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Right, could you guys explain when a friend says he don’t know when he’s asked if he loves his girlfriend. We’re good friends. Lately he’s been having a bit of a problem in his relationship as he don’t seem to be into her anymore. The only fact I’m thinking he’s still with her is that they have a 2 year old boy together plus they live together. I’d like to help him and I asked him do you love her, do you still love her, he replied he don’t know, I said either yes or no mate?! I think he has a sympathy towards her because they have a young kid together. I want him to be happy as he’s looks miserable plus few of my other friends like him and he’s a good lad overall. Any advice please?! Do you guys reckon he’s fallen out of love with his girlfriend or still loves her when he said simply he don’t know?? Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Theres love and theres in love. Technically you would think its the same. We overuse the word love to describe many things other than a relationship like I absolutely love surfing, or I love chocolate or I love the Dallas Cowboys football team. People can change their minds easily and perhaps chocolate is still liked but now their favorite thing they love is cheesecake. This kind of love is one that you can get along without chocolate in your life or seeing your favorite sports team. So if something bad happened and your favorite team disbanded and no longer played, oh well, you find another favorite easily even tho you might miss your team. People tend to think of relationships that way. They love certain aspects of a person but if that person was not in their life, they could easily go on because they were not 'in love' with that person. If you are in love, you know it and your partner knows it and if by some accident you lose them and they die, you feel your life is over because the two of you were so much a part of each others life that it feels like you just lost a piece of yourself like an arm or a leg. And they were so unique that no one else can replace them, you can't just find another person like you'd switch to watching a different team that you now love.
If he answers he doesn't know, then I'd have to say, he was never in love with her but only liked/loved a few things about her and that is not enough to carry a relationship along life long. I understand they have a child but if the child is raised with parents who do not love each other, they can not learn what a happy solid relationship is like. So if two people who are badly mismatched or no longer love each other remain together, it really isn't good for themselves and the child(ren) If the commitment level in the beginning was strong enough like marriage or a couple who without license promised to be with each other life long, then it is a good idea to go for couples counseling. Not to automatically save a relationship but first find out what the actual issues might be and realize whether they still love each other. The problem is that most dating couples with issues never were in love to begin with and don't want to go for counseling to learn what is wrong and fix it. If in love, yes, most would want to discover the problem and work on fixing it but to invest money and time on a counselor when a person never invested life long commitment into a relationship, is something that rarely happens. If he was truly in love once and now feels neglected because of the amount of time focused on the child instead of him, well that is a typical problem that arises for some couples. That can be worked through if they still love each other but the child distracted them from each other. With all I've explained, its best to get counseling to discover where they still stand with each other. If they won't do that, it might be best to split, he does child support and each finds themselves a new partner they really are in love with.
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