence. Self confidence in women is like an aphrodisiac to men and draws them like flies. Unfortunately I lacked this self confidence when I got married the first time and therefore I was hooked up to a man who did not respect me and was verbally abusive. It might not be that bad for others but a lack of trust and lots of fighting or disagreements can show two people as not being compatible and having chemistry. Often that is the real problem but you did write and admit to feeling jealous. Hey we all are jealous at times. Humans are susceptible to that but its the wise ones who realize that going on and pretending the jealousy was insignificant or didn't happen or simply never bringing up the subject and apologizing, will not fix things as time goes by, magically by itself because it is now far in the past. If you were in his shoes and it happened to you, him getting jealous and having an argument with you because he was jealous, then you'd not feel very loving with him after that. Having sex is one thing but haing the closeness in a relationship are threatened by such actions.
So in your wondering if you scared him off, maybe, but maybe not. Maybe he is only very hurt and confused and disappointed and though he admitted having feelings before the fight, he is now rethinking that he is not ready to go the whole way in a relationship, and hold himself back so to speak because he is afraid of getting hurt again. Something about males, they really don't do well with drama from females, even if truly fits the situation, such as the tears and words shared. Crying in a woman freaks men out and they feel helpless and will go through all sorts of plans to withhold the truth from her so they don't have to see the tears and hear crying. I have had several important men in my life including my current husband, withhold the actual truth not for fear of me being angry but hurt or scared, such as husband almost falling off roof on construction job he did for a while. He didn't tell me at first for fear I would react with worry and want him to quit. It wasn't until he broke a leg and was unable to work that he lost that job and then confessed what happened and promised me he would no longer at his age take jobs that could be dangerous and possibly injure or kill him. A younger man can handle that job, an older one is not going to be as resilient or possibly lucky and avoid death. Other than that, men are much like women, want the same treatment from each other, trust and so on if they are serious about each other.
Realize that if you truly scared him off, he would no longer be associated with you or dating you.
If you want to learn how to easily gain self confidence, another article I read on how and a process I tried was not only fun but got results almost immediately. I would share that with you if you want to hear it and do it. But you'd have to write to me by going first to my column Dragonfly magic and writing me from there or I won't be able to respond any other way. Wishing you the best dear and don't worry, I don't think badly of you because all of this is part of our learning curve in relationships and I have done similar things but pregressed beyond them instead of living out my life having the same negative reactions my whole life. I will admit the man must be the right man for you to instill total trust in you, so much that you know he isn't physically interested in any other woman because he is not a man seeking just a sexual relationship but wants the whole enchilada, her personality and traits and strengths and so on. I have such a man,, so into who I am totally that he is only in love with me and thus his brain loving all of who I am inside finds he doesn't get physically attracted to other women. If a guy still may feel attraction another outcome is that he won't act on it because he can tell the difference between lust for the looks and love for the whole person and the reason he is committed to his lady is not skin deep. So my man can pay a woman a compliment on her earrings or nails as he did this Thanksgiving with a female at the home of a family we were invited over to and we didn't know the rest of their family, their adult daughter but his compliment made her day, and though she had a husband, just knowing another person noticed her nails which I also then compliment as they truly looked good, bt her reaction I could tell she didnt take it wrong like he's hitting on her with me present. It only happened once in our 10+ years together where a cashier glanced at me in terror while we were at her register and he paid her a compliment on her ring (he used to work with jewelers and had a great knowledge and appreciation of good work and stone cuts, types in jewelry) and that is when she glanced at me in terror expecting me to blow up at him or maybe even her. I had to put my hand sup covering my mouth as I was silently laughing at the look on her face, not feeling threatened at all. This is self confidence, knowing my standing with my guy and that part of who he is, is appreciative of great stones and jewelry and I allow him to be himself because it does not threaten my standing wiht him. The only difference would be a mistake many men make, complimenting ohers but they stop complimenting and building up their S.O. because they don't realize the importance of it or they truly have feelings changed and no longer care about their woman and have stopped trying to look down her shirt, stopping looking at her with desire in his eyes, then something is wrong. YOu didn't say these were issues so I assumed it was only you.
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