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Is he ready or not
Hi so me and my boyfriend are both juniors in highschool and we’ve been together for about 7 months. So like when we’re tobether we do the regular like making out and stuff but we were sitting at his table doing homework and he normally rubs he inside of my thigh but like today he started inching his way up my thigh and like I was okay with it because I wanted it to happen. (We’ve known eachother for a long ass time and if it was anyone else I wouldn’t be ready but for him I was ) so I go over to his house a lot and everytime I do his hand slowly makes his way up and at some point it eventually got there so like now he will kinda rub me outside my pants. But like whenever I put my hand near him like the inside of my thighs close to him he will freeze and then try to do something to make me move my hand without saying move your hand and I’m just confused because he does stuff to me like he’s ready but whenever it comes to him he like completley shuts down. And like recently we’ll be in his room and we’re kissing and I’m on top of him u know getting our thing on and we don’t have sex because we already talked about not wanting to do that yet but like I’m on top kissing and grinding or whatever but like anytime it comes to my hand coming close to him he just like freezes and I’m just confused if he’s insecure or he’s ready but he’s not like idk
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I think the reason he freezes or tries to move you away is one of the differences between boys and girls. You say you have talked about not having sex. It sounds like you are ready to go to the next step and let him finger you and this is fine if this is what you want and have the will power to stop at this point.
You will get sexual relief and orgasm and maybe wet his hand in doing so. For a boy to orgasm or climax it is much messier and with you rubbing him out side his pants or grinding against him it could cause him to ejaculate and the evidence would be very noticeable.
If it is your intention to give him the same type of relief he is giving you with fingering then you and he need to have a talk first. I think he knows that you like him fingering you outside your pantie. You need to tell him if this is where you draw the line or if he can actually touch and finger your vagina. If you want to give him the same type of relief with a hand job (rubbing his penis) or oral sex then it is necessary for him to take his pants and underpants off so as not to ejaculate into them.
You have to be ready to see him half naked and no matter the size of his penis don't say anything that would lead him to think it's to small or to large. Just like women and their breast men are the same way with their penis's.
I do not advocate you two having sexual intercourse. But once the barriers come down, meaning the removal of any clothing, your and or his you start down the slippery slope of desire overruling good sens. So talk to him and decide together just how far each of you want to go and make sure not to cross that line.
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With making out and heading towards making love, a couple needs to be mentally and physically prepared. Physically meaning the girl is on birth control already BEfore they get to that point, and mentally, being able to discuss and talk out what they are feeling and want to do. Communication is Vital to having a good sex experience and its not just a one time thing when you're first starting or the first few times. No matter how long I've been with my husband, we both communicate every time we make love, without fail. Sometimes its, my body is reacting to a certain touch or move and next time it isn't and I never know when or why but I let him know to try something else. Or he will vocalize what he'd like to do next with me. You two have created the sexual guessing game using only gestures and not speaking about it. Thats like trying to play Charades only in sex and that does not work very well.
I suggest you ask him. I can't know exactly why he wouldn't want you to touch him at all. I have an active imagination though and can come up with lots of possibilities and they may all be wrong and knowing a list of possibilities still doesn't inform you which one it is, unless you'd prefer to go through a list and continue playing charades to guess which is the correct answer. Also, there needs to be a certain level of trust between the two for him to actually answer you truthfully if you ask. For example, if he is ashamed of how his penis looks, size, blemishes...he may not answer at all. If he is afraid of getting you pregnant, it may be he prefers to not be touched and get aroused to the point he may lose control and try to have penis in vagina sex right on the spot. Perhaps he is one of many young males these days with sexual difficulties. My husbands daughter confided that every guy she dated in college had low to no sex drive. Others had problems getting hard. Why? It wasn't her. I have heard of others with same issues and all I can think of is the toxicity of our planet somehow affecting babies in-utero, with some reports saying that there is a greater percentage of male baby genitalia that is smaller than average. So you'd have no way of knowing if he has difficulties sexually and he may be too embarrassed to share that but with desire for a female, all he is limited to is kissing and touching her. However he never spoke a word asking if it was okay to touch you and just waiting for a reaction so likely you are the first person he's ever done this with and so is extremely cautious and taking it slow as he doesn't want to scare you off. You might want to get on the pill, too many girls still freak out due to accidents with condoms and think they are pregnant. Condoms are okay protection for some STD's. NOt herpes tho if the site of outbreaks is not covered by condom and if he knows he has a version of it, that may be holding him back. I know its hard to start talking about sex. I used to not be able to speak the word 'Sex" when I was in my early twenties and married! But I know once you force yourself to speak out loud of sexual topics, you get over how uncomfortable it felt and it gets easier, but it is important the two of you talk.
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