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talking to a guy online
I had no idea what category to pick for this. I'm probably going to sound crazy and weird, but I just want an opinion.
I'm 20/F. I recently joined a forum dedicated to a particular fetish. On this forum, I have started chatting with one particular guy.
In school, we were always taught to be cautious because you never know if the person you are talking to online is a random middle aged man trying to use you. Well, ironically enough, the guy I'm talking to is almost 50, but he's not trying to use me and he isn't acting creepy at all. He's been quite clear about his age, and he knows my age. He's told me that he's married and has three daughters around my age. He's very polite and respectful, and tells me he doesn't want to cross any of my boundaries because he likes talking to me.
We've been talking quite a bit over the past couple weeks. Mostly about stuff related to the fetish. Despite that, our conversations are not
at all sexual, mostly given the age gap, though I wouldn't be comfortable with it in any situation. There are brief mentions of being excited or aroused, but that's it. Zero details, nothing more than a mention.
I've been pretty careful, despite how nice he's being. The only things he really knows are my age and what country I live in. I haven't given him my name, and he hasn't pushed for it. He hinted once, but I told him I was uncomfortable giving it to him, and he immediately backed off. (I suppose I could easily give a fake name, but he's calling me by my favourite colour right now, and I quite enjoy it). We've sent a few pictures to each other, but none nude and none showing faces.
I just want to know if you think this is an okay thing for me to be doing. He doesn't seem creepy at all, just friendly and lonely, and he isn't pushing for anything. A couple times he's said things that he thought might be crossing a line and proceeded to apologize several times before I told him I wasn't at all uncomfortable with what he had said. To me it seems like a relatively harmless relationship, but I would like an outside opinion.
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Thank you for thinking of asking me. I am an open minded person. While doing such a thing isn't my cup of tea, doesn't mean it won't work well for others.
I do know there are many men, some in committed relationships and married who have sexual fetishes and others not part of the sex act but non the less, acts that arouse a person sexually. There are girlfriends and wives who are not okay with or grossed out by some of these fetishes and the men do not push their women because they still love them very much. Its just that they still have an unfulfilled fetish or two and at this point will turn to the internet where they can remain anonymous.
So if there are women ...or men who want to fulfill others needs and perhaps have a need fulfilled of their own by interacting on line regarding fantasies or fetishes or anything other thing, then it only needs to be okay with those two individuals. As long as you are being as safe as possible.
I do know of a woman 10 years older than me who is divorced, living in a remote community, too far for anyone to travel to have a relationship and she is still a very sexual creature. She used to be a neighbor. She was doing on line relationships through Second Life, an online venue using Avatars where you can experience anything there that one could experience in real life but for some reason can't or you wouldn't as its too scary or not even feasibly possible. You can experience what its like to be vampire, a gunslinger in the wild west or pursue your wildest fantasies. She met actual people that way. The men tended to be searching for female avatars that they could have sex with and though she wasn't into acting thru the stranger fantasies, she knew a person or two who were. There was a male who wished he'd been born of the female gender. So his avi was female so he could experience in some ways what its like to be seen and treated as a female by others. I am now a close friend of this person and have heard in passing some of the crazy stuff that comes up. He knows someone who made money in the game venue which is set up to make game money generated by having Second life properties they rent, having retail stores selling avi's clothing, jewelry etc... or those who get tips and paid game money to sing in clubs, act, be dj's at clubs, etc. He tho male, but being bi, had a convincible female avi who seemed to know just how to talk to the male avi's and was willing to interact online regarding the most bizarre fantasies and fetishes.
He had a men paying him game money who believed him to truly be a female in real life, to do things they could not do in real life, like a man from Japan whose fetishes and fantasies were forbidden there in real life and if he was caught, he'd lose everything in life and could end up going to jail. This is serious stuff. So I have heard of some of the most bizarre strange things that people would never do in real life for health concerns or other, but the thought of which gets them aroused away. I don't know what fetish you're talking about but i know of this guy getting paid enough game money that once added up could be taken out as real life money though not as much as the game money. So if you are ever thinking you'd could be doing what you are doing and possibly have a few clients in game and get paid extra pocket money for doing something that is fun for you, then why not. You might be stretched to consider fulfilling fantasies of others that are too far out to be comfortable for you in real life but others are willing to pay for. I never would have believed it in the past but the person I know in second life has come across those who like 'golden showers' peeing as a sexual turn on, but I never thought that people in real life would crave going further, pooping of each other or choosing to throw up on each other as a way to be aroused. While I would never be turned on by such things and find it too dangerous in passing on germs and getting infected, it does exist as a secretive fantasy. YOu are an adult and can choose what you wish as far as fetishes and fantasies. Maybe it will only be online and never in real life as it seems to be for most people. After all, it isn't easy going about finding someone in real life who has the same fetishes as you.
At any point the man becomes too demanding or you don't like something or feel uncomfortable, just stop and never answer him again. Even in second life, the woman had a stalker or two following her everywhere she went in the game, trying to talk in controling ways and it actually really scared her. She had to report him to game authorities and they will cancel accounts of anyone who breaks rules or gets too many complaints after they check out those avi's and find it to be true.
So I am saying that you might mention the game to him if you check it out and like it. It takes a long time to learn but there are always others on line willing to help you if you are having troubles and ask a question on how to do something on your end in playing the venue. Due to regulations, the game can be a safer place to play and interact with others. I tried it for a while just to do fun stuff like jet ski, or sail boarding since I don't swim in real life. But my avi was hit on by guys and too many like in real life just want sex with female avi's but there felt good manners were not needed. If a guy started talking abusive to me that I met while playing volley ball on a second life beach, and I had not accepted friendship so he had a link to find me, I could just click a button and leave the beach and he'd not be able to follow. Have fun and keep being careful.
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