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Why would a man in a relationship sleeps with another woman?
Help me out here guys!
He says he’s happy in a relationship with his girlfriend and a kid with her but yet he and I went out for a half a year and slept together. But we split up and it does hurt a lot until to this day because we fell in love and loved each other and I myself having hard to get over him and he seems to be quite over me now after a year. We do still catch up at least once a week.
However, when we met up the other day for a coffee he told me he loves her otherwise he wouldn’t be with her. He says he’s done a favour splitting up with me and choosing her and their kid because it would have given me a massive headache for sure that’s what he said.
The thing is I don’t think he loves her REALLY otherwise he wouldn’t dare to go out with me and fall in love with me. I mean am I right guys?? I think it’s his habit of saying he loves her because you get into habit if you live together. I’m still in love with him and I hate myself loving him this much!!! And I know he loves me too but he just won’t say but hiding underneath that face as we both are quite sensitive and emotional people. I still cry and sad thinking of him even though we see each other once or twice a week as he says we’re mates. We’re in our late 20’s. So, so, Would a man just cheat if they’re happily ever after in a relationship? What makes them cheat? Was this a cheat or true love because we did fall in love like crazy. Sorry intelligenent advisors! Thank you!
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You are making assumptions you can not prove. No one could unless they lived in that couples home together, invisible so they could observe all the happens, like a fly on the wall. So why do men want to have regular sex with another but have a wife and say they love her?
I am female but I have heard men tell me the truth, some even when I hadn't asked them or had knowledge they were married. I was on a dating site when all my experiences happened and I found my husband through same dating site as well.
One told me on our first date that he was married. Had no sex any longer in the marriage and was looking for a relationship outside the marriage so he could have sex. I happen to not be like you. I could not mess with a married man behind his wifes back without getting her okay with it if I was not considering him for a husband, just a dating partner for sex. I earlier read a profile of two people, one male, one female, who each had a partner who was so physically sick and in pain, maybe fibromyalgia or some impediment now due to accident where they could no longer have sex with their spouse and the spouse loved them so much they didn't want their spouse who loved them still because they loved each other as best friends besides the romantic love, and didn't want their partner to have the entire life of no sex, so they gave permission for the spouse to put out an ad to see if they could find someone, maybe a widow/widower who missed sex but didn't want to ever marry again. I was thinking maybe his situation was the same so I mentioned it. His reply was that he could never tell her. Its not a medical condition, she simply got tired of sex and never wanted it again but they were best friends. This was a couple who never should have married. She was not 100% aroused by him ever in the past and went along with it or she wouldn't been still having sex if they were compatible in that area. They married as best of friends and he loved her so dearly as his best friend, he couldn't bear telling her the truth that he wanted sex with another woman because he knew she'd ask for a divorce and he couldn't afford supporting her in alimony and himself after a divorce.
I met another who said like me he was into finding his one true love for the rest of his life. But he had no trouble showing me pictures of all his female friends and how he knew them, how long they dated and how they were all now just friends. this guy was in his late forties, never married, looking way younger than his age and got calls all the time from a female he supposedly knew. I think some married men are like this, just married, as to why, I don't know, but married with the single mans mentality still of unattached, and he can't stand to not check out this women and see what she is like and then once tired of her, goes on to the next, just for the adventure of learning a new personality, a new body in sex and again, once learned, there is no temptation to stay because his goal is more the new experience and new things learned and the feeling he has for each, though he may think they are love, it is a poor imitation of love. Its basically the words without the actions behind them.
Now, a man may say he loves his wife but gets into another relationship while married. He may not actually be in love, different than just loving a person or something. Just loving is usually about certain aspects or traits of the person or thing that makes you like them or it so strongly that you feel it must be love. But if they died suddenly, would it feel like you lost an arm or leg? Would all lust for life ebb out of you and you want to die too to be with them? People who are truly in love are in love with each other, and that is not colored by their income, living situation or the storms of life that come their way. I have this with my second husband and lacked it with the first so I know what I am talking about.
