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Mixed signals? something with my crush...
Hi, I am a 16 year old girl and i have a crush obvisly at this age. So i have liked my crush for a couple months now. I also helped him to get a girl that he liked, he asked her out she rejected him. I was screaming in joy( which is completely messed I know) anyways, recently I was talking to him and went on a silly tangent about valentine's day since it was today. SoI said to him if I had I man I would want him to give me food, he then said I have food and proceed to point at the cupcakes on the table. Also, I said that I kinda want a boyfriend and he responded with yay since I told him previously that I didn't want a boyfriend... I could be completely delusional I don't know. Also, i find myself ALWAYS texting him first....
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I THINK THAT MAYBE YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM. SOMETIMES IT CAN BE SCARY TO GO AND TALK TO PEOLE FIRST BUT YOU NEVER KNOW. I WOULD GO UP TO HIM IN PERSON SO HE CANT LEAVE YOU ON READ OR IGNORE YOU AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. BE HONEST AND LET HIM KNOW HEY LOOK I LIKE YOU AND ITS OKAY IF YOU DONT LIKE ME BUT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND IF YOU FEEL THE SAME MAYBE WE CAN GO ON A DATE? YOUR GONNA BE SCARED BUT GRAB EVERY LITTLE CONFIDENCE YOU HAVE AND DO IT. AND IF YOU REALLY CANT DO THAT THEN MAYBE HINT IT TO HIM THAT YOU LIKE HIM OR ASK YOUR FRIEND IF THEY CAN TALK TO HIM ABOUT YOU AND WHAT HE THINKS OF YOU. I HOPE THAT THIS HELPED EVEN THOUGH IM LIKE ANSWERING THIS REALLY LATE. I also typed that all in capital letters lmao which I didn't know.
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Other than the crush for a couple months, I have no idea how long you both have known each other. Since you mention texting and having helped him catch the interest of a girl he told you he liked, those things sound like the doings of two people who have been good friends for some time, definitlely longer than the couple of months. I am betting you started as just friends and somewhere along the lines as you got to know his personality better, you felt drawn to him for some character traits and began to admire him as a person and well, fell for him.
What you mention being a silly tangent about valentines day is actually not silly at all but an ability to turn conversation to a topic you want to talk about without having to be obvious and ask point blank questions. I do this all the time, leading the conversation so I commend you, that was good thinking because if the words you wrote are exactly what was said, then I think it went rather well. When you mentioned that if you had a guy, you'd want edible gifts from him for valentines day, he did not have to say or do what he did. He could have simply nodded or said, yeah me too, or some little comment like really? not watching your weight then? Nope, I think he saw this as an opportunity to say something encouraging to you. Before you think it, men do not say kind encouraging things to females they are not interested in at all because it could backfire with the girl they aren't attracted to starting to come after him all the time thinking he really likes them. No, guys are smarter than that. So what reason could he have for pointing at cupcakes and saying "i have food". He didn't say he was willing to share it with you. But what he said can be taken as a flirt, even if not actually saying he would offer one to you. He is simply acknowledging that he understands what would impress you and what you'd expect was a food item and so this was a way to show you that he qualifies. Now just in case I am reading too much into that statement and action of his, lets look at the next thing he said. when you hinted that you want a boyfriend now and he says "Yay!" and since he doesnt have a girlfriend, this means he knows there is a chance for him if he is willing to try it out. But he didn't ask. He could have been scared, or worried that you meant anyone else but him since he is a friend. Most hetero friends have trouble moving on to more than friends because each is afraid to say anything in case the friend doesnt share the same feelings and the fear is of losing the friend then. There is a special thing you can say if you have been friends now for a while, to find out if he is attracted to you the same way. You ask "Since we both do great as friends, I was just wondering how well we might do as more than friends. What do you think?"
You have to ask the What do you think or he won't feel he has to say anything. This is the best no pressure way to find out if he doesn't feel that way about you as he would say something along the lines of that wouldnt work. I only feel friendship with you, nothing more. Or he would jump at the chance and say yes, lets try if he is too scared to blurt it out right then or he will tell you he;s felt that way for some time. Often, a person will tell the one they like that they like someone else to see if the person shows any hint of being jealous but that is not a good way to go about it. So it could be that the dating the other girl didn't work because both were not interested i each other.
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i think that you are over thinking it honestly. since he just got rejected i personally think he was just answering your questions in a friend stance like okay i get you type of thing. Don't over think it too much ...you should tell him how you really feel about him one day because the more you give him subliminal hints that you like him the more you hurt yourself honestly. i wish you all the luck in the world
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