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Can't climax at alll
I'm having trouble orgasming an I'm not sure why anymore. I'm having trouble making the connection that I have had one. I start to feel it start to get hot sweaty breathing heavy and all twitchyand when I'm just about to or think I'm about to I completely lose it. Nothing more happens after all that. Nothing comes out. I don't ever feel like it was a go I d release. How do I fix this?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
Since I dont know your sex or whether you even have a sex partner or are masturbating regularly, I will need to cover a few things that may not even pertain to you.
Sometimes, the problem with orgasming is due to ones sexual system basically going to sleep from lack of stimulation. A psychologist friend once told my husband this, warning him that in between partners to keep masturbating because a guy can slow down and eventually go to sleep. More often than not, once a man is unable to have orgasms anymore, and I am not talking about ED, it never comes back. Females can go to sleep also but in the future with the right lover, if she isn't masturbating too, she often can return to fully functioning. This is why it is so important to keep some sexual activity going, the more often the better, especially as we grow older.
This is not to be mistaken for lack of desire. The desire and want can be there, even getting close, but unable to orgasm.
It is still a good thing to see a medical dr. to see if beyond lack of consistant use, that there isn't another medical issue.
Other than this physical problem, there is the mental one. Perhaps we want it so bad, but deep down, our subconscious is suffering from some kind of stress, problems/issues other than sexual between partners can have an affect too.
The brain is known to be our greatest sex organ. Think about it a minute, this is why men can be dreaming about having sex and wake up to find he had an orgasm without his sexual organs stimulated in any way other than mental. Or women when reading a graphic sex noval or watching a movie can get really wet and ready for a partner who isn't there and a few can even have a orgasm this way, without touching herself.
You probably have an inkling which of the two may be more likely your problem. Just in case you are one who has a sex partner who gets it as much as you want by the ability has been to decline, this too can be linked to brain, thoughts, especially emotions. If on a scale of 1-10, your sex partner fall on a 8-10 there as far as being sexual equals, both wanting the other, then there'd be no problem. For 5-7s some of the time there would be little issues, but if your sexual comoatibility runs about 1-4, then you're not with the right kind of person where deep down your subconscious is happy with your sexual situation and partner. I was mismatched in first marriage and didn't have my first orgasm by a partner until in my late 40s. Before that I masturbated because as partners, our pheremones were so far different, neither of us inspired passion and desire in the other. So to go through it mechanically just to do it for the release without enjoying the person and the whole process became more a chore than a pleasure and stress relief outlet. That made it very difficult to orgasm at times. Then also, as we get older, our bodies slow down and some due to age can experience issues also. Women going thru menopause and afterwards are told to expect things to not necessarily be the same, vaginal dryness and lack of desire are common but not every person gets that. I'll use myself as an example, since I went thru menopause, I may have occasional dryness which lube helps. But I used to be able to do the female version of ejaculation everytime, gushing as some call it. Now I am lucky if it happens once a week, tho I may still orgasm without that. And then I'd have a week of nothing but orgasms and the next week, it feels good but like you stated, you get so very close and nothing happens. I know due to my age that this is age related and I keep up the activity, taking what I can get and its all pleasureable, just not maybe the stress relieving potentcy of an orgasm.
If you have a partner and both love sex and it's just getting to a point where even though its good, you're not orgasming, a fun thing to try for couples is Tantric Sex. There are books, videos and classes on the subject so just check around. My take on it is that the exercises you go thru, and the slower pace, taking time to build up connection, excitement and retraining the brain to become more involved.
If you still have problem and its not getting better, and Dr. has cleared you on physical issues, then it may be time to go see a sex therapist.
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