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What about my gender?
Thank you for reading my question.
I am just confused and will like some help on gender identity. Here we go….
I have been assigned the gender of a girl, but I don't always feel that way. Before you start to think "Transgender?", let me get to a point.
For example, one day I feel feminine. I look in the mirror and I absolutely love my body. But the next day I look in the mirror and I hate it so much. (Wait, I'm not done yet.) Then the day after that, I look in the mirror and I don't really care. As in, I don't feel feminine or even masculine. That was just an example. Each feeling could last a few days at the most.
Sometimes, and this just makes it more confusing, I want to wear makeup while wearing a tomboy outfit. Or even the other way around. I want to wear a dress, but no makeup.
This might seem like normal, but I am just very confused on my gender. I think I have one, but sometimes I feel like I don't. But I know that I'm not agender. Please help me.
Thank you so very much.
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Hi there! I think it is fair to say that the whole 'transgender' subject is far better understood and more openly discussed in present times than it has ever been. In many ways this is a great thing. It means people will not feel intimidated and be forced to live miserable lives, fearing the condemnation and even hostility of a society which will not or cannot 'get' what they're about. But also of course, there can be an strong element of all this information and general 'chatter' making us dwell and ponder on things a little too much? Perhaps, in the way we may read a dictionary of symptoms of medical conditions and can quite easily convince ourselves that we have any number of them! From what you say, I do not feel that you have a serious gender-identity crisis going on here. Some days you want to celebrate your femininity in all it's aspects and display it in your choice of outfits, make-up etc and equally 'wear' a feminine attitude and outlook? Other days, you don't and a bit of a 'tomboy' faces you in the mirror and your attitudes are less traditionally glamorous and girlish? And again, some days you don't really acknowledge and/or embrace either in particular. You are just 'you'. Basically just living your life, pursuing your projects, simply doing all the things living entails. Many activities are indeed no way gender-specific. We get-up, dress, eat, go shopping for food, wash ourselves and our clothes, and so on and so on. We work, and often our work is not exclusively male or female either. I feel perhaps that 'hate' is coming across as a rather strong term relating to your body however? I imagine that many people feel they would change some aspects of their appearance occasionally if it were easily possible. There is a lot of pressure on us to have 'perfection' and perhaps we have to look at social media as a major player here? We post 'edited highlights' of our lives and those viewing sometimes feel in some way inadequate? That we are not living anywhere near such a fulfilling life or having anywhere near so much fun! Keep the fact that these are edited and retouched. Just like the way the model in a photo shoot is not always dressed in brand new designer clothes, perfectly lit and fresh from the attention of a professional make-up artist and stylist! If there are things about your body that you feel are in need of a change, that they would give you a better self-image (and thus greater self-confidence, which is ALWAYS a great thing to have), and they are changeable then just do it. Why not? It's your body, your life. Make sure it really is 'you' that you are doing it for though. It is of course impossible to get the whole story from what you have written. Or where your feelings at the moment may lead to, or not lead to. I hope I have managed to point out that you don't sound at all unusual in what you are feeling. We all question our motives, lifestyle and identity at times. To return to where we began, we live in more enlightened and informed days than ever. And you will be more free to be 'you' than was possible before. And that means whatever 'you' entails! I hope this helps? If there is any aspect you feel is worth deeper investigation then feel free to write a bit down and post it. Sometimes just resolving one, apparently quite small element puts the whole issue in clear perspective. God, and the Devil, are in the details. To coin a well-known phrase. have a great day!
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