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How to not be shy in class and why am I shy
17/f
I'm in a really small school, there's 12 people in my grade. In my geography class, there is 7 of us. The teacher is my favourite she's really nice but for some reason I'm really shy in that class. In math and bio I participate and answer questions and I don't even like the teachers but in geography I know the answers but I'm to shy to answer. When I try answer, my voice literally just won't come out or if it does it's really soft. Why am I so shy to participate in class when it's my favourite teacher? I've been in the school since I was 6 and the teacher is young and isn't intimating at all. How can I get myself not to be shy in her class and to get my voice to actually come out?
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So if I get this right, you have no trouble in other classes or anywhere in your life with being outgoing and the social butterfly, just this one class. If that is the case, then I would agree with the other advice person, that in your mind, since you like this teacher, you are more conscious of what you are saying, even if you the answers. You are deep down afraid of what she might think of you as a person. I have heard of students that had teachers where the friendship was mutual, some teachers acted like the big sister in that case. So you have a fear of being found lacking in some way in her eyes, not as a student but as another person and possibly a friend.
I understand you may not even be thinking this with your conscious mind, and thats why you don't know. However I believe this is more important to your subconscious mind. There is such a thing as our conscious and subconscious minds warring with each other by the actions you take or things you say. All I can tell you is what I myself have done that works for me. I treat my subconscious like a totally different person inside of me. Like a best friend who wants to please me. Your sub. is in awe of this teacher and so afraid to speak up. It is your subconscious choosing to take your voice away and keep you silent so there is no chance of offending her in some way, maybe even coming across as immature due to your age when she is of course years older. Your subconscious is possibly afraid of rejection by her.
So when my sub is afraid of something, I talk to it, in my mind or out loud in private, as if talking to a kid sister. If you had a younger sister who was afraid of walking alone in the mall, you wouldn't callously say, Good gosh, just get the guts and do it and stop whining about it. No, instead you would try to help her face her fear in tiny steps. So if you are feeling the fear inside of just going to the mall the day before, you tell her there is no reason to be afraid as you are going tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, you feel the fear again and say, you're not at the mall yet, no reason to feel fear and it goes away as she's reassured. You now arrive at the mall but are in the parking lot and say, no reason to fear, we're still outside the mall. YOu work yourself up to the point of what it is you want to do but your subconcious is holding you back on. I did this with a dentist visit way back when and no longer fear going to the dentist ever. I feel in control.
There must be a way you can do something like that which will apply in your situation. YOu do have to tell yourself that teachers don't usually have close relationships with students and that is always a concern for officials higher up. But you can at least try to be friendly in class. Let your subconscious know that for now, you're not going to focus on answering normally but just taking small steps to be friendlier than usual to your teacher. Bring her a bouquet of flowers from your garden. If she asks the occasion, you can say you wanted to do something special because she;s your favorite teacher or simply tell her that when handing her the flowers.
You are in luck as there are many National appreciation days in the US. and others worldwide. I looked it up and heres one up coming you can use to do something special for her. It's coming up the first full week in May.
National Teacher Day is on Tuesday during Teacher Appreciation Week, which takes place in the first full week of May. The National Education Association (NEA) describes National Teacher Day as "a day for honoring teachers and recognizing the lasting contributions they make to our lives".
Try to engage her in little bits of convo here and there just before or after class. Your time will be limited due to other classes to attend so at least you can tell yourself, you don't have to talk long. But on a Monday you can ask how her weekend was and if she did anything special. Maybe theres time to tell her one thing you did that weekend. Slowly get yourself used to feeling more comfortable with her. Realise that teachers tend to really develop a special care for their students, not as close as love for mom and dad or ones mate, but a strong liking for each one and are sad to see them go at the end of the year. I remember my daughters going to a school event at their grade school when they were in junior high or HS and got a chance to see some of their old teachers there and it was a blast for them and the teachers. I watched the teachers faces light up and hugs were exchanged and teachers would ask how their lives were going. Having someone that you see daily for an entire year is going to build some caring and closeness to students and vice versa. So don't worry about rejection. From talking to a teacher once who confided in me, the only kids they find it hard to get close to are the ones who act up, disobey and disrupt the class , etc. They are concerned for them but won't have that special teacher-student bond.
So tell your subconscious, (like talking to yourself) that you want to slowly build that connection/bond with your favorite teacher and it means having to talk to her a little. Soon you will find it easier to do and since you know all the answers, eventually will find speaking up in class is no longer an issue.
Let me know how it goes dear.
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Sometimes we may tend to be shy in front or around the people we care about or care about their opinions. For example to this teacher you like, if you were to speak up and say the wrong thing, it would affect you more than if you spoke up in the other classes where you don't care for the teacher. My advice to you is to let yourself be outspoken, practice in front of a mirror just like if you were in class. Remember that no question is stupid. Speak your mind, you will see that you will feel happier and it will help you in the long run. Smile.
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