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Family issues - as an only child
Hello readers.
I'm currently 23 y/o, a 3rd year Med student. Honestly I have no clue what to do, and how to be optimistic any longer.
I am an only child, but my parents have always been fighting very frequently and my mother has already accidentally fainted twice due to her hypertension especially during the fight. It has already been years and years ever since they started to fight. Small arguments are okay, I'm grateful enough if there is no shouting or yelling or loud curse words. I feel hopeless. They've been married for 25 years now, but till now I still question how the hell did they get married seeing how bad their relationship is.
I can never understand when my peers are eager to go home when home is always the last thing on my mind. I can never feel safe, I have never experienced being in a nice, normal loving family. I've no siblings to run to, my relatives live quite far away too. I will always try to join activities to avoid going home but as peaceful as I am not being at home, I worry about my parents. I am truly scared if mother faints again, because last time she fainted she woke up with a transient facial paralysis.
Our maid left us a year ago because her mother had a heart attack, so literally I have nobody to cry to. When I have to witness them fight, it gives me trauma. It feels like I have to do something to myself. Imagine a 23 y/o who's supposed to be mature enough but sadly I'm not. I miss homes of those not mine -my auntie's, y grandmother's. I long to stay in those houses and I'd be more than eager to go to their houses.
It's already bad enough that my studies are getting difficult. However, family issues make it worse. My father is a workaholic, and my mum is a sensitive person. I don't know what to do. I wish they'd just get divorced but I don't think there'll be any. I'm stuck in this spiral. I can't afford a professional psychiatrist, i really wish I can see one.
Please, help me.
I was already close to cutting myself.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
well, call them separately and tell them your mind. Let them know how you feel, let them know that they are hurting you with their fight. Beg them to resolve their issues. Have a heart to heart conversations. And if you don't see any changes in them. Ask them to you a psychologist and if that didn't work out. I thin k separation for the main time will be the best solution for them. They may eventually hurt them and that will hurt you more
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