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Alright, he asked me for a drink if I could go with him after my lesson, I said OK. We went for a one drink and said bye with friendly hug. He wanted to have 1 more but I said may be some other time and I will pay that time. He's mentioned few times saying, oh, are you taking me for a pint? I'm feeling like, why did he ask for a drink coz this is the first time we went for a drink and it was decent. Is it because he's going away for a few weeks and we won't see each other for a while or what? I've known him for a quite a while now and we're like jokers when we see each other. I like him and I know he likes me but not entirely sure because he's got a gf. What do I think? Am I in the wrong? Thanks!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you promised to buy his drink next time in return for his buying yours first time, then it is fine to reciprocate. As to whether it means anything, who's to know unless someone has the ability to read minds. I am guessing by mentioning lesson, that you are in college. So I am going to guess you're both college age.
With that in mind, there are two types of guys out there, the ones at this age who have commitment phobia or are thinking only of themselves and women as sex objects and so they cheat.
There is another type, the guy who wants to find a woman to settle down with eventually. He may not be in a hurry to marry, but he will instead of doing monogamous serial dating, meaning dating a while and later breaking up, others will date only to find out if they like a girl enough to be with her rest of his life. I believe that it is possible to date multiple people at the same time, or call it hanging out with to get to know better. Dating around to find the right person for you is what a few people do. I did this the 2nd time around after a divorce. I told the guys I was still doing exploratory dating to find someone I wanted to focus more on to discover if he might be right as my next sweetheart. And informed them I may be seeing other people at the same time.
I think that some good guys do this but even tho this is their intention, that sometimes they make the mistake of asking a girl to be their gf, cus they do not know any other way to do so and too many females would consider him seeing multiple girls to be cheating. Cheating can only be cheating is a person has promised to be a girls only guy, a firm commitment because he is in love with her.
It can take some guys a while to realize they are in love with someone but its worth waiting for.
So you need to decide for yourself if you want him to get a chance to get to know you better since you like him. I don't know how self confidant you are. But that is what guys need to have more ease discovering which of the females is right for him.
I would ask the guy if he sees himself as being a bachelor long term simply cus he choose solitude or whether he is thinking of searching around and deciding what the right female is to settle down with. Then I would say that the reason I am asking is because I don't mind if a guy hasn't decided yet or found that right person yet and if he feels the need to date around til he makes a decision, that is fine. However he has a girlfriend which insinuates that a commitment was made. If he hasn't made a commitment to her, then he should not be doing something that keeps her hopes up, believing he is 100% committed to her when all he is, is committed to finding his future life partner. I would then ask him where he falls and ask him why he is seeing me? One date is just one date and doesn't mean anything but since he is asking to go again, I think he is interested. Whether he is a player or the type who wants to find his forever woman, is your right to know, right up front. I did this with men who ranged ages 40 to 60 when I was on a dating site. And not a single one thought it odd that I would ask where they stand right up front.
It would be a waste of date to go out with a guy who isn't serious at all about finding his life mate unless you are into dating for social reasons and maybe to find a friend with benefits which is okay as long as both want that and nothing more.
Guys don't reason things out like females. They are quite different there so to assume he wanted to see you again because he is going to be away a few weeks probably was not a thought. Whatever commitment has him leaving for a while, even if its to go see family, is what will be taking his focus and attention.
So if you want to find out whether you could be more than friends, the thing to do is ask but make sure he realizes that you are not willing to share if he has made any kind of commitment to another girl and being her boyfriend if he ever asked her to be his girlfriend is a commitment.
Just ask "We do so well as friends that its made me wonder if we might do great as more than friends. However, Since you have a girlfriend, I am curious as to why you like hanging out with me? If you are hunting for the right person for you, I can understand and during any exploratory dating to find the right one, I don't expect a commitment. However having a girlfriend is in my minds eye, a commitment. So could you explain to me just what is going on here and where I stand? Because having a commitment to a girlfriend while seeing another girl, even as just a friend can potentially cause trouble to for with the girlfriend being jealous and maybe leaving you. So just how important is she and again, why would you risk that relationship to be with me? Not condemnin you here, just want to know what you are thinking, so I can myself make a better decision for me. See, I am not a mind reader...so whats up.
The last sentence is just a little humor to lighten things up but he still needs to answer you concisely. If he does not, its up to you to decide if you still want to hang out with him at times.
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