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Can a man stay in a bad relationship even though he don’t love her?
Hi, he’s a divorcee and got a kid from her first relationship. He’s in a second relationship at the mo and got a gf plus kid with her, they’ve been together for merely 4 years. But he wasn’t happy with her for a while as they were not communicating. On the other hand me and him are good friends and known for almost 2 years despite knowing his situation we fell for each other and dated for few months but he decided to call it off and said because I pushed him too hard and he’s got a family to think about and we’re never going to happen now or not in 10 years time as he don’t want a stress top of that he’s got a lot of stress, he loved me and I loved him, I still do, he’s just a very kind, genuine, caring, smart and understanding guy ever. I just think he’s still with her because he don’t want to have a second failed relationship and worried what other people might say, he’s just with her for the sake of other people’s happiness, he’d say what would his family might say if they know their son is having a second failed relationship so I’m just thinking he’s just don’t love her, he’s with her coz they got a kid, I still think deep down he loves me but since he split up he don’t say anymore but I’d say to him still like we used to, miss you and love you. My question is, is he just sympathising their relationship? Can a men stay in a bad relationship even though he don’t love her but he says he does? I love him still so is this wrong to love a guy who’s got a kid and gf? I hope you don’t judge me! We both are in our 30’s. What do you reckon guys? Am I wrong to love this father of 2? Guys help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
One can't control who their heart is going to love or why. That said, just because we love something, does not necessarily mean its good for us. A diabetic may like sweets but if they eat any, it can mess with their blood sugar and maybe kill them.
Same for a relationship. I am not judging hon. I fell for a man after my divorce. This man was separated. We fell in love. Then after some months, she told him she wanted to get together and fix their marriage. He now cared about two women. Since he had kids with her, he decided to go back to her but not without shedding lots of tears. Sometimes we have to do the hard thing and deny something in our lives we really love.
Mulling over what his reasons are for staying is not going to change anything.
I can understand wanting to find someone to love you and be with you until your dying day. Its rare to find. Most people marry when they are young...young enough to not have much relationship skills or having the ability to see potential problems in a certain person, that was my mistake with first husband. I learned in the school of hard knocks so to speak. So I believe that just because a person gets divorced once, that doesn't mean that they are a bad person, more likely just matched up with the wrong person for them as I was.
However, if there is more than one divorce or failed relationship, its possibly pointing to the fact there may be something that person has not learned yet, something that is important for having the best relationship possible. This man is responsible for one child support. If he were to leave her and go with you, then he would be responsible for two child supports and that takes away lots of money from a household budget. If you think he's stressed now, leaving and starting another relationship, he would be even more stressed and part of it would be about financial woes that just can't be fixed. Think ahead dear, thats one future problem, fighting over lack of money and where the little of it goes. Another potential fight is where he puts his attention. You are young enough to have kids yet. I can see resentment when he takes time to go see his other kdis and you feel he doesn't give enough time or more time to you and the kids you have with him. Those are just a couple that I know of couples who have fought over those things. There are likely more. I met lots of men hon, through internet dating. But it was easy to feel something for a guy, the heart engages too easily, even if the guy has faults I would rather not live with. But I learned not to let my heart lead the decisions, but allow logic to lead.
If and when you are ready to look for Mr Right for you, I do have instructions I can share with you, how I found my 2nd husband. We're together almost 9 yrs and more in love every day. I got the inspiration from God as to what to do and would love to share it with you. I beleive it helps greatly in determining if a guy is right for you and you for him. But if you wish me to give it to you, you can't answer in where you post ratings. You need to go to my column and click the button to contact me.
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