I can surely state that lots of what I say here goes as well for women in reverse with her being married but cheating.
I feel that in some marriages, once the excitement of the new relationship is passed by, (new relationship energy which can be felt again when getting married) and both no longer feel these out of proportion, unnatural heightened lovey dovey all if going to be 100% Percent perfect the rest of our lives, this means the natural excitement that helps to bring two people together is no longer needed and the level of interest in each other drops to its normal level. Some people don't adjust and realize the love is still there is they aren't feeling the same level of excitement so they stay with the marriage partner but they go looking for a fix, like a drug addict because psychologist have written about this, stating that New relationship energy is a high, different than highs from drugs but a high non the less that people can become so addicted to that they will go for meeting new people and as soon as it wears off, the ones they aren't married to are easy to set aside and go on to others.
For males, having a penis is the end all be all of their life, How it looks, it's length and girth and so on, and they can't help but think about it and any women that makes their penis stir in his pants. For many married men, this occurs whether they want it to or not, they are visually oriented, and what they see makes Mr. Penis dance in the pants. However, they do not act on the fact that another woman makes him react because in reality when young almost a hundred percent of women could do that, when older, maybe somewhere closer to half and as the men get even older when their mind and penis are so in love with the wife that no matter how pretty the female he sees, he just couldn't get hard for her if he tried. Now that is a man who somehow will still get hard for his wife. I used to attend a swing club with my ex. So I can say this is true. It's not only true for my husband. I swapped partners once so my ex was with the other wife and I was somewhere else with her husband and when it came to sex, I could tell he thought I was pretty and his eyes showed his appreciation but he could not get hard. Another time I was right next to the wife who was with someone else and her husband kept going limp because I was not the wife (at this point I wondered even why they were swingers in the first place) so he'd say something, she'd stop with her partner, come over and do some oral on her hubby who sprang back to life so instantly I think my eyes bugged out in shock. Soon after she left, about 3 to 4 minutes, he lost it again. These kinds of men are so tuned in to their wives, so in love that there is no other woman on earth who could lure him away. Money couldn't either. And so I have determined by these and other experiences that the biggest problem when men are easily lured away, it is because opposite to what they think when they say they love their wife, they are not in love with her. However, that doesn't mean that the woman he saw while married is the one he is truly in love with. in love with means you'd move heaven and earth to be with that person only and find a way to overcome any obstacles. Your married guy didn't so I can safely say he is not in love with you. He may say he loves you but a sad thing is that men don't use the word lust enough. I think it has a bad connotation behind it. But half the times when a man says he is in love, he's actually in lust. I read this in a relationship book written by a psychologist. Lust is not love. Lust is more likely the initial reaction when a man is sexually attracted to a female and she shows signs she feels the same towards him. then they met often because of the lust and somewhere along the way, due to seeing each other so often, they also become friends. The love for a friend can feel as strong as the love in a committed relationship to a marriage partner. Those are however two different loves. What the other woman is then, is a friend with benefits in reality even though the man would not think of her that way, she is a girlfriend, or second lover on the side.
So know this, that you are in love with a man who won't ever leave his wife and if you may too big a fuss and won't be content with that he gives you, he can always go find another woman if there already isn't a second or third side woman. I have a document I can paste in for you if you want to read it. I think it might help you to understand how to choose a man. Certainly not someone already taken or married. Divorced for sure and singles are up for grabs. But really, this involves making a couple lists to find the right guy for you, way beyond good looks and income, the kind of stuff where its so good you'll be together to the end of your days. If you are interested, let me know, Its called How to find Mr. Right.
IMPORTANT: If you do want to ask for this, you must look me up under columnists, find Dragonflymagic, open my column and choose the button to write to me to ask for it. If you post in in comments about this current answer, I can not click anywhere to write you back.
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