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I'm a girl, & the past 5 years I've been in love w/ an asexual, queer man
who is a decade older than me. how can i stop? is this self-sabotage? i've tried to like other guys but i never like them as much. i already have never even liked the typical guy most girls like (ryan gosling, channing tatum, drake, etc.).
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hi there! I'm not sure how old you are. You mentioned that you are a "girl" but you are in love with a "man." This could just be the way we speak, and you may not have noticed it! But, I will provide advice for both occasions.
If you are under the age of 18, I would suggest that you do not pursue someone who is a decade older than you are. It can bring about serious legal repercussions. When I was younger, I had an inability to see how things would effect me in the future. But, as I've seen them unravel, I have had to take that into careful consideration. I had a lot of crushes as a teenager and even as a younger girl (10-12 years old) on guys who were probably in their twenties. But, obviously, it wasn't something I pursued. I just enjoyed having a crush on someone, as most young girls do. If this is the case, I would suggest you do the same.
If you are an adult, I would consider that you take a clear look at the situation from the perspective of this person. If he is asexual, he does not have the ability to be sexually attracted to someone. Are you prepared to live with that? Just because a person is asexual doesn't mean that they don't want to have a meaningful relationship. Would you be willing to have a meaningful, emotional relationship... without the sex? You should explore these feelings and ponder upon what you are willing to give up and what you are not. If sex is not important to you and you desire the emotional aspect of the relationship, perhaps you can come forward with your feelings and relay that to this guy. If you are not, then, you should consider how you will move on.
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