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Panhandlers
14. I've lived in Manhattan all my life and take subways on an almost daily basis. I'm used to beggars, and have always been warned not to give to these people bc they're mostly drug addicts, and I don't.
Today, however, my mind may have been changed. So me and my friends who ride the subway with me like to mock these people under our breaths, making dramatic stories of our own. This woman came on with purple hair, a leather purse, designer clothes, and a face full of makeup claiming she was a single, homeless mom. Her story went on for a while (longer than most) and had a lot of details including naming her kids and telling us about her background, and we were having a field day. We were going "I have five kids and I live on the streets my husband's dead I got relocated to Kyrgyzstan and my baby was stolen by gypsies" "I lost my job I lost my pants I lost my shoes I lost my cat-" "I lost my dignity-" "I lost my drug dealer's phone number" "guys I'm totally homeless that's how I got these designer clothes" and after a while of us laughing and talking louder than we normally do I looked over and realized she was hearing every word we were saying. The two of us made eye contact for a while, and I noticed she was crying. She went to the next car, and we just kept on with our business.
There was something pathetic about her, like she seemed genuinly desperate and for some reason that woman out of all the beggars I've seen made me feel genuinly sad. Like I actually began to worry I just let a real homeless mother go empty handed. And me and my friends, we're not rich either; my dad works 3 jobs and my mom 2 and we still barely got our necessities, one of my friends is being brought up by a single mother, another one of us has a father who just lost his job, etc. But we still can't empathize with another poor person. Perhaps we view ourselves as somewhat above them for not being dishonest or pathetic.
Should I start giving to these beggars or keep my money in my pocket?
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Hon, I can tell you from a standpoint of being around the homeless a lot and now choosing not to pay extremely high rates for apartments and living out of our van, that there are some things to know before you decide to help.
In truth, the greatest portion of the homeless are either drug dealers or the mentally ill and not all of either of these are obviously so. There are some who will sell you a sob story. Usually the ones who approach you outside a fast food place or outside stores have you thinking they're just hungry or need to buy something important but dont have the money.
Living as we do, we meet many. Luckily we can carry some food stuff in our van and have made sandwiches to give to those who are homeless. But its best to offer to take them inside the fast food place and buy them a meal or give them protein bars or something you always carry on you. If you offer food and they are a drug addict, they most likely won't take the food unless they are truly hungry. We have been told no before that they don't want food from us, just money. Thats a give away. We have also met nice regular people like you and me although these are fewer in percentage wise. I will guess about 10 percent or so. One persons story was getting into a car wreck that had them hospitalized for months so they lost the shop they ran, their vehicle, had no money and had to start living on the street. Eventually the man began to see an advocate for the homeless who helped the man after he found a job and got him into low income housing. Most people are a paycheck away from being broke and then a month away from losing their apartment or not able to pay mortgage. We know many homeless who live out of their vehicles who at least work and so have enough money to go take showers at the pool or a gym and use a laundromat and come across looking not anything or smelling anything like a homeless person. So sometimes, we are just stringing it together. Technically tho my husband and I live out of our vehicle, we are considered the homeless as you can't just park it anywhere. We met an older lady who lost her job, then her apartment and showed up at the library we were at to hang out cus she didn't know what to do. She was hungry so we shared food with her, told her of the churches in the area serving meals and agencies in the area that could help. She soon got a cashier job and eventually got another place but she was living in her car for close to a year and through winter. We share tips with people on how to stay warm living in a vehicle during cold times.
For you, I am sure you can think of things that will help people. Heres a list of the greatest needs for those without a vehicle.
NO money or towel to take a shower or way to get there. Solution, give out free towels you pick up second hand and money for a bus fare to the local pool with the address written down for them.
Need of clean clothes or new clothes. Offer to go to the closest laundromat with them, you put the coins in the washer and buy soap at the laundromat and they get a clean load of clothes. Or just ask what it is they are needing like if a new pair of socks or underwear or a hoodie is all they need, take them in a discount store for those items or seond hand store unless its underwear which you would need to buy new. The homeless need these thins so bad they will steal them, go to the nearest public restroom, change into them and leave their dirty clothes behind. I worked a fast food place and went to clean the restroom finding stickers for the new items in the trash and old filthy jeans and underwear in a pile on the floor.
Food. Solution is those gift books of coupons you can buy for food at fast food places so you aren't handing out money. Hand them something you have with you or take them inside even a grocerys deli and offer to pay for the food they get.
They have no way to keep perishable items so on hot days, an offer of something as simple as ice water is a big thing and letting them know what churches in the area offer hot cooked meals is great especially in winter. Most have to walk to where ever they go. we volunteer at one church to help prepare meals. there about 8 to a dozen people each tuesday. Then we eat our meal there too. If you have the time, thats a good way to help the homeless without investing money, just helping the church prepare the food and its simple stuff like cutting up apples or other fruit, sorting through the donations of day old breads or other foods and tossing what is too bruised or spoiling and I don't even work with meat at all, I am vegetarian. LOL
Its the little things we take for granted that are special.things even i have that others don't. I still have my comfy bed in van, a storage place where i switch to store winter or summer clothes.
Some homeless might be willing to work but with no way to bath or even get clean clothes, they can't even go looking for some part time minimum wage jobs.
As for this woman you came across, the homeless can panhandle enough to buy themselves second hand designer stuff, however I do not see them, especially the women bother with the extra niceties of spending money or makeup, their nails or hair. That alone makes me suspicious but then you never know, she could be newly homeless and having a hard time of letting the frivolous stuff slide. When it comes to paying for the few things you must pay for, like a cell phone bill, thats one thing all homeless seem to have, a cell phone of their own and they might do the pay as you go. Even those living on the streets and not the working homeless who live in their vehicle, have cell phones. My husband and I also pay for a place to get mail at a mail box place, our car tabs and insurance, the gym membership for workouts but mostly to use for showering, our cell phones. Hubby calls himself the evolved homeless.
If you come up with other situations you come across or want to pass any ideas past me, just write to me from my column, not where you put comments in rating.
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