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Difference between flirting and bantering?!
Hello guys, a not so close friend says come on, we're bantering and smiles? What does he mean by this? Sounds like he's flirting but I could be wrong. Thanks!
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I am a person who loves to tease and my speech is often filled with playful humorous teasing. So I had to ask myself what is different then when I am flirting because bantering can come off as flirting.
So I would have to say that flirting is more of a part of the wooing process when two people first meet and both are romantically attracted to the other and flirting is used as a way to let the other know how you are feeling about them. Eventually you become a couple and become used to each other and get to know lots about the other person, their sense of humor and how well they will tolerate teasing. Close friends who know each other well will know exactly what kind of things to say that will tickle the others funny bone or get a rise out of them in some way. Some people may use a sarcastic tone and personal jabs that sound maybe as if they are trying to upset the other but thats hardly ever true. Although those with social anxiety as I had as a kid and teen may see bantering as trying to pick on and pester a person in a more mean way. And thats how I used to see things. Now, when someone tries bantering, I dish it back just as good and usually am laughing having fun.
If I banter with my husband, someone may think at times we are flirting, but I don't need to get his attention as I did at the beginning when we met. If someone thinks its flirting now, its more really promising tease, a sexual one using innuendo's that spice up the relationship and make us chuckle as if over private jokes.
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Have you ever watched a band on stage between songs seemingly killing time with jokes and perhaps not so gentle jabs at one another? This is an example of bantering. It's rapid fire and more like sparring back and forth. That's what he thinks you're doing.
With flirting it can at times be like banter but always done to attract someone to you. It's playful, often done with body language, amusing and of course not to sting. There's romantic stuff behind it where as banter wouldn't have that.
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