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I have a big fear of being left out


Question Posted Thursday March 30 2017, 5:56 pm

Hi :) , i just wanted you to tell , just randomly that i fear so much of being left out, when i hear talking my friends talking about their plans, when they will hang out soon, and i want to be included,I have really big anxiety about it, i dont want to be left out and be alone, and this anxiety consumes me,i really have big panic attacks about it, what should i do about it ?...i also have anxiety when i see my brother texting with someone all the time, bc most of the time im not really texting with anyone 😥😥, im justbused that no one texts me :/...i dont know why is this happening to me


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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


rainhorse68 answered Saturday April 1 2017, 4:10 am:
Hi there. Try all you can to not let this become an issue that causes you real distress and anxiety. Us humans are social creatures. That just means we form big communities and live together. In towns and cities. So we naturally seek the feeling of being one of the herd, or flock as we would say about other animal groups. You actually are a member of many of our smaller herds within our bigger communities. First one of the nursery school group, then of your class, which is part of your school. Then your university. Your street. Your company workforce. And so on. The social media companies like facebook use this natural desire. Telling you how many 'friends' you have. Who is 'following' you. Who 'likes this' and so on and so on. We all enjoy feeling like we have lots of friends and followers, and we all like being liked. The companies have done very well, and social media is generally considered a good thing and enjoyed by it's users. But don't let the whole scene get you anxious and worried and feeling inadequate. Quite lot of people do in our current times and the social media outfits are a little bit to blame, I fear. Enjoy the scene, but keep things real and don't buy into rating your self-worth on how many texts and 'friends' you can count!! The social groups we actually hang out with are dynamic. They change like the weather over our lives. It's not very helpful to look at one particularly close bunch and feel left-out sometimes. And that particular kind of 'being in my gang' bonding is very largely a youth-culture thing. It becomes very less apparent and less important as we get a little older, say into our early twenties. Some days we like solitude and independence, sometimes we want lots of people around. All part of the mixed bag of life. You're fine. You'll be fine. X

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