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guilty?
Ive recently broken up w a boy i met from a few friends, i started to get to know him & yes he was loyal. we lasted 4 months , but then we broke up cause he knew few things abt me & we haven’t spoken for 5 days. i broke up with him without saying sorry , i just left him blank. we r kind of friends rn and i’m feeling guilty & it kills me. (13 & female)
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Oh HOn, I know how it feels. When I was your age, I was too quiet and really didn't say much or say the few things that really needed to be said. I know for me it was lack of self confidence.
Relationships all the way through HS on the average do not last long so 4 months at your age is pretty good. There is no reason to not share your weaknesses, fears, or having to say you were wrong and say sorry. I know it sounds awkward and embarrassing but in reality, the end result is much better than you would think. Unfortunately, it took until I was in my 20s to figure that out.
What happens when you say you are sorry or share the kind of stuff I mentioned above, is that the other person knows you are being real with them and they can now relax because they've been there, had to say sorry, have weaknesses and fears.
Of course you don't share these with just any random person. But someone close to you, a bf, a family member, you can do it because you have learned to trust that person. Trust is earned when a person consistently (that means always the same never changing) keeps your secret, doesn't tell you that you are a bad person or worse, they dont humiliate or try to make you feel like a nothing, like a loser. People like that don't deserve you as a friend and you are better off without them because that is not how a friend treats a friend.
So you don't have to be afraid that admitting you were wrong will make a bad impression on him.
When you broke up, I don't know if you did, both of you agreed on it or he did. But you did say he really didn't know much about you. When a person does not volunteer information about themselves, it sends a message that they do not want to open up to you, something that is important in dating. It says you are just going through the motions, pretending to be interested just to be able to say you have a boyfriend but holding the other person off, acting distant and no one wants to hang around for a relationship like that.
You haven't heard from him for 5 days because frankly, if you were in his shoes and this happened to you, you would assume the other person hasn't changed their mind, seen reason and know they were wrong and apologize. If he doesn't see that, he will just ignore you because that is what he thinks you want and go on with his life. If he is a reasonably nice guy and good looking, it won't be long until other girls approach him and ask him out. SO don't sit around waiting dear. It isn't a bad thing to explain to him what you were thinking that made you do what you did. Guys and gals have a great difference in how they think, solve problems, come to conclusions, etc and they will still be like that as adults. It is not a bad thing, just a trait of males, by instinct they act the way they do, just as females act as they do. If the problem is that you have no idea how to make conversation with a guy, then I can help but you have to ask. I am only guessing it was a fear to look weak by sharing about yourself, leaving him without an explanation and so on. Right now it feels easier to run and hide but now is the time to slowly start learning to improve yourself as a person, improve relationship skills so that when you are out of school and ready for a serious relationship and maybe marriage, you won't have to go through all the heart aches and mistakes then.
If you have any more questions, just let me know.
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