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I don’t know if I should like this guy because he’s hurt me before
I am a 16 year old girl. I really like this guy but he’s ditched me before for another girl, and I think he’s talking to her again. I don’t want him to break my heart again by ditching me but I really like him. We’re only in the talking stage so I don’t think its serious enough for me to get mad at him talking to more girls. He seems interested but I don’t know if he wants anything serious but I do. Should I keep going with him to see how it goes or leave him before he leaves me?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
At your age, males are not serious yet and no way do they want to commit to just one girl. There's actually nothing wrong with that. Even girls do not know yet who they really will want someday for a husband, father of their children, a long term or life long mate. Daating is just the process by which we get to see how the other person acts consistently, and how they treat us consistently.
Don't feel bad if you don't know this all yet because there are plenty of adults who keep making the same mistakes in who they choose to commit to as gf/bf. There should not be any real serious committed relationships yet at your age. I know this doesn't make you feel better but if you look at this as a time of being in training to find what it is in as many details and qualities that you like in a romantic relationship, then you will be far ahead of many adults when you hit college age and beyond. It is more likely then that you will find that precious male who is devoted only to you. I married at age 20, and though I was mature for my age, I didn't know squat about what a healthy relationship should look like so my first marrieage, ended in divorce, my choice because I was being verbally abused.
Now on to the ditching. I am guessing this means he said nothing to you, just ghosted you and you saw him talking to and hanging around other girls. The majority of guys at this age, do not know what to say or do if they want to hang out with many different girls to discover what it is they like most in a female. I am not talking about hair style or hair color and that sort of thing but characteristics, and personality traits. These things are more important than you think because those are needed in a friendship. I will give you a clue right now for your future, whether you end up dating him or several guys before you find the man you'll be with the rest of your life.
A happy successful relationship is built on a foundation of two things, one being each others best friend and the second being each others romantic and sexual equal. I don't mean for you to explore the sex part yet because males want sex over friendship and will say what they know girls want to hear so they'll give it up to them. Girls feel naked without a boyfriend at their side and want one sooo bad that if one lies to her and says he wants to date her, be her bf because he loves her, she will believe and early on he will ask her to prove her love by having sex. Sex is not a sign of love because it is more often a sign of lust. Sex is only a gift two people in love engage in because they love honor and respect that person.
At your age, the friendship part is the most important part to start learning and getting comfortable with. It is harder than you think because males, even grown men, do not think or come to conclusions the same way females do. I am 60 and my hubby, as great as he is, will still do things that can drive a female crazy and upset her for several reasons. But if you start now just befriending a guy, you will learn these things and understand males better. Males tend to pick and choose what they tell a female they care about, not because they have a tendency to want to lie to you, but their reasoning is to protect you from information that might worry you too much. Example: hubby worked a job for a short while in construction and was on the roof and lost his footing and was sliding to the edge where there was not just the drop to the ground but ditches dug around that part of the house and if not for his co worker grabbing his hand at last minute, he could have been gravely injured or died. Since it never happened, he didn't tell me anything until he was no longer at that job.He is right, I would have worried and been harping on him to quit as it was too dangerous. He came to that conclusion himself and never went back. This is just one of the things you will learn by hanging out with guys. It is okay to date for social reasons. A male to hang out with to go to movies with, bike riding, hanging at a park or what ever, is good and can be used as a time to learn what he is like in all sorts of situations. So there is no reasonk why you can't keep going with him as long as he is interested. Just ask him to agree to be honest with you and let you know if he has changed his mind and wants to hang out with another girl or if he prefers having several female friends, if he is not one who wants to commit to one girl only right now. All you want is his honesty and though you might be sad, you'd rather know than him lie to you. If guys know its okay to be honest with you, even if its a breakup, they are more likely to be honest instead of just making themselves scarce. As long as they don't have to worry about a girl begging them not to leave, acting hysterical and crying, they will be more honest. These tips should help some. Also, guys need to be trained at this age, how to treat a fenale. They may not have had sisters or had a single mom and no Dad to watch or a Dad who didn't treat Mom right. So if there is a behavior you do not like, you have to let them know that you are letting them know right now that if he does that again, you will leave him. But you have to be willing to do so...no matter how much it hurts. If all girls did this, then the guys would know they had to change their behaviour to keep a girl. Too many get away with treating girls like crap. Don't let yourself be one of them.
If you want some great tips on relationships and much more, I would recommend you watching a you tuber Laci Green
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
She calls it Sex plus. She covers relatioonship tips, dating, abuse by boyfriends, period stuff and understanding your body, reproductive stuff, sex, gender id, and sexual preference. She started as a teen, self teaching by studying anything she could and then sharing it with others via internet. For a person the age of my kids, she is very good and thorough at what she does and gained the support of groups like Planned Parenthood. Please consider watching at least the ones on relationship for sure and any others that appeal. They are short and interesting, geared for younger people.
I believe there is no reason why you can't start lear
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