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Boyfriend loses his erection in bed. Problem with condoms?
I'm 28/f. Boyfriend is 27/m. We've been together for a year and a couple months (minus a few weeks where I thought I wanted to break up with him).
But, straight to the point, he always seems to lose his erection while we're mid-intercourse, now. He always says he was distracted, had to go to the bathroom, or he was in pain somehow (and yeah, that would cause problems), but honestly - does it take THAT much concentration to keep it?
Bit of a TMI here - he's HUGE. And uncut. We use Trojan Magnums, and I wonder if they're a)too small for him and b)dulling sensation for him - or too thick? We've actually broken them before. Also, I'm tiny. And really tight down there. So my best guess is the combination of being uncut and wearing a condom kills the sensation, plus the frustration of thrusting to no avail leads to him going soft (which then leads to me not climaxing - if my partner isn't having a good time, neither am I).
I'm on birth control, and I'm big on the "no unplanned babies" thing. We had sex without a condom ONCE, and then didn't have sex for a month after. When I finally got him to talk about it, he said doing it minus the condom hurt him (it was his first time sans-condom), and freaked him out.
Is it normal for it to have hurt him? Should we try a bigger condom? Are we just not compatible?
Help me out, please? ... Thank you.
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Let's take this a step at a time as you touch on several different problems the biggest one being painful intercourse for him without a condom.
The condom protects him during intercourse from pain possibly from his foreskin which may not be receding fully. If this is the case he may need to be circumcised. I would suggest the first step to solving your problems is to see an erection dysfunction specialist or a Urologist. His primary care doctor should be able to refer him to one or the other.
If nothing is wrong there the next step would be to try a different condom. If sensitivity is a problem try the lambskin ones. They are more expensive but they are thinner and allow more sensation.
Having a small vagina should not be a problem. Remember what it is designed to allow to come out of it. You should be able to stretch to accommodate him. I would think that after a year of having sex with him the muscles in your vagina would relax and stretch to accommodate him.
My suggestion is you visit your GYN and discuss this with the doctor. The doctor can then check to see why or if you muscles have locked up or give you exercises to help them relax.
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