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Am I in the wrong or is he crazy lol?
To make a not so long story short, I was very casually seeing somebody for about 3 months. Seeing as in I literally saw him FOUR times in three months. One time we took a walk together and the next three times he would come over and fall asleep in my bed within an hour (no intimacy or anything like that). We kissed a few times if even that. He would text me about once every couple weeks and the first three times I just assumed he was really busy. I suppose I was a little infatuated with him because he was cute, but otherwise I kept telling my best friends what a loser he was (sleeping on his friend's couch, no job, trying to make it big in a small town as a singer for a band)and that I just needed to kick him to the curb once and for all.
The night before the last time I saw him he "confessed" to me how much he liked me and then the next day he told me he was drunk and didn't remember anything he said. Obviously at that point I pretty much made up my mind to cut him out of my life. So I let him fall asleep as usual and when he woke up in the morning I bid him farewell and deleted his number out my phone (should have blocked it).
I signed up for a dating site that he apparently also happened to be on and sent me a nasty message about seeing that I'd signed up for it. The best part about all of this is that he obviously also had to be on the dating site to see my profile.
He made it sound like I was leading him on, but I think he was the one who was leading me on if anything. I literally hung on to a small glimpse of hope for 3 months that he liked me more as just a bed to sleep in when he didn't want to sleep on his friend's couch.
I ignored the message and I'm now seeing other people, but I just wanted confirmation that I didn't do anything wrong here?
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Nothing wrong. You know what he probably knows this and that his behavior if you've told us everything and truthfully is wrong. He just wants to take a jab at you, Ignore it and document any abusive messages. He will move on if he sees you cannot be bullied. It's best not to say anything because that's attention he craves. You owe him nothing and if he harasses you relentlessly can get him charged with doing so especially if threatening to you.
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Actually hon, you didn't do anything wrong, you just did a very smart thing. Guys like him are users, creating as many tentative relationships as they can to have more people to catch him if he falls so to speak and he knows he needs as many as he can get, females targeted because other males probably see faster what he's up to or the fact that he is really doing anything productive to get himself out of the situation he's in. So he likely has burnt too many bridges (people) and so he figures being on a dating site or meeting females and using the only thing he has, his looks to catch them and make them think he is really interested in them for a relationship when all he hopes for is a girl who is too naive to see him for what he is and afraid to kick out someone who at first glance may be down on their luck. I am not saying it is bad to dream of changing your vocation and shooting for something you really want to do, but you have to at least take any paying job and do that while trying to set up connections. Apparently, Mike Rowe of Dirtiest Jobs and Deadliest catch fame created an organization to promote that fact that there are many jobs that remain unfilled because people don't feel those jobs are glamorous enough, like construction, electrician, any other trade jobs. So he could find something, even if he has to leave town and try in a bigger metropolis. Thats what an intelligent mature person would do, do what must be done to survive but not let go of dreams. When he let his dreams to become a band singer take over to the point he dropped everything else including having some self pride, he fell hard. It was not your doing that he chose this path. You have to choice to allow someone to drag you along into their hole or to climb out and stay out and not allow anyone like that to use you. You weren't getting anything out of the friendship. And no, he has no right to be angry with you for being on a dating site as he is. He's there for the wrong reasons so he's the douch-bag, but you are there for the right reasons, to find someone to love, not to use.
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