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I can't get him out of my head?
I just got back from a music camp at a college and I can't seem to get this person out of my head. I'm just confused about what they were trying to do or if they were even trying do get anything across.
Basically, I met hime when he lead a little group that I was in for getting to know the other campers. After I had only been at the camp for a day or so, this guy (he was kind of like a counselor) remembered that I was interested in writing music and so he wanted to introduce me to someone who just graduated with that kind of a degree. I was surprised he remembered that I wanted to do that since there were so many people there.
A little later and he came up to me and said how he heard that my talk with the graduate went really well. He also said if I wanted to get in contact with the person he introduced me to or if I had any questions I could just ask him. I was happy he was so helpful, but it just seemed strange that he would go out of his way to do these things.
Then the next day I remember I was getting food from the cafe and I saw him standing in line somewhere. He was getting his food and I remember thinking we probably wouldn't interact since he was busy. I went to get silverware and I heard him say my name. I turned around and he was right there. He kinda was making sure he got my name right. I asked him how he was and he did the same for me, but then after I said "I'm good." I WALKED AWAY. I'm still upset with myself because I feel like I could've talked with him for a while. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. He didn't seem distracted when we talked, and he always held eye contact.
Later that night we had a little party to kind of finish of the camp. He ended up close to where myself and my group of friends were. We looked at each other a few times, but I don't know. Maybe I'm just looking way too far into this?
Well, now I can't seem to get him out of my head. The worst part is I found out I think he has a girlfriend. I must be making any bit of interest he had for me up? I guess I'm just wondering what you think of all this? Am I overreacting? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you!
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This is one of those situations where you don't know how it may have gone if you'd been brave enough to say something or try something. It will always be in your mind wondering if it was a Real possibility or if it was a dead end. The not knowing how it could have turned out will stay with you the rest of your life, always wondering 'what if..." And that as you now know is a sort of mental torture.
I think that if there is a next time, not him but another situation, it may be a good idea to just check.
Some people are out going and genuinely like to help others, are good at remembering names and places and situations so that alone may not have meant anything.
I wasn't there to observe body language but you might want to watch some you tube videos where they go over body language of a guy interested in a female. He was doing one of those things in finding any reason to come up and stand close to you. If a person approaches your personal space, close enough that if they extended their arm straight, their hand would rest on your shoulder, this is a subconscious way humans check to see if someone likes them. If you stay your ground, it means you like the nearness. If for some reason, the guy turns you off, you will automatically without thinking, step back away recreating the amount of space between you and him. I don't know how this went and you may not remember. It is very helpful to know all the body signals that someone is interested in getting to know you better, but at least, a guy may know he wants to find out if he can really fall for you or if you are not the onek for him so this curiosity and checking a gal out is an important step and must happen before anything else can. Generally, males are as scared of being rejected as a gal may be or are leaving up to her to make the first move after leaving subtle clues that may or may not mean anythint.j That is why if you see not just one or two body language signals that say he's interested, it is a good thing to ask. How I would go about it is to say, "Hello again. I really appreciate you taking the time to be so helpful. I am just wondering however if this is just you being professional and helping others or if there is some interest beyond counselor/camper? Then to make sure he doesn't back off the truth in case he is interested, you have to let him know that you are okay with exploring this and this isn't you just satisfying your curiosity, but have no interest in him. He won't give a truthful answer until you've cleared the coast. So I would add at the end, if you do have interest in me beyond that of another camper, I am willing to explore that. Now he knows its okay to ask. Females tend to wait for guys to ask them out but may sit around forever with no guy asking, and its not because they all are not interested in you.
Now, on how to stop thinking of him, your subconscious doesn't realize the opportunity is over and that you need to stop thinking of him. All it knows is that for a while your thoughts all focused and centered on him. So in its desire to please your conscious self, it assumes that the amount of similar thoughts means its important, even if it is a fear you are focusing on or the situation has already changed, etc. The subconscious mind is now bringing up more thoughts of him than you did yourself. SO you need to retrain your subconscious to stop thinking of him. Start with being aware of each thought of him and the moment it appears, telling yourself, which your subconscious will hear, either internally or out loud when no one else is around. You simply tell yourself, the time to check if there was any interest in me is over. I messed up and so I want to stop thinking of him. Doing so now serves no purpose. Stop bringing up thoughts of him. Or put it in your own words but repeat this everytime a thought of him comes up. I used this method to get over someone who walked out of my life. It really works but the first two days or so are really bad. I found I was having thoughts of him come up every coupe of minutes so I was repeating my dialog for the subconscious minds sake, up to 30 times in an hour with it slowing down by days end to maybe 10 to 20 and the next day was not too good either, maybe the 10 times per hour but if you do this diligently, eventually it is only 10 times in the whole day, to eventually none. This gives you time to emotionally detach. Then in the future if anyone who talks like him or looks like him gets you to having a thought of him, it won't hurt or bother you and you may simply smile at the happpy memory of the attention he gave you. Hope this helps you. If you need to speak to me further, go to columnists and choose me, Dragonmagic and write to me from my column and it will go straight to my inbox instead of go for all columnists to answer unless thats what you want.
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