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Could It Be?
I’ve liked this guy for a while now, but he moved away quite a few months ago. We’ve been maintaining contact through text but I wonder if he sees me as a friend... or something else. It’s difficult because there’s no face-to-face time. But recently I was telling him about how I feel I’m weird and he said he didn’t think I was weird, more that I was a sweetheart and the loveliest person he’s met. He tends to be very nice to those he likes (I mean friends and whatnot, its his way of acting) so I don’t know if that means something more, especially since he didn’t call me a friend. I’m very bad at this and that’s why I want to know for sure, I love the friendship I have with him and wouldn’t want to jeopardize that.
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When it comes to being attracted to another person, the visual physical attraction is one thing and the other is everything that makes up who you are inside, your personality and character. If a guy is attracted to the outside you get two different actions depending on the type of guy. 1 is the guy who because of the visual stimulation is interested in having sex, and that only. Doesn't mean he is at all interested in getting to know the you inside.
2 is the guy who is truly looking for a long term or life time mate and is first looking for someone he feels physical chemistry with and then of those, he spends enough time to get to know the personality, then chooses one to get to know even better before deciding on forever. This is the dating period.
THere was no mention of him being physically attracted to you, if he were, you'd probably know because unless he is extremely shy and quiet and secretly crushing on a girl, with most guys, they willl attempt to ask you out. A guy does not ask out a girl he is not physically attracted to. For that matter, neither would any female ask out a guy she is not attracted to because you wouldn't want to encourage someone to pursue you back if you can't stand the idea of even holding hands not to mention sharing a kiss.
So I am almost 100 percent sure that from what you have shared only, that he doesn't sound interested in you physically. A friend is all you are right now. Wether that might ever change, is only a slight possibility based on taking the infatuation out of your mind into the real world if he shows interest in hanging out with you in person and taking you out, the time needed to get to know someone better. Two people can do that as friends if they are single and not seeing anyone else. Its during those times that as they get to know each other, one or both decide that there's something there or that there isn't. The problem is that sometimes only one of two people are attracted when the other doesn't feel any attraction.
This is about pheromones. I spent time on dating sites before meeting my second husband and can tell you that there is such a thing as two people being attracted to the other persons personality and all and maybe their physical looks as well but when they meet in person, they realize that spark, that magic feeling, that sexual awareness of them and feeling that attraction in just the look in their eyes, touching of hand or even a kiss is either there or not. I met with a guy at a restaurant. He seemed online to be everything I was looking for. In person, both he and I realized already as we were waiting for our order and verbalized it that neither of us felt that romantic spark or attraction. So one person in some cases can tell there is no attraction while the other person is so sure that they do. Its a chemistry thing, but its lacking so the attraction there isn't based on pheromones which I deem very important. Lets explain this way to make sure
I will share it simply with paint colors. Lets say you are blue paint. If he is totally 100% blue paint, the color matches and doesnt change. If you are blue and he is yellow, there is nothing at all the same, everything clashes and you end up with green. If you are 100 percent blue and he is 50% or more blue mixed with something else, then there may be enough blue for you to be attracted to him, and vice versa. Maybe a bad example but its the vast differences in pheromones that you come with that make all the difference. You can't change your pheromones. And the idea is to find not only your best friend but someone who is also your best sexual equal. Heres a good example. I liked one guy I met even at dinner so there must have been enough pheromones to still feel some attraction. So when we went out to our prospective cars, I made sure to get a kiss goodnight. And the kiss was the telling factor. It felt gross like getting a romantic kiss from a male relative. He didn't do anything wrong. He'd be hot stuff for the right gal but our chemistry wasn't enough for me to feel the sexual spark. If I can't get past the kiss, there will be no sex ever.
So just try every once in a while just hanging out in person as friends, if you feel he hasn't had enough chance to get to know you well enough to discover he does feel a spark for you or not. If you've known each other for a year or two and have seen each other very often weekly monthly, then he may already have a good idea of who you are and nice as you are, not feel any inclination. But if short term knowing him, then give it a chance yet to see if anything happens but that can only happen hanging out in person. OFten attraction starts on a friend level, then it gets to the point where both may be developing feelings and afraid to lose the friendship if the other doesn't feel the same. It depends on if the two were attracted enough as friends to care as deeply as any married couple, just minus the romance and sex. If there is a background of this kind of friendship, then at one point you can ask, "We do so good together as friends. It makes me wonder how we would do as 'more than friends'. WHat do you think?" This way you aren't stating that you have feelings already and scare him away. You ask for his opinion. If he still hasn't developed feelings slowly, then he'll answer no we're just friends nothing more. If he's been afraid to share his feelings for fear of losing you as a friend, then he'll grab at the opportunity to check it out together with you to see whether you can be friends. Females develope feelings that aren't based deep enough, more just from the romance so don't consider that enough dear. Hope this helps.
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