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how do i know if im lesbian?
I liked this guy and then we hooked up yesterday but it was mt first kiss. Now i dont think i like him anymore and i didnt like the kiss. Could i be lesbian or something and just dont know it because ive never experienced any of it? Im 16 female
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You may like what you see on the outside. We can appreciate looking at beautiful breath taking vista's without feeling a sexual attraction. It's kinda like the fanciest prettiest professionally wrapped Christmas gift you ever got. You really like or love the wrapping. Is it a guarantee that you will still like what is inside?
Same with people dear.
Now, I will have to guess what you meant by 'like'. You probably saw him on Tinder or some app that younger folks are using, I'm in my late 50s. I did use a dating site to find my 2nd husband. So I do understand the things it can stand for. On a dating app, clicking like, usually means you are attracted to a person by looks alone. I have read what Tinder and other apps are about, its mostly set up to be a photo with very little info about the person.
Lets see how far off I am, you can write again if I am wrong and clarify so I can give you the best advice still.
So I am guessing you clicked that you liked how he looked and he did the same back. Now comes the hook up part. People today mean I got together with casually, or got together for sex. I wont assume since there was only a kiss that more wasn't hoped for on both your parts. So you meet up with him and he's so hot looking that you are really hoping for a kiss from him. You haven't done anything more yet but if you meet a hot looking guy, you just might. So he kisses you and all that you imagined a kiss could be, could feel like from what friends told you or from movies, romance stories, it doesn't come close. It lacked that passion and tingle and heart flipping stuff.It might have been even worse than not feeling anything, you may even have felt disgusted as if someone you are not sexually attracted to, like a dad or brother or someone like that kissing you passionately, yes that would feel gross and wrong. I am straight and i have kissed men on a date and felt that and knew they were the wrong one for me.
See, what I've learned during my life is that something called pheromones is responsible for the 'hooking up' or sexual attraction to someone. I just call it having chemistry. If you've had chemistry in school, you know that some things mix well together and other things you don't dare mix together or it can be dangerous. Having chemistry or pheromones the same or similar means the pheromones mix well. They're invisible so how can you tell if you have compatible pheromones?
The kiss. That's the first sign and you usually don't have to go any further than the kiss to have an inkling wether it would work out.
The fact you didn't like the kiss with him was most likely because the two of you do not make a good match pheremone wise. But before you think theres a quick fix, there isnt. We can't change the pheromones our bodies emit any more than we can change how tall we are or the color of our eyes (without artificial means).
If you were lesbian, you would pretty much suspect that already and it wouldnt be because of reaction to his kiss. If you were truly lesbian and not bi, you would get sexually aroused, attracted to and feel desire for females only. A bi woman will have several scenerios. Either shes single and dates both men and women as well as sex, or she has just one male who is her husband and has one or many lesbian partners. Men are more accepting and not as jealous when it comes to their woman loving of them but also women. Its not as threatening as the other person being another male. Since you were looking at guys and not females, I am fairly sure you at this point in your life are attracted to males not females.
Lets looks for example at something different, what gender a person is. Little children not in school yet and who do not have hormones of puberty yet to rely on to help them know whether they are male or female. They just follow what they are attracted by or most interested in. If a 4 yr old male child wants to wear dresses like sister and play with dolls, no one had to tell him he was transgender. I feel to a good extent you can have a pretty good idea of where you are currently at sexually and know what you are attracted to without having experienced it before.
Who we are sexually in our teens when we are just newly embarked on our sexual journey is one that will last a lifetime. Who I was at 16 did not resemble who I was sexually at 20 or 36, 46 or now 58 because I have continued to learn and grow and experience more things sexually depending on who my partners were, and other surrounding circumstances. You will change too. Perhaps in the future, you just may meet that one female you fall in love with but you are also in love with a boyfriend or a husband and you are bi. Or some people marry and have kids and later in life decided that they had just buried the truth about how they've always felt and just wanted to fit in and not stick out so they went along with what they felt would most resemble a society normal? But the thing is, practically any kind of realation;ship these days is considered normal.
I wouldn't worry about being able to label yourself now for anything other than just now. What you identify with sexually in the future, can be defined in the future. So try dating guys for now. If you feel the same way after dating just guys, then might be the time to try a female the next time .
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