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My 16 year old sister has a drug problem..how to help?
Hello, I just wanted to get some advice on what to do with my sister. She has just turned 16 and over the last few months she has been heavily abusing drugs and alcohol.
It started maybe 6 months ago and i knew she was doing it here and there (MDMA, weed and drinking/smoking) but i didn't really see it as an issue because i did the same things here and there when i was 19-20. I discussed it with her and told her the issues but she said she wasnt doing it much.
However over the last few months she has been constantly angry, sleeping, got fired from 2 jobs, and our family is falling apart because of the constant arguments. Every time my parents go away for the weekend, she will throw a party and trash the house her mates take drugs and smoke inside the house. I don't want to start drama with her so i let it happen so that we are on good terms, but frankly i have come to my last nerve with this because i get into arguments with my parents for letting it happen.
I hacked into her computer which is connected to her phone and read all her messages and was horrified at what i found. She takes drugs every 2nd day, and has had sex with over 15 people..she's 16!!! To make it even worse she brags about how much drugs she takes to her friends.. like they think shes cool or something. She has sold her speakers for drugs, and my mothers gold jewellery.
Now i dont know whether this is just a drug phase everyone goes to, or whether this is becoming a problem. Do i send her to a clinic? My parents have tried everything and nothing works to discipline her.
Thank you
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Its not for you to handle her but support your parents in how they handle her. Your going along with her parties to stay on her friends list was the wrong thing to do. Initially you approached her and gave her a chance to straighten up, a big sister pep talk. But at the point that she disregarded what you said and went all overboard on drugs and sex, it was now your responsibility to let your parents know what she was doing and is doing. Since she is a minor still, it is up to your parents to take care of her and disciplining or finding out what is the cause of her going off track like this is for them to do. All you can do is report and stick with them.
Of course she will lash out at you and the parents and say how she hates you all or its none of your business. Its typical teen behavior. She still doesnt have the abilty to make good decisions on her own due to the fact that the frontal lobe of the brain is still immature even though her body has matured. She may feel grown up but all of us don't come into our ability to have fully mature decision making abilities until we hit about mid twenties on the average according to tests by scientists.
So you and the parents can not leave it up to her and she is not going to see this as loving intervention but that can't be helped right now. Some day in the future when she is okay and older like towards thrity, she'll be thanking you and the parents for stepping in and helping her.
The parents should probably talk to school counselors and then get referrals to a counselor for teens with issues. She may need to be entered into teen drug treatment programs/support groups along with your family so you know how to help her, what to do, what not to do.
Your sister is way past where the disipline stage can help anymore, professional help is needed at this point and its the parents responsibility to do so. Let them know. I hope that using this form of tough love will be successful in turning your sister around.
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