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(clarified edit) Rumours about my ex
My last description was very confusing, and I apologize, so Im retelling it. I am a female (17) who dated another girl for half a year, and I was the first girl she was ever with. She had cheated on me with a guy around spring time last year, but denied it, until she finally broke up with me. We fought alot over summer, since I was friends with almost everyone in my grade and they were mad that she cheated, which made her think i said bad things about her. Well, school starts up again and she decides to ask me out and I say yes. Then my parents take me out of the school, but I still saw her on the weekends. Well, up comes December, which was our most eventful month (when we started getting close romantically, t il she asked me out on the 19th), and when I texted her on her birthday and on our anniversary she just left me on read, then stopped reading my messages altogether. Then I mailed her gifts, and she didnt mention anything about our anniversary to me or send me anything, but bragged to others about how I had sent her stuff. In January she begins hanging out with this very popular boy, who only uses girls for pleasure not love, but nonetheless is very attractive, anf his name is Will. I find out that she is flirting with him and two other boys, and that during December time she was cheating on me with someone who was completely aware of my relationship with her, and he had been my friend. In February she admits to "lightly pecking Will on the cheek", but I later find out she was making out with him. I get mad at her, and she breaks up with me but continues to tell myself and other people that shes in love with me. I see her at a mall in February, and Will is grabbing her butt with his tongue in her mouth and she is moaning, in front of everyone at the mall! I turn right around instead of talking to her, but I guess she saw me, because she gets furious that I didnt walk up to her ("I would have fallen to my knees and kissed your hands if you had come over. You know I love you.") So we meet up in very late February (still broken up, both of us single) and she gives me a ring her German grandfather made ( to signify loyalty, apparently) and she kisses me, which is fine until she tries making out in public, which I politely pull away from. Idk what the "loyalty" bullshit was because she sat there snapchatting Will the whole time, then later that night they were seen making out at a party, but he is not interested in a relationship with her, he just wants to hook up. Well now there are rumours circulating that she gave him a blowjob, but people have lied about her having sexual relations with people before, so I dont know whether to believe it or not. She still tells me shes in love with me... umm what do I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
She may want to be with you but she also want to fool around with Will.
Are you ok with her doing both?
If you do not want to share her then leave her.
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There is being in love with someone and then there's committing to a relationship and I think she may actually love you but that alone is not enough if you are after a relationship where as she is not, which is the impression I get from the way she is acting and the stuff she is doing.
I don't really have a problem with people being intimate in public nor do I let it bother me but some people can find it unnerving and awkward and I am assuming you are one of these people that don't like to show intimacy in public? If this is the case, for whatever reason this might be, then perhaps tell her so she knows the reason you pulled away was not because of her but because it was in public and you don't like that.
It seems to me that she does like you and maybe does love you but she is just not ready to commit to a relationship and settle down to one person and at her age (I assume she is the same age as you) this is not surprising in the least, she is young and wants to explore what is out there and her sexuality. If this is indeed the case which I suspect it may well be, then you need to decide what you want. Are you wanting to be with her and if so then perhaps you need to talk to her and ask her what it is that she is wanting? Because if you both are after different things then perhaps now just isn't the time to pursue her, she seems to just want to be free to explore but perhaps after that she will want more but this is not to say you should wait for this to happened because you don't want to put your own life on hold waiting for something that may never happened.
Rumours happened all the time and most of the time they may well be rubbish but in this case you also have to remember that you both are single, if she wants to do stuff with someone else then it is not like she is cheating so personally I don't think you should judge her on it. If this guy is as bad as you say then perhaps you may need to fill the role of being a caring friend to her instead of coming across as a jealous ex and tell her what he is about so she knows what she is getting herself into? It seems from how she has been with you and with him she may even have feelings for both you and him. She already knows you are there for her and are a sure thing to fall back on and so is trying her luck with this guy to try see if she can make him into more than what he is, it's only a guess at this point but the only way to really know what she is thinking will be for you to talk to her.
Sorry if this reply seems a little all over the place but given the circumstances you've described there are so many possibilities or things that can be going on it is hard to be able to pinpoint anything definitive and each possibility I think of just spawns out further possibilities. You need to ask yourself what you want (a relationship?) and then perhaps ask her what it is she is after at this moment in time because if she is not after the same thing then this problem will just keep happening and you would, for lack of a better way to put it, be wasting your time pursuing her and in the process getting hurt. You may realise that the best thing to do is just try be a friend to her until she realises what it is she wants because she may have no idea, and move on with things. You were her first female relationship so she could be conflicted about her sexuality, she is split between you (her first female girlfriend) and a guy she also likes... as you can see there are so many possibilities but the only way to be certain might be to talk to her about it all.
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