|
Hi Drangonflymagic,
how're you? thank you a million for reading and i'm sorry for my long story but thank you for your suggestions and listening.
this is me, i'm the one who wrote you about the guy and has a girlfriend, and also he's divorced from his first relationship and has a kid with her too and with current girlfriend he has a kid too. well, two kids from two relationship. but he's a good father and an amazing boyfriend during our few months together. hard working, friendly and polite.
Yes, you're absolutely right dragonflymagic, i'm not at peace and i'm not happy at all. NOT AT ALL. i cry a lot because of him. he told me, 'i do love you but i can't commit you darling' because he's got kid with the girlfriend plus they've been together for almost 4 years but i'd say it's just a number. after paying me a visit when he leaves he's sad and gloomy because of me, because he knows that he can't give me more than that as he's already in a relationship and has a kid. i'm thinking now now, it's my fault sometimes. his eyes were opened when he was on a holiday that we both dating is wrong, told him i want him to be with me, he asked me back you want me to abandon my family? i told him, no stay with them. the thing is this is his second relationship plus he's a very family and traditional guy so i'm just thinking he's desperately trying to make this relationship work with her. for example we both are very sexual and believe me dragonflymagic, I'VE NEVER EVER MET ANYONE WHO HAS A SAME SEXUAL DRIVE AS ME BEFORE and i've only had 3 boyfriends in my life but he's the best one by far. he knows how to satisfy me and i know how to satisfy him plus we both have a lot in common. one day he was asking me try new position and i told him, nooo, haven't you tried this position with her and he said, NO, she doesn't like sex, in return i replied, sex is very important in a relationship it's very essential, don't you reckon dragonflymagic?? am i right? he does tells me if they split up he will come to me because he knows i love him and he does love me too. last week he told me, we're not doing a aright thing, are we, i told him you're mature enough you should know and he told me back the same. i'm away at the moment i asked him if he will think of me (more like i meant miss me) ALWAYS baby always i always think of you, he said. can you see dragonflymagic i mean he does love me but because it's his second relationship plus he's traditional and conservative, that's why says he can't commit to me, at least he's honest. what do you think about her not liking sex, him saying he does love me, if they split up he will come to me and we're not doing thing having sex still even though we broke up? im so sad still dragonflymagic, i'm actually thinking of moving, i don't know.....
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hello again. I think this is part you being taken in by his words as being the problem. YOu say he said the following, "he does tells me if they split up he will come to me
And I'll bet he didn't bother to tell you what kind of circumstances other than not enjoying sex with her constitute something to break up over. I already told you that leaving her doesn't mean he is abandoning his child. He must see a lawyer and get visitation rights and pay child support.
As far as good sex, I do know that there are many males these days who lack a sexual drive. My husbands daughter, (my 2nd marriage) as a teen and college student asked if she was not attractive because the majority of males who wanted to date her did not have a sex drive. If you look up failing sex drive in men the web mentions stuff that seems to pertain to older men not young guys in teen or college years but they are also having troubles. So I know how frustrating it can be.
At my late 40s I was divorced and on a dating site. I did mention that I was looking for a sexual man with a sex drive. Almost all made awful remarks to what they could do in bed but didn't address anything else on my list of criteria. The man I met and married, did not even mention sex but went on to share who he was as a man and that it was a given that he liked my looks and the fact I was sexual or he wouldn't have written, but that was it, one sentence refering to it. So I know that such men are out there, you just have to be patient to find them.
Your guy is making excuses as I see it. It doesnt matter how sad he seems when he leaves you because he is not in prison, he is not chained to her, there is no reason why he can not start over with you. It took him 2 relationships so far to realize he didn't know what he was looking for. Maybe he has figured that out since he's with you. HOwever, he seems to have trouble looking at his situation from a different angle and of course he is lying to the gf. He has trouble problem solving so instead, he doesn'st apply himself and of course there is no need to since he is getting what he needs from you for free. The price for what you give him, is the full relationship with no other women in the picture, only his children from previous relationships. There is a saying, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. I understand the reason you do this is because the sex is the best you've ever had but this guy is choosing to make himself not fully available to you. So there is nothing else to say. Just continue to enjoy the sex and if you are not on birth control, anticipate that sooner or later he will have a third child with you. You will be raising a child with a man who has two current families, you being one of them and an ex wife and extra child. At the rate he is going, don't expect he will have much to offer you in finances so you will be in the same spot as a single mom finance wise. IF this scenerio sounds good to you, then you don't have to do a thing, cus this is pretty much your guaranteed future. If you want a family man who is with you 100% of the time and is having kids only with you and has a great sex drive, then current guy can only meet the last one, great sex, but not the others. And that would mean leaving him. So either you give up on any dreams and ideals you have to enjoy good sex the rest of your life with him or leave him and start looking elsewhere. I have nothing else to tell you.
]
More Questions: |