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There is this boy that I like but I’m not sure he likes me back.


Question Posted Saturday December 15 2018, 9:40 pm

He is very annoying to me sometimes. He is very stubborn but very funny at some points. Sometimes he may or may not impress me. He is an athletic person but also a bit smart. He sometimes looks at me and catches him looking at me. I don’t if he is trying to make me jealous by hanging out with a lot he f girls. He is also a bit popular. Also I am 12 and in 7 th grade.

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Dragonflymagic answered Wednesday December 19 2018, 2:15 pm:
Young males and grown men all have certain characteristics that are mostly related to their gender. Throughout history, a male of a younger age who was interested in a girl would be annoying. It seems counter productive to annoy someone you are interested in befriending and maybe dating at some point but yeah, guys tend to do this, not all but a good amount of them. It is seen even in earlier grades. I had a daughter once in second grade complain of a boy who pestered her all day long cus he sat at the same table. I talked to his older brother, asking to follow them home and meet the parents. I told them the kids were struggling with being friendly and more annoyed at each other and asked if I could visit a while with my daughter. The kids saw us gorwnups getting along so they went off to play and after that were great friends at school, so much so that they were teased by all the others of being BF ad GF which was not the case, just classmate friends.

Now here is something else about guys of any age. If they are not interested in a girl for at least a friendship if not more, then they will not risk paying her any attention, good or bad, and certainly won't look at or stare at her because they fear a girl they are not interested in at all, feeling encouraged by their attention or stares and actually approaching him and maybe asking him out. Guys are also very afraid of having to deal with saying no and getting a girl so upset she cries or becomes vindictive. So they usually decide to desire a female from a far and not make a move but their actions show they have some interest.
Don't feel its a bad thing if guy is only interested in friendship at this point because I can explain why it is an excellent thing. Friendship is also part of what successful marriages have. They are best friends and also have the one thing that just friends don't have, the romantic connection, or chemistry as I call it. I know that girls tend to want to skip over the friendship part and go straight to dating and romance. Of course many guys will cooperate and try this because it is the only option girls are giving them. Some males though would rather start slow and start with friendship. At your age, there is much to learn about how the opposite sex thinks, reasons things, comes to conclusions, what prompts them to take certain actions and believe me, it is so foreign to how females would do it, and in fact to this day, does not make sense to me at all. But understanding by learning through friendship that something is a bred into a males instincts of how he acts and thinks, gives you a way to know how to handle it without becoming upset and thinking he is unreasonable or stupid, or getting mad at him for something that is second nature to him. So I recommend starting with friendship. Guys are more likely to not feel threatened becoming a friend rather than going straight to the dating thing. I have heard from the few teen girls who get this and are the only accepted female friend in a group of guy friends of 4 to 7 guys on the average. Those who wrote in had more than one eventually become interested in dating her and thats what these girls wrote in about.
He could possibly be paying attention to other girls by hanging around them to see if the girl he is truly interested in reacts in jealousy to that. Most young people feel this is a good way to figure out that someone like them. However, too many on both sides are good at hiding their feelings.
SO what I suggest in this case is finding an opportunity to talk to him about class or anything in common to the situation you both are in, like if a field trip was coming up, asking what he thinks of it. Try to get a short convo going so that after it, you can say to him, "I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to do that again. Lets trade numbers so we can chat and maybe hang out as friends. If the signs he has been giving are signs of interest, maybe only as much as having a chance to get to know your personality to see if he likes you enough as a person to even keep as a friend, then you would think theres a good chance he will respond to a chance to get to know you, especially if you are not giving any signs of desperately wanting a boyfriend. Sure young males are into anything sex since going through puberty and many try to find their luck getting a girl who will let them explore, using her. Even one who is supposedly just a friend may think about asking or just make the moves but when we are young, stepping into the romance and sex realm too early can change the dynamics of a relationship so much that friendship goes out the window and a guy only wants you for sex. It won't be till he is anywhere from 25 to 30 rhat he really wakes up and realizes a female can be his best friend and sex partner and that he wants only her in his life forever. SO now is the time to learn and explore friendship which can turn into dating. Once you've been hanging as friends a while, if both of you are still interested in each other, the line you use them to possibly move forward is, "We are doing so well as good friends, that its made me wonder how we would do if we tried being more than friends. What do you think?" What you just said was acknowledge getting along well as friends, and you are wondering, not that you are romantically interested already. So he wont feel pressure and is more likely to answer truthfully. But you must state your thought, and then don't forget to ask him what he thinks. This is his chance to say, 'NO, I don't have those kinds of feelings for you, just friendship so it wouldn't work." or he might say its sounds like a good idea and he's willing to try if he does feel interested in you that way.

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