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i cant stand him, i rly cant
Hi :) its me again...so we went(this friday, 3rd November) to a class trip. we went to cabin to party the whole class (its a tradiotion to go on trip like this after a prom. and we had a prom a week ago , on friday)...so as i told you the boy(he´s my classmate) that rejected me, he doesnt talk to me, he doesnt notice me at all but he talks to EVERYONE in my class...so now im back from the "party trip" we went on..and i really dont get him...when we met there in the cabin ...he greeted everyone but me , didnt talk to me at all trip ..and when we were walking to the railway station going back home he was asking me something, he tried to talk to me , and when we were saying goodbye to each other he kinda hugged me.. so i really dont know whats wrong with him...but still my heart is still aching like someone broke my leg or something...and really dont want to go to school , having to see him again and again....but my teacher that teachs me German language is also a school counselo/psychologist ...and i was wondering that i should tell her about my problem..i dont know should i ? i dont know if i have courage to do so ?
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I don't think the counselor is needed yet. It depends on what happens when you talk to him about this. Who knows, some guys are not sensitive types and don't pick up on things they do that may irritate others. Its hard to imagine he personally said Hi to everyone your grade level at school unless its quite a small group. i am thinking at least 100 or more people. But it must have felt like he greeted everyone but you.
There is another possible reason for him avoiding you and not talking to you with others around especially, and that reason would be that he is very interested in you. He has a crush on you.
It is no different for females who get a crush on a guy and are too scared they'll do something stupid or make a fool of themselves if they even approach and talk to the other person. Why people do this is because it is too important to them that they impress the one they are crushing on and for whatever reasons, they feel they may not measure up and so they don't even try to make contact. Obviously, he knows you well enough to be on talking terms but doesn't.
It could be he started out just liking you as a classmate or friend but when his feelings changed to feel more than a friend, he was too afraid now to blow it so he pulls away. I don't get it either hon, I know adult males who've done the pull away and be distant thing to me too, at all ages, not just when young. Its a male trait, thinking they are protecting the female from getting upset...in your case from being disgusted that he is into you and grossed out, or letting you know he likes you but afraid you might not feel the same in return. You didn't give examples of the conversation but the fact he singled you out to say something and give the kinda hug which I assume is the sideways hug with the one arm, means that he is interested. He would not get your hopes up if he was not attracted to you that way. If it were you, would you approach a male classmate you are not interested in that way and say hi and talk to him if you were not attracted or even grossed out by the guy? Of course you wouldn't cus you'd be afraid of the guy picking up on you just being nice for the wrong reasons and assume you really like him and want to date. These kinds of thoughts do go through peoples minds and have no reason to be believed until proven otherwise.
He may be too sensitive to teasing and riduculing of his male friends and not want to approach you much publicly. On the way to the train, either you were pretty much alone with no one really near others were all around you. I don't know which it is. So he may not be embarrassed, just has no clue how to leave good clues that he is interested. At least I assume so because he spoke to you and hugged. That is what makes me pretty sure. I don't know why you say he 'tried' to talk, unless others were constantly saying hi to him and interrupting. Otherwise, he would have talked about whatever he wanted. It might shed more light to know what the convo was. But as I said the last bit you revealed tells much. So I would approach him when no one else is around or write him a letter and pass it to him, asking him to read and please respond to you with an answer.
Don't accuse him of ignoring you just in case that's not what he's doing. You don't want to upset someone with innocent intentions. I'll call him Tim. Say, Tim, I need to clear the air about something and it involves you. When in the group setting with classmates, it feels to me like you greet and talk to everyone but me. I understand that is probably not your intention but that is how it has come across to me. Then on the way back home, walking to the train, you actually talked to me and kinda side hugged me. I don't think you'd do that if you were not interested in me as at least a friend. So I am confused and asking you if it's just a personality conflict and you feel we are too much different and are truly avoiding me. If so, being friendly like you did sends a conflicting message. I do like you as a classmate, a friend and am open to more if it works out that way. (don't scare him off by saying you want to be his girlfriend or feel you love him. Guys get scared and will avoid that if they feel a gal is trying to rush him to feel something she already feels but he doesn't yet and so they often will back off totally. They want time to be able to let a friendship grow into something more. So even if you hope for more, don't reveal it. At this starting stage, if he asks point blank if you're into him or like him, just leave it at liking him lots as a friend and open to if it eventually turns into something more. That won't make him feel pressured. Too many girls want a boyfriend to show off to their friends and not every guy if ready to be some gals 'trophy' just to make her happy. I hope this helps. If you left out any other important info, please let me know. You cana't write too much info when dealing with me. I take my time and write out all details and possible thoughts to help others understand. I don't feel a one line answer cuts it most the time.
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