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Get cringed out every time play with myself
Hiya! I am 21 and get horny more often than normal but I can't seem to give myself pleasure. It just cringes me out every time I finger myself or rub, I can't seem to enjoy it. But I enjoy it from my partner? It gets out of hand sometimes as I don't live with partner so have to wait till we both free for me to stay over a night.
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I'm not sure what the term cringed out means. When I read your question I thought you meant that you can engage in the activity and suddenly have to stop because the intensity was too much. If it's that than trying a different way would resolve that.
If in fact you are grossed out or feel weird about doing this than don't. Along the way you must have had an adult tell you "nice girls don't do that" or made you to think what you were doing is bad. In fact it's quite normal and statistically 77% of women of all ages do it and that number may even be higher.
They just aren't talking about it. You can be adults you know and friends are all doing it. Certainly you are far from the only one. As a child of course it's not a sexual thing but rather them discovering body parts like their nose and that this feels good and comforting. It can be like that for adults too. Even if you are "horny" that's a perfectly normal thing to feel and this is a safe form of release and of dealing with stress.
I cannot say why you enjoy partner sex and not this activity. What I can recommend is to relax here and instead of stopping if you feel uneasy or grossed out is to continue instead and see that everything is A-okay. Perhaps if you did that a few times any hangups you had would fade. If you have a therapist or doctor you trust you could raise this topic with them.I'm pretty sure along the line someone gave you a negative view.
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I'm not a psychologist but I would guess what the problem is has to do with your upbringing and mom saying how dirty it is to play with yourself. Some day some future generation of parents will learn how wrong they are to tell their children this.
Masturbation is not dirty, it is not sinful. It is a healthy and safe way to relieve sexual tension especially for a female. There is no record of any women getting pregnant from masturbation alone.
Which is where the problem lies for most parents. As you have experienced mutual masturbation is part of foreplay which gets you ready for sex. Foreplay is much needed for the female so she can get excited and lubricate to allow the male to enter her. If the male is erect he doesn't need foreplay to perform it is an added bonus to the intimacy of the evening.
It is the pleasure received from masturbation that worries parents that you will want more before you are ready for intercourse. Which is why they have the many different tales to tell about masturbation.
You are now old enough to have sexual relations and there should be no reason why you can't enjoy self-pleasure in between sexual relations with your partner. Standing in the way for many of us is that lingering effect of our parents that it's dirty. That and the fact it is something done in private. Masturbation is something that should be done in private vs. whenever or wherever you please but it adds to the feeling of being dirty unless it is with a partner.
You need to make up your mind that there is nothing wrong, when the need warrants, with getting comfortable and pleasuring yourself. There are many different ways of doing so. Finding which one is right for you can be part of the fun of masturbation.
IF you are truly having trouble getting past this and would like to. Then I suggest you speak with a sex therapist to help you past what ever is troubling you. A sex therapist is usually a psychologist whose practice is in sexual help.
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