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hello dragonflymagic,
how you doing? few days ago, i wrote you and asked you about the swingers club that my boyfriend of 5 months was suggesting about. but recently he said he was just winding me up and he said to me, 'you're too serious' i asked him back so were you just testing me then, he said, obviously. I'm like what the hell! why would he call me too serious and why would he test me? i mean we're friends for a year before we dated but this is like he don't trust me or something. he's a jealous type but i don't mind, I'd like him to be jealous. thank you dragonflymagic!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you know he is a jealous type, This next part comes from dating experts: Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
So maybe even though you haven't asked for it, I'll post for you a short 7 question test to see if your guy really loves you. You may think its not enough time so if you can ask yourself the same another 6 months down the road and do not get the good results you want, then you either choose to stay with someone where you know you're settling for less or you move on. Heres that test:
7 Questions to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says I love you, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
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