Female, 15, NZ
Hi, so I had my first day at school for this year today and I am unhappy with the class I'm in. It is filled with the stereotypical guys in the back of the class that get into trouble and yell things out all the time, while making more shy people like me really uncomfortable. I've dealt with people like that before in my class but these guys are very disruptive. Then there are the 'popular' girls who don't really want to know who you are unless you go to parties. Then there are the very few who want to learn in the front, but I'm not like that either... it's super hard for me to explain. I like socialising with people I feel are a bit more approachable, but when there are those who are unapproachable, I can get a bit shy. I just know that this year I will not be able to have fun in class and I will dread going to class everyday. I don't want school to be like that. I asked the coordinators if I could change my class, through an email. I told them that some of the people in my class make me uncomfortable because I've had a 'bad history' with them. They told me to see them tomorrow... I think they'll definitely want to know why why and why I want to move classes. But I just feel like my real reason isn't valid enough, and I don't know how I would explain it to them. Is this reason valid? What should I say to them? Or should I just suck it up and tell them I've given it some more thought and realised that I will be ok to stay in my class?
Please give me some advice on this ASAP, as I see them tomorrow. It would be appreciated greatly! Thank you for reading.
Should they ask for another reason you can add that it would be better for you if you were in a class that you had some friends in. It appears from what you have written that in this class you do not have anyone you can count on to work with.
While I am not a psychologist it does sound like you might suffer from a form of social anxiety problem. It would be well worth it to be tested for this and treated for it now while you are young then later in college or when you go out into the work force.
Talk to your parents about this. The first step is to see your family doctor for a complete physical and to explain that you might be suffering from a social anxiety disorder. This way the doctor will know what organic reasons to test for. IF all is negative then some talk therapy with a good psychologist should be all that is needed to help you with this.
Social anxiety is not a mental disorder. Many of us suffer from some form of this. Generally it is caused from something that has happened to us in the past that we have buried and not dealt with properly. Working with a psychologist you can bring that problem out and learn to deal with it properly and go on to have a better life.
